This Woman! ARRRRGH!

[Mammie81]

Ive had SPD throughout this pregnancy (nearly the end!!!) I commute for an hour each way and I dont always get a seat so it does flare up quite badly from time to time. Ive had a few days off with the SPD and I have one morning a week at physio. This woman is not a line manager but is in the group I report to, so its in her diary, she knows.

She just asked me to come up to her desk with her for something (2 flights of stairs). I asked if she minded if we get the lift, stairs arent my friend.

Is "oh come on mammie, its just pregnancy, dont be so lazy, you can walk upstairs" really the response you would expect from someone on the management team??? I feel like kicking her in the fanjo so she knows what I feel like every day!

Greythorne, it's symphysis pubis dysfunction. Basically means your pelvic ligaments are buggered and not holding your pelvis together (mainly at the front joint). V painful indeed.

Worst thing is that we work in a clinical office. Shes has a Phd in Applied Biology! You would assume she knew something about pregnancy being pants for some women and not for others!

greythorne - SPD is symphysis pubis dysfunction aka excruciating pain in your pubic bone that makes it very hard/impossible to walk.

I had this after DS and it was far worse than labour!

I had terrible pubic pain too

I think most people who haven't had SPD do not realise just what it's like. (I have. It's quite horrific, isn't it.)

Mammie It's not too late - you have no idea what might happen while you're off on maternity leave (I am the person with the bullying during pregnancy thread) so please keep notes of incidents - get a cheapy diary for the purpose or use your own diary or send yourself an email. I did keep notes but even then I discovered my line manager has gone ahead and binned all my files and just after I went on maternity leave a restructuring was announced and quelle surprise - i have been hugely demoted or I can take redundancy which is worth f.a. It was what she always intended but even then I still didn't see it coming - I was always terrified of covering my back because I thought she was going to try and find some way to have me up on a disciplinary - didn't occur to me she would be getting rid of me in a redundancy set up.

And do have a word with your line manager about this woman before you go on maternity leave. I am not the best person to advise on this because I feel like I should have pushed harder to prevent my bully from bullying me but my bully was/is my line manager - hopefully you have an understanding line manager who can just make a note and have a word with this woman's line manager or HR so that it is nipped in the bud now. Other posters are right - I have now learnt certain people like this are insidious - I hesitate to say certain childless 'career' type women but sadly it seems they quite often have this in common - and for some reason want to take whatever their life's frustrations out are on others. Please show you are not a victim now. I have also since discovered that if you do make a complaint like this you cannot be subjected to any kind of detriment because of your complaint since this would be unlawful victimisation.

And I didn't have SPD during pregnancy but there was a lot of pubic bone aching (felt like the two halves were going to split but bizarrely worse when I was in bed and better walking hence not likely to be SPD - but ouch that was bad enough so all my sympathies for struggling on)

Mammie I had SPD through my whole pregnancy with DS (so bad I was on crutches) if one of my superiors had sad that to me I seriously would of punched her.

A collegue of mine commented to me whilst I huge, on cruches, plus having a very bad morning " for gods sake your only pregnant" I completely lost it with him in front of others, one of them made a complaint agaginst him and he was pulled in the office for making sexist comments.

I know how bad stairs are with SPD and i'm impressed you evn made it up them

There is something I really wish I'd done with my old bully boss, but didn't. I'll re-work it for your SPD. Next time she makes one of her 'morning sickness' comments, or similar, tell her - in as much gory detail as possible, very loudly, exactly what your problem is and how it feels. Make sure you do this in front of other people.

Then lodge a formal complaint with HR - you've got discrimination, invasion of privacy & lack of respect for starters

Hi can anyone or recommend a good osteopath for spd in cardiff please? Has anyone had successful treatment? Am only 13 wks! Cant face whole pregnancy like this :( x

Why would you dig up a zombie thread for a question like that?? Just start a thread!

I had a manager like this. She delighted in telling me how she'd struggled up 2 flights of stairs every day when she'd broken her leg.

Well, more fool you!!

She was also keen to tell me how both her babies were sleeping through the night by the time she got back from the hospital, and how she exclusively breastfed for a year with both

I realise this is a Zombie but Ley you need to ask for a referral to physio from your midwife, they will give you exercises that can help, a support belt when you get bigger and sticks if you need them. They should be your first port of call.

The way to deal with people like this is to lock eye contact then explain, in earnest tones and excruciating biological detail the issue. To be effective you need to be totally deadpan, hold the eye contact until they squirm and use as many slightly squeamish descriptive terms as you can.

spd is awful. I had it (and hyperemesis) and while everyone in my local office was lovely my boss (young, childless, basically a corporate robot) behaved dreadfully.

Tell her that going up stairs is a strain on the heart while going down is good exercise. She might have a PhD in a biology subject but she's quite ignorant about anything outside it. Enlighten her.

.

Why ask someone if you can get the lift? Just get it. They can join you or gallop up the stairs. Everybody happy.

Oh boo.