or have I just had an unbelievable conversation with the school (primary) Welfare & Attendance Officer?

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Basically, she said the school will not send a letter home to all parents reminding them about the 48 hour rule for vomiting and/or diahorrea, because, ultimately, the external attendance & welfare inspectors will give the school a hard time for it.

Is this ridiculous or am I being unreasonable for thinking it is?

What prompted me to call the school office was standing in the playground today listening to another mum cheerfully telling me her son "must have a bug" because he threw up last night. There he was lining up to go in to class ...

Yeah, I can believe it.

Our area educational welfare officer wanted a doctor's note every single time DS was ill
Our doctor had other ideas, namely that I shouldn't be expected to take DS to the surgery if he could recover at home, that he would write no such note, that the EWO didn't know what she was on about and that I could quote him on that

Cory, if a child is behind for medical reasons there is even a case for putting them onto school action or school action plus to help them catch up. Why didn't the HT do this?

I despair when I read about these silly HTs and inspection bodies playing god like this and just hectoring the parents. Personally speaking I would be threatening legal action unless they shut up, but then I am an incredibly stroppy cow when people start trying to manipulate my family and its emotions for their own ends or ego.

Cory - I am so sorry that you have had to put up with this! Its shameful.

BoffinMum Tue 02-Nov-10 20:46:18
"Cory, if a child is behind for medical reasons there is even a case for putting them onto school action or school action plus to help them catch up. Why didn't the HT do this?"

Dd was not behind. She was still in top set for everything and in Yr 9 is predicted As at GCSE in pretty well every subject despite missing about 1/3 of every school year for the last 5 years. She is intelligent and works hard to catch up.

But to her head teacher, this was not a redeeming feature, as his attendance record was the thing that stood between him and an Ofsted Outstanding. If her hard work did not improve the attendace record it was no good to him. So he wanted her gone from the school. He even suggested that maybe she would be better off in a special school as she was disabled: all the local special school cater for learning disabilities only.

We were getting ready to sue when he announced his early retirement. The one they have now (and that ds has to cope with) is not as bad- but I am keeping a beady eye on those school reports. I will not have him go up to secondary with a report that suggests he has been playing truant.

Cory that's awful! Thank christ he's buggered off into early retirement- I'd imagine he was "pushed" by his board of governors into it, no? I can't stand HT who have more of an eye on the glory of their careers than on the wellbeing of their pupils.

No, he retired for health reasons. The board of governors were far too in awe of him to ever question his decisions. As were the teachers. And he was ex-Ofsted, so they weren't going to complain about him either.

Well surely this would backfire on them anyway if they do not enforce the rule the sickness bug will be passed round and more children will be off. Is it any wonder that the norovirus is so rife when idiots send their kids to school when "they have been sick in the night".

I understand how frustrating it is when you have a genuine reason, but you are the good ones! Working in the pastoral system in schools I can tell you that there are a surprising number of parents who seem to collude in having their children at home (sometimes it's a case of Mum needing company or childcare for the younger ones). Sometimes it's a cover for abuse (don't send the child in with bruises)...we have to be vigilant but hopefully use common sense too.

However I think there are a lot of schools that seem unreasonable. Your child needs to be at school 92% of the time legally, so don't worry too much over a day here and there. It's also standard practice to send letters out to families when attendance drops below a certain percentage.

The best thing to do is keep an open line of communication with the school and hope that they will trust you and your decisions.....

This has got me thinking now. DS1 has always been sick when he has a cold as he coughs and coughs until he is sick but I know it is not a D&V bug. It usually happens in the middle of the night (I assume because he is laid on his back and the phlegm accumulates in his throat/chest) but today, it happened in the playground and he got sent home from school.

They did not mention him not being able to go to school tomorrow...and I know it is not a D&V bug but due to his cold (which isn't a serious cold as he is not really poorly iyswim) so I intend to send him to school tomorrow.

Is this wrong then?

And what if they don't, tummy? My dd was completely shattered by the time she got to secondary school, after years of not being believed despite all our efforts to communicate. She started self-harming and school refusing and even thinking about suicide, because she was too frightened at the thought of spending her days in an environment where people did not believe her when she said she was in pain. The secondary has been wonderful, but it has taken them two years to turn things round and dd is still under CAHMS for emotional trauma.
And when ds was diagnosed with the same painful disorder, his first reaction was "will they be angry with me?"- he meant his school.

Under those circumstances it's not much of a consolation to know we are the good ones.

I have been told by health professionals that they see a disproportionate number of disabled/chronically ill children with emotional problems from this particular junior school.

But it is generally considered a good school- by parents who do not have chronically ill or disabled children- and the former head is much admired for his work in moving the school up the league tables.

Cory that sounds awful.

My DS1 and DS2 were at a primary school that was very unsympathetic about their SN and they did very badly there. We moved DS2 after DS1 went up to secondary school (where he is doing much better, by the way) and DS2 is now catching up very rapidly too. Yet this school keeps doing well when it's inspected. We later found out lots of other SN kids had left as well when we did, and that it had a reputation with local health and education professionals for dumping SN kids whenever it could. It's terrible when schools can behave in such a cavalier manner with children and young people.

cory I'm not sure I follow - did the school give you or your DD a hard time, or both? Or was it a case of her not being allowed to go to the medical room if she fell ill at school? I would have words with any teacher who gave my child a hard time about time off (especially in primary). Otherwise, does she have to know that the school doubted you?

I would send my kids in if I thought they could manage the day. If not, I wouldn't. I would ring and leave a message on the answerphone and send a note in when they went back to school. Develop a good relationship with the Year co-ordinator in secondary or teacher in primary. Make an appointment to see them if necessary (and before they ask to see you!) and let them see you that you are not a loony and you are serious about getting your child in to school when possible.

sorry Cory it does sound horrific. Your poor DD. That should never have happened. Is it something that is diagnosable then? Your DD and DS should be on the SEN register for illness and teachers informed. Also, the local borough should have someone (every borough is a bit different but someone by the title of Inclusion Officer or Physcial Disability Officer or something) who will defend the rights of your DD and DS with the school, if the school get arsy about attendance.

Is the CAMHS working out for your DD?

48 hours after vomiting

surely it's 24 hours and 48 hours is excessive

children who vomit through travel sickness or anxiety should not be excluded but should go straight in

I think a lot medically would probably depend on whether it's a virus, food poisoning, or some other reason, how long children should be excluded. But schools are trying to get it all under the same umbrella (excuse the metaphor!)

Both. They often refused to ring me when she was in severe pain or ill. Once they did ring, but when I got up there I was met by the secretary who gave me a long rant about how she did not believe dd was really ill at all- all very loudly and in dd's hearing (she had an ear infection and a high temperature). But of course, their story was that they never noticed dd having episodes in school.

When the paed came to the school and explained about dd's extremely painful chronic condition (3 years after she had first explained it in writing), the only question put to her by the school was "how can we know she is really in pain?". In other words, yes, you have explained that this condition causes severe pain, but we still think she could be lying through her teeth- how do we know?

They refused to let her use the disabled toilet though she was in a wheelchair - she had to crawl on her hands and knees to use the ordinary toilet. When she was unable to make her way up the stairs to access her maths class, they left her sitting in a classroom alone doing worksheets, instead of either moving the sets round so her set was on floor level or letting her change sets. When we complained, the explanation given was that dd "refused to go upstairs" (she was in a bloody wheelchair!).

So yes, dd definitely knew what they thought. And had to sit through interminable lectures on attendance. And noticed when the Head sent Social Services round. And of course, she read her own report card.

Throughout those years, I (and dh) did everything in our power to make the school see I was not a loony. We attended innumerable meetings, we sent in every scrap of medical evidence, we arranged for the paed and the OT to visit the school, we rang the school office every morning for an update when dd was off, we did everything in our power to make sure she was not behind in her education. But we could not give the Head the one thing he wanted: a perfect attendance record. So he wanted us out.

Perhaps we should have moved her. But I really did not see why she should have to move from her local school, away from all her friends, when she had done nothing wrong.

NHS also states 48 hours

I am very strict on keeping DD off nursery until 48h symptom free. Not least because you think they are over it and then there's more!

However I would not keep off if I knew they coughed until they vomited - but then if they had such a bad cough they would probably be off with it anyway.

I always keep mine off 48hrs after d/v. It makes me so mad when people send their kids in early. The worst was when, after DC1 and DC2 were having their 3rd nasty bout of d + v one year and my friend, whose child's "cough" sickness had passed it on the first two times, remarked that my kids seemed to be getting ill a lot!!!