To be realy irritated by this

[ray81]

Ok so i probably ABU, I get realy irriated by people that make excuses for their babies/toddlers when they are miserable.

To give examples my sister has 2 DCs and one is a miserable grumpy little so and so but she will always make excuses for him, such as "he has a cold, is teething, didnt get much sleep " etc etc.
I also have a friend that does this with her DD who is the same, although her DD screams at the top her lungs when she doest get her own way, you know the type of scream that goes through you. I speak to this friend on the phone pretty much every day and every day she makes excuses and it is something different everyday i cannot beleive i child could be so poorly.

Why oh why can't they just say "you know what they are just being miserable today" Even as adults we sometimes have bad moods for no reason and i dont understand why they cannot accept theat their children are just miserable sometimes without there being a reason.

I know IABU because i have had lack of sleep due to DD being up half the night. Nothing wrong with her just being a madam!!! Spoke to my friend tis morning and she made another excuse for her DD and i just wanted to say "No she is just a grumpy baby thats all"

Come and tell me i shouldnt get irritated but such small things and put me in my place.

If we didn't think there were reasons for grumpiness and maintain a blind optimism that things were going to change, we would all murder our offspring.

but you're doing the same thing when you say "IABU because i have had lack of sleep due to DD being up half the night"

if you can make an excuse for your grumpiness then they can make excuses for their baby

Nice one Hully!

you know you shouldn't get irritated and yes, it is a small thing.

but, YANBU because I totally agree with you. If they're in a grump they're in a grump and whilst it may be because they have a cold or whatever, it's also possible that they're just grumply little so and sos.

YANBU - It annoys me too!!! I know that sometimes my 2 are worse than usual when they are teething/ill/etc - but there are many, many times they are being just pain in the butts.

I do get some surprised looks from mums when my response to 'what's wrong with them' is 'He's 3 and very good at it!' with a note of frustration in my voice!!!!

I think people don't want to face that their child is just a grumpy child. There is usually a reason behind it though.

Surely toddlers are not that grumpy for ne reason at all? I know it doesn't take much for them to be grumpy sometimes but aren't children (that are well cared for etc) generally pretty happy?

Saying that, my friends nephew is a bit of a 'drip'.

I take mine back, just being between 2 and 3 is enough of a reason actually, and one I use frequently!

I am not really a great fan of OPC ( other people's children) in general, but the grumpy whiney ones really do my head in. My DS's can be little toads too but they are mine so it's part of the deal. But YANBU the only thing worse than grumpy miserable children are the parents who constantly feel the need to explain it away. No your children are just grumpy and as long as it isn't every day all day then that's ok

I don't mind grumpiness being attributed to tiredness (often quite accurately) but what I do mind is when appalling behaviour is casually dismissed or even treated as an endearing character trait. "Whacking you painfully round the legs with a broom handle is just his way of showing affection isn't it darling?.... aawww" etc.

Muddleduck but usualy i am a happy person and when i am grumpy it is for a reason.

However the 2 children above are ALWAYS grumpy/crying/screaming since they were very little i dont get why their parents cannot admit they are just grumpy children and will probably grow out of it.

My DD1 who i 8 cried ALOT when she was a toddler at the smallest thing and you know what she is a drama queen even if i tell her off for something small she will make a hughe deal of it like the world is about to end. i admit what she is like to others i accept her how she is and dont make excuses for her unless she is realy ill/poorly.

If DD2 who is 5 months is being grumpy and there is clearly nothing wrong with her i admitt this and i do get some puzzled looksfrom my friends at times.
I know i ABU but just one of my pet hates i suppose

DD has a very sunny nature but she does get grumpy - and 99.9% of the time there is a reason that I as the person who spends the most time with her knows - she is tired usually. How do you feel when you have a toothache? Well do you really think babies feel any better when they are teething?

Babies might not be able to communicate as effectively as adults or older kids - doesn't mean they don't have a wide range of emotions and reactions to pain, tiredness & being uncomfortable.

Of course, some kids are just grumpy by nature as are some adults. Why would it make you feel better for the parents to be constantly 'confessing' I have grumpy children?

I suppose it wouldnt make me feel better i would be less irritated by their excuses.

Sometimes i think people with grumpy children are afraid to admitt it bacuse perhaps they think it makes them bad parents. It doesnt of course its just their childs nature.

I understand those children that are happy most of the time have something wrong with them when they are grumpy and of course the parents will say why. But the children i am talking about are ALWAYS grumpy and their parents just wont admitt they are grumpy children.

Anyway off for my smear another reasonwhy i am grumpy today and not my usual happy self.

I feel that generally when a child is particularly demanding it has often been encouraged to be so by parenting style... A child that learns it can get it's demands meant by screaming or kicking is often reacting to positive reinforcement of it's 'naughty' behaviour [I am not speaking of autistic or SN children by the way which I understand is completely different].

I have a good friend who has a 2 and a half year old who is imo excessively demanding of her time and attention. If I am at her home visting he interrupts our conversation constantly and kicks up an almighty fuss if he isn't attended to immediately. However my friend 'rewards' his behaviour by breaking off speaking with me mid-sentence and giving him her full attention, even if what he wants is not vital to his well-being in any way at this time. And she will give him chocolate to keep him quiet but after he has started kicking off

I know he is at the 'terrible two' stage but to be honest he has always been like this. Meanwhile my 18 month old looks on the histrionics in a rather bemused way. He doesn't get his every whim jumped upon by me and if he fusses for something I know that he really needs it, ie is hungry or uncomfortable.

It is a bit of a shame as I find I don't want to visit this friend too often as her son is exhausting and I find that the whole time everything revolves around him as my friend tries to pre-empt his rages. And she also often says oh he has a cold or hasn't slept, that is why he is a little grumpy...