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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 5 is too young for loads of after school activities?

28 replies

blinks · 02/11/2010 23:59

DD1 recently started P1 and i'm feeling resistant to enrolling her in after school classes. A few of my friends have their kids in a club or two and one of my friends has her DD in at least 4.

my instinct is she's too wee and is already knackered after a day at school. i also think that just hanging out with her little sister and playing whatever they feel like playing is time well spent.

hmmmmmmm

OP posts:

WhyHavePets · 03/11/2010 00:07

Everyone is different, my friends child is far too worn out after school for activities and occasionally still has a nap, mine on the other hand are climbing from the rooftops begging for something to do. Having some kind of activity makes them much better at paying on their own/with each other.

It is simply aobut working out what is right for your child - and not judging others for working the same out for their child - even if the result is different!

ForMashGetSmash · 03/11/2010 00:08

I am a bit like you but I let my DD go to after school dance club in year 1...this year in yar 2 she could have joned Scottish Dancing too...bt I drew the line..2 late days home from school in a week when you are JUST 6 is too many. She also does drama at lunchtime one day...she is SHATTERED after a week at school.

I can't understand how some kids do all their activities and their homework and manage a play!

chixinthestix · 03/11/2010 00:10

No YANBU.
My DD is 5 and has just started rainbows for 1 hour once a week. Its the only thing she does after school and I'm not sorry at all as she is always really tired after a day at school and wants to come home and relax and play. Some of her friends seem to do activities every night and I don't know how they have the energy at 5.

Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:11

yeah, i'm not really judging them, each to their own... i just feel a pressure to do the same thing.

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Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:15

exactly, homework takes time too... i hear you, chix- some of her friend's have something on each day and i feel a bit judged that i'm not following suit. i think free play is under-valued and my instinct is that after a day or organised learning, just being able to hang out is necessary.

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chixinthestix · 03/11/2010 00:15

I feel pressured to do stuff too but have tried hard to resist. DD has asked to do things that her friends had talked about and we have tried a few but she has not wanted to keep going and not enjoyed them so I've not made her.

Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:17

do you think there's an element of maternal competition? look what my kids doing etc?

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WhyHavePets · 03/11/2010 00:18

Ah well, that is wrong. You should not feel pressure - unless it is from your dd of course!

At this age some dc (mine!) have boundless energy others do not and one size does not fit all. My dc have always been outdoors types who spend hours running about come rain or shine on the farm, perhaps it is just the way they have been bought up (i.e. always having had that kind of lifestyle)? Anyway, whatever the reason they would quickly lose themselves without proper activity but other dc would be past themselves.

You just have to decide what you are happy with and go with that, you are the one who knows your child not the other parents no matter how wonderful they think they are

Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:22

is free play not proper activity?

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chixinthestix · 03/11/2010 00:23

I also have DS who's 7 and really not interested in any kind of after school activity. He's busy and active but not that keen on sport and doesn't fancy beavers/cubs etc he just likes to do his own thing. His best friend is out every night at a different activity so I guess its horses for courses. I agree that after a structured day in school, free time is necessary and it means that we all have time to sit down and eat a cooked meal together as we are not rushing in and out to clubs.

ForMashGetSmash · 03/11/2010 00:24

My DC dropped nas at 18 months but she's still a lazy little thing..loves lying on the sofa! I see some of her mates going "Oooh not SWIMMING!" as they get carted off after school and she smugly waltzes home.

Her little friend though...she is one of those who cannot get enough of everything...I can't cope when she comes to play as every 5 minutes she wats to know "What are we doing now?" She is so used to organized activity that she cannot seem t play unsupervised whilst indoors.

ForMashGetSmash · 03/11/2010 00:24

Naps...not Nas!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 03/11/2010 00:28

For me, one of the biggest factors was that at 5, dd1 was the eldest of 3, so taking her out to after-school activities meant dragging the other two along, which didn't seem fair, and played havoc with our evening routines, so I didn't!

Dd's friend, otoh, is the youngest of 3, so she seemed to attend a lot more after-school activities, as often older siblings were doing them/ doing other things at the same time. So I guess personal circumstances come into it a lot

Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:28

that's what i mean FMGS- DD loves imaginative play, making houses, playing with toys/her sister, fannying around, jumping off the stairs onto cushions, making the sofa into a boat, drawing blahdeblah.

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Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:29

i have a younger DD too who really misses her older sister when she's at school so i also like them to have a good play together, rather than just have their schedules collide.

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ForMashGetSmash · 03/11/2010 00:32

I never went to anything except Chapel and didn't even begin that till I was about 8! Brownies again...I was more than 6....didn't harm me! I loved playing at home...

And another thing.. at 3.15 all I am thinking of is cooking, homework and baths! I dont want to go to some draughty hall or pool and watch DD "grow as a person" she can do that in a cardboard box in the hall.

WhyHavePets · 03/11/2010 00:34

Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. A lot of my dc's "activity" is free play - insofar as it is not an organised after school club. It is just that they are doing high energy activities, lots of running around outside type stuff every night for at least a couple of hours and all day at weekends.

There is certainly an element of competition. as Mash says you hear so many children complaing about the activity but hthe mothers are happily chatting about little jimmy getting their bronze swimming award or whatever you have to think it is more about the parents a lot of the time.

Of course there is also the thing of the dc complaining loudly but love it when they get there and those who complain so don't go but then complain about not going!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 03/11/2010 00:35

ForMash- my sentiments exactly! ( although I have a slightly odd mental image of your dd slowly growing in a box in the hall )

Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:36

yeah, i actually had lots of after school activities myself but not until i was older and able to express a real desire...

ooh you've made me feel much better, mashy

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Original poster

blinks · 03/11/2010 00:37

childhood flashback- i was cruelly ejected from the brownies.

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ForMashGetSmash · 03/11/2010 07:41

Jooly

Sibble · 03/11/2010 07:58

I'm with Jooly on this one ds1 didn't do activities at 5 as ds2 was a baby and it was too hard. Ds2 though (there's a 4 1/2 year age gap) does alot of after school activities as we are out anyway with ds1 who I don't want to miss out. So circumstances do come into it as well as the individual child.

Oldjolyon · 03/11/2010 20:44

I'm with whyhave pets... Its about what is right for your child, what other children do is totally irrelevant.

At 5, my DD would go to school all day, go to an 1.5 hour gymnastics lesson, and still come home and bounce on the trampoline for half and hour to get rid of her excess energy. Not surprising then, that she is now in the gymnastics squad and does 6 1/2 hours a week (two after school sessions and saturday mornings). Yet, still she is not tired out!

In the summer, she practically lives outdoors - riding her bike, calling for friends, making dens and the like. She spends all her time playing outside in the street and is never bored or asks 'what next'. In the winter when she can't do out to play so much, she really struggles with being so couped up at home. But that is her.

DD2 has far less energy, and when she starts school next year, I will be cutting back on a lot of things that she does and will let her do one after school activity maximum. She gets tired out far more easily and just does not have the energy that DD1 has got. Its about what is right for the individual child.

readywithwellies · 03/11/2010 21:29

My ds, age 5 has a swimming lesson once a week, thats it. My dd, 3, does nothing, nursery is enough

LelloLorry · 03/11/2010 21:37

YANBU.
A weekend activity might be a good basis for future afterschool things, though. Such as a weekend/weekday swimming lesson, or ballet or...anything.

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