to think its not natural for a 17yo and a 13 yo to have a fight

[kikoline]

My dsis (17) and dbro (13) had a big fallout yesterday and it ended in blows. Dsis has a face that is black and blue and db is also carrying a beautiful black eye and lost a couple of teeth (although the emergency dentist put them back in). They've kissed and made up but I was talking to my mum and she just laughed it off and said its was normal sibling behaviour.

I'm 11 years older than dsis and so we never really fought. AIBU to think that this level of violence isn't normal between siblings particulary when they are this age.

Arguments are normal but knocking out a tooth! A blackeye! Sorry but definately isn't normal

She actually knocked out his teeth?! Bloody hell, that's not normal at all!

My friends used to fight like this but they were two boys with a year between them. Their mam always used to stop them to. I would still say that is not normal at all.

i have siblings with a similar age gap.

if it was the boy that is older then i would say no. but because she is a girl i think that yes it is probably quite common.

Well my younger two DCs are the same ages and they don't physically fight at all. If there is any falling out it would be verbal. I would be absolutely horrified if they inflicted that level of violence on each other.

Actually it is. two teens full of hormones = fisticuffs and I can quite see it getting out of control.

which is where the parents step in and stop it! Couple of thumps is unavoidable but punching to the point of losing teeth is shocking! Where were the parents when these kids were punching each others faces in?

No it isn't. Your mother's attitude is alarming.

That is not normal behaviour at all....they need some assistance.

Apparently they were upstairs and my mum was downstairs so she didn't hear them at first although she did eventually stop it.

This is still domestic violence....is your mum scared of them both?

No my mum isn't scared of them, she's 6ft tall and used to be in the army.

I do think that fighting to the point of ABH is rather worrying though.

loss of teeth isn't a typical sibling fall out.

not normal at all

Why does she allow this then.....it is not normal to cause injury. (not sure height has much to do with it!)

She says she didn't hear them fighting at first and when she did hear them and intervened to stop them the damage had already been done.

I was coming on to say not to be so silly - there are seven years between my dsis and I and though she was the littlie, she used to bruise me up and down my legs by pummelling on me with every last bit of strength she had. In turn, once I threw a book at her in anger . We are best of friends now!

Black eyes and toothlessness is a very different level of violence, though.

YANBU I fought with my 2 sisters when we were growing up but not to this degree.

A boy I teach was in college today, covered in bruises. He said his girlfriend batters him. He laughed when he was saying it, but those bruises were all over his arms and face and must have hurt. I was worried, too, about him retaliating and getting into trouble.

Not normal, DM desensitized by military background ?
Is DF military/police ?

Sex aside she is 4 years older and nearly a woman! A 17 year old girl is made to have babies already...she is much more mature in many ways! A 13 year old boy may be tough but its not on! It's not normal and not ok!

My older DS has a big keloid scar on her upper left arm after I bit her during a fight, just after I'd chased her round our dining table with a carving knife I'd swiped from the kitchen. We were both 11 and 10yo respectively.

Does it help if I say that, just before I bit her, she'd used my head as a battering ram on our DM's dressing table and had flung a platform shoe (DM's, obviously) at my nose so hard that it bled for half an hour afterward?

So far, we're both still alive and [shock, horror!] even get on with each other. Not to say that that level of violence ought to be considered normal, but referring to it as "domestic violence" is perhaps a tad dramatic, especially if they've already made up? As long as your DM had words with them and they both got punished for their behaviour, I don't really see what else needs doing (unless of course this is weekly behaviour!).

All siblings fight but this does seem extremely violent. Still if they've made up and have been punished then theres not much else you can do.

friends DD's fight like this, 5&6, she lets them get on with it