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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that not buy DS1 (4) a nintendo ds or wii is not deprivation.

55 replies

fruitstick · 03/11/2010 08:26

My sister asked last night whether ds1 would like a NDS for Christmas. I said no.

He enjoys the games on my phone but I feel that as it is my phone is it entirely at my discretion when he uses it. The same with my laptop.

My sister more or less said that it was neglect and that he would be the only voy on reception not to have one. I don't think he knows what one is!

She then said that I was trying to shelter him from life !!!

Her next tactic was to imply that if I was a more disciplined parent there would be no issue with him playing it too much as I would be able to Marshall it.

So AIBU? An I the equivalent of one of those patents who didn't have a tv,

I don't object to games consoles ingeneral but figure there is plenty of time for that. I want to make the mist of the trainset years. Grin

OP posts:
FreudianSlimmery · 03/11/2010 09:55

Of course YANBU - apart from the fact that IMHO 4 is a bit young (my 3.4yo plays on our consoles but no way would she have her own one yet) - your child, your rules!

domesticsluttery · 03/11/2010 09:56

YANBU.

DS1 had a Nintendo DS when he was 7 (he spent a lot of time moaning that he was the only child on the planet who didn't have one). After a few weeks though the novelty wore off and he doesn't play with it a great deal.

I certainly wouldn't buy my 4 year old DD one yet.

Anniegetyourgun · 03/11/2010 10:02

I'm a complete techno junkie, I love computer games, as do my (adult and teen) DCs, and have sometimes lived in an RPG when real life got too rubbish. I still think 4 is too young for a kid to have his own games console, so there.

It is kind of your sister to be prepared to buy something so expensive for her nephew, though. So let her down gently rather than telling her to her face that she is on another planet. (I've got one similar. Good soul but always knows best.)

spacedog · 03/11/2010 10:03

YADNBU. DS is nearly 12 and doesn't own a console. He'll sometimes play DH's PS3 but isn't fussed. DD is 5.5 and they are not yet on her radar. We went to a friend's house over half term and my kids were totally bored watching hers play with various screen based gadgets all bloody day. I wanted to throw it all out the window.

Original poster
fruitstick · 03/11/2010 10:04

Thank you all. Good to know I'm not a loon.

My sister is older than me and her children are I. Their twenties. I don't really think she understands what the scope fir gadgetry is these days and the prevalence of computer games.

She also likes to undermine me on a regular basis. Grin.

I think it's the solitary nature of them I don't like. We only have one tv which is in the sittng room and we use the laptop together.

DH has a ps3 which ds1 is allowed to play on a Saturday morning with DH. This is on the strict understanding that I do not know how it works so there is no point in asking me fit it during the week!

However I have no idea what to ask her to buy him instead Blush

OP posts:
Poshpaws · 03/11/2010 10:09

Can't she buy him board games?

A scooter?

LightlyKilledCrunchyFrog · 03/11/2010 10:31

Mine have a Wii and DS1 (aged 5) is getting a second hand original DS for Xmas, not from me, and against my better judgement. So I have got a massive timer. It is going to be very limited, because he is going to get obsessed with it (already happened with the ipod/ phone.)

He has had a Leapster since he was 2, they are a good entry point IMO.

DancingHippoOnAcid · 03/11/2010 11:10

The other problem with the DS is that not only is the console itself expensive but the games are often over £30 a pop.

OP, I don't suppose your sister will be running out to buy all those expensive must-have DS games that the Dcs would be whining for over the next 10 years will she Hmm

girlywhirly · 03/11/2010 11:25

Of course YANBU. Children need to learn how to do stuff in the real world before they start on the virtual one.

Perhaps you could inform your sister that she isn't up to speed with current thinking on pre-schoolers and what is most appropriate for them to play with?

Put your foot down and say that NDS is for when he is older and give alternative suggestions for gifts. I find her criticism of your parenting rather offensive, everyone has the right to raise their child as they see fit. Does she always give such expensive gifts, and is she trying to outdo you? Or does she throw money at her nephew to make up for being a rubbish aunt?

pranma · 03/11/2010 11:29

I cant imagine dgs [4] playing with such a thing but 2!!!!!! What on earth would a 2yr old do with one?There are years and years to be plugged in to electronic rubbish These are the trainset and lego years-let the poor little things read and play for a while.My dgc [7and10]are getting nds for Christmas because their aunt thinks they are 'deprived'-sad.

Poogles · 03/11/2010 11:43

We only got the 2yo one to stop the fights. He has played on his cousins and there are games he can manage. He always loses interest after 2 mins anyway but the main reason for buying it was that it would stop the fights with his brother.

I would NOT have bought either of them a new one and only got these because they were ridiculously cheap. My initial reaction was 'no they're too young' but DH convinced me given that they use their cousins and my phone.

As with everything else, I am the parent and I will dictate when and how long they use them. I don't expect them to be used that much, mainly only in the car on a long journey. You could accuse me of being indulgent (probably am) and a lazy parent to buy the 2yo one to avoid refereeing a fight (again, probably am) but trust me they won't be glued to them (not that lazy a parent!!!).

fedupwithdeployment · 03/11/2010 11:55

YANBU

I have 2 DSs (6 and 3) and they don't have them and don't want them (yet!)

At parents' evening DS1's teacher said we should encourage traditional games like snake and ladders, and not hand held electronic things as children don't learn to share / take turns.

timetomove · 03/11/2010 12:12

My parents wanted to buy my DCs one for their birthday (5 and 7). I objected to this on the basis that they were not asking for it and it seemed to me that that type of expenditure can only really be justified on something the child is desparately keen on, so they don't take things for granted. My DH objected on the basis of wanting them to live in the real world etc etc.
My parents decided DH's reasons were snobbish (and ignored mine) and my mum insisted that it was her money to spend as she liked. Quite right of course, although I pointed out that it would be up to us to decide how often the kids could play with them. In the end we compromised on one to share (they have birthdays in the same month). This works ok. It comes out about once a month or on the odd car journey (and they take it in turns nicely) and play with it until the battery charge runs out.

olderandwider · 03/11/2010 12:44

YANBU When DS was about 4 or 5 he threw a massive tantrum when we tried to take him away from a Nintendo game he was watching/playing at a hotel were were staying at.

He'd had one tantrum before that. One! (that is not a boast btw. He was just very chilled about most things.)

Point is, DS was an incredibly chilled child yet he could not bear being dragged away from that blardy screen. He is quite a focused individual and the game just capitalised on that quality.

If your DS has obsessive tendancies, I wouldn't introduce him to a DS yet!

olderandwider · 03/11/2010 12:45

tendencies

DancingHippoOnAcid · 03/11/2010 12:49

timetomove - your parents were BU as, sure, she is entitled to spend her money as she wishes but you are entitled to decide whether you want your DCs exposed to computer games.

So she is free to buy a DS for herself, but to go and buy one for your DCS after you said you don't want them to have one is extremely rude.

You are the one who has to deal with the tantrums when they don't want to stop playing it.

I would be pretty Angry with them TBH

DancingHippoOnAcid · 03/11/2010 12:50

I really wish I had not let my DS use a Nintendo DS as he is like your DS, olderandwilder, a bit obsessive and would play it all day if allowed.

Has caused some bad tantrums in the past.

altinkum · 03/11/2010 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/11/2010 13:03

Mine are 7 and 10. No DS here either. And I'm glad because DS2 appears to have an addictive personality. One less thing to argue negotiate about

choufleur · 03/11/2010 13:05

DS (4.7) desperately wants a ds but is NOT having one for a long time. I see them as quite solitary things. We have however bought a Wii for Christmas as we can play that together.

YANBU

GingerCursedEeeee · 03/11/2010 13:05

Your sister is bonkers!

MumNWLondon · 03/11/2010 13:08

why not suggest leapfrog explorer - its cheaper and software is educational. i will not buy a DS but if ds1 wants something like that would buy the leapfrog one.

we have a wii and they do sometimes play with it. (i bought it though for me for wii fit)

nella2 · 03/11/2010 13:08

YANBU a friend of mine has bought her 5 yr old a DS. It's all he wants to do now and nags her constantly for it.

PaisleyLeaf · 03/11/2010 13:12

yanbu. But that's a v generous present from an aunty.

Rollmops · 03/11/2010 13:17

No. It is wise parenting decision and hopefully buys the child some time to be a child, i.e, run around outside, chase squirrels, build tree houses, hunt for fossils etc.

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