Is DH an arse?

[TheNextMrsDracula]

Just got back from a Halloween party, with three very tired and emotional dcs. All hands on deck to get teeth cleaned, into PJs and into bed before one/all of them has a total meltdown.

But where's DH? He's gone to phone his dad. Now I love PIL, and it is his birthday, but he's a pretty nocturnal fellow, and will be up for hours yet.

Why would DH not wait 10 minutes, and get the DCs into bed, before embarking on a long chat with his dad?? I'm running around like a blue-arsed fly, making up dd1's bed, trying to find dd2's PJs, and trying to drag ds out of bed to do his teeth before crashing out, and all I can hear is "oh yes, and how's aunty pat? Blah blah" from the living room. AAARGH! AIBU??

He's either been thoughtless and has dsiplayed the usual tunnel-vision that dhs sometimes do, in that they think of something they need to do and the whole world could be crumbling before it distracts them...

or he's doing it on purpose to avoid the bedtime palarva.

In both cases yes he's beng an arse but one slightly worse than the other. I take you'll point this out to him though and not just sigh and get in a mood? Direct action was how I cured my dh

Oh, I pointed it out alright!!

YANBU

Is this not world of wife? Put them to bed and then go to next doors party (what? sorry you were on the phone ..I did try and tell you,byeee...)

I would have gone in (politely and pleasantly) and interrupted calmly. I would have asked if he could limit the call to a few minutes and call back later if he wanted to continue.

(and I would be happy for him to do the same to me, as long as the manner/attitude wasn't stroppy or unpleasant)

If it'd been three or four hours with you struggling with the DC while he went down the pub then I could see what you mean, but it was only another 10 mins so not that bad in the scheme of things.

Get your feet up and be relieved it's all over, that is until the horrors of Christmas

It was more to do with the timing - he only had to wait 5 MINUTES then the coast would've been clear!

Tunnel vision is about right.

I couldn't POSSIBLY interrupt a conversation with his family, though. Unless the house were burning down.

Actually, I'm starting to cool down now....(out with anger....in with love....breathe....breathe....)

yasnbu!!

whoate i see your point about it only being ten minutes but in that case why couldn't the DH wait the ten minutes (possible reduce the time if he was helping out) and then phone his dad. surely his phonecall wasn't that urgent that he couldn't hold off for ten minutes? i think he was being thoughtless.

YANBU. But your DH probably just didn't think. I'd like to think he didn't do it deliberately, but I can see my DH doing exactly this kind of thing. Think of a way he can make it up to you and make sure it happens!

Just typical male lack of thought. My dds wanted to go out trick n treating tonite. I wanted to get on with tea when we returned from DD1's rugby game. DH decides its time to create chaos in the kitchen by drilling holes in wall so he can move supports to hold new microwave. Cue tea delayed by half an hour, wingy 4 year old waiting for tea, late trick n treating and very tired 4 year at bed time.

no patchy, just lack of thought. many males are capable of connecting their thoughts in a way that ensures normal daily life continues where there is lack of female presence. being male is not an excuse for this. being thoughtless is his problem, not a male problem.

Does he do it all the time? Bit harsh on him if not; it's nice he thought to call his dad on his birthday, no?

Couldn't he have 'phoned his Dad earlier in the day?
Half 10 (at night)is pretty late to be ringing up to say 'happy birthday'.

He's probably just really, really, really thoughtless. Maybe a heads up call from you on your way home would have warned him to be ready? It's annoying to have to spell things out though. Really, really, really annoying.