for thinking that a pupil should be told off for this?

[autumnmummy]

DS's (8) school had an open day today.

His behaviour at school and home hasn't been great of late so I made the effort to go along to see his classroom in action.

His teacher was nice. She didn't mention his recent bad behaviour until I brought it up but even then didn't seem particularly concerned.

While I was there I witnessed my DS doing 2 things which I was very shocked he didn't get told off for. Firstly he continued speaking whilst the teacher was addressing the class. When I told him to stop he shrugged and carried on as if this wasn't a problem. The teacher was c.3feet away so definately heard him but didn't say/do anything.

Secondly, when we were at the other side of the classroom, probably out of the teacher's line of sight he kicked a chair a couple of feet until it banged against a table. It didn't hit any other children but they were standing close to it and could have been hurt. None of the children made an attempt to tell the teacher what he'd done. They seemed to think it was normal behaviour.
Is it typical that this kind of thing happens in a classroom with the teacher none the wiser?

I already had my doubts about the level of the discipline at the school. Is letting children get away with these kind of misdemeanors normal? Would other teachers at other schools have punished a child for this? Should I be looking for another school?

Needless to say he's had quite a telling off by me for the events of the day.

It is difficult for a teacher to tell off pupils when their parents are present.

Poor behaviour is not down to the teachers, it is down to the parents - you need to look closer to home in terms of discipline, I'm afraid.

I agree with scurry

agree with scurry.

your son doesn't seem to have respect for you let alone his teacher. i think you need a crackdown at home. i would be mortified if my sone shrugged me off like that. what did you do when he did it?

He is disciplined at home!

I was mortified. I told him to apologise for being so rude. He is having one of his privileges taken away tonight because of his behaviour at school, so don't tell me to 'look closer to home'. He gets punished for bad behaviour at home. I expect the same standards at school.

YANBU... Whilst it's right to say that you need to ramp up the discipline at home, there should be some follow-through in the classroom. Teachers can't pick up on every little misdemeanour that goes on (you're going to be more conscious of what your son is doing simply because he's your son) but they usually wouldn't tolerate children talking when they are speaking to the class. It's probably worth asking the teacher how she approaches discipline.

OP-you put that his behaviour hasn´t been great at school or home lately.

Perhaps he was showing off because you were there.

Sorry but you did ask!

At his age, the biggest influence on him will be from the family.

agree with chil. i think it's worth speaking to the teacher. did you feel she was generally abit oblivious wrt the rest of teh pupils or jsut your son? if teh latter then it could have been a case of not wanting to discipline on front of you, or it could be a case of her being used to your son being disruptive for a reaction and she is ignoring him. either way, you need to find out how she is dealing with him when you aren't there and if need be, let her know that you think she needs to step up her game.

Well, I'm going to go against the grain here. I wonder if discipline at home has been too harsh, and he was acting up in front of you to get a rise

I suspect he was showing off for your benefit, and she ignored him so he didn't get too much attention.

Please feel free to ignore if this is off-beam. Just an idea

I've asked him if how he was behaving today was how he normally behaves at school. He said yes .

Booyhoo- I dont think it's just him. The discipline seems quite lax in general.

There are 2 issues really. One is why he would behave like that with his mother watching. Probably he was showing off, attention seeking, seeing what he could get away with, etc. The second is whether the teacher does anything about his behaviour if he behaves like that when you're not there. With regards to the second one, it is very, very hard for a teacher to tell off a child while their mother is there. They don't want you to think they're undermining your parenting. Good for you that you wouldn't have minded if she'd been cross with him, but there are plenty of parents who would have done. So I really wouldn't worry too much that she lets things slide while you're there - when it's just him and her she might be really strict. If you have reason to believe that she does let children get away with a lot when their parents are not there, then yes, you are right to be concerned. But a child acting up and showing off in front of his or her parents is a very different thing to a child receiving no discipline at school.

Thanks, sims. I think that's what I needed to hear.