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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be worried about 14 year old going to a rock concert?

22 replies

Cushionface · 31/10/2010 22:23

I agreed some months ago that my 14 year old daughter could go to a concert with some friends. Now it's nearly time for her to go, I am really anxious about them travelling home on public transport after 10 on a Sat night from the O2 to the suburbs.There are a couple of older teenagers going but they are friends of her friends and I know nothing about them. Would others let a 14 year old do this?

OP posts:

WhatsThatDuckDoingThere · 31/10/2010 22:25

I'd probably let her go, but I'd be picking her up rather than letting her use the bus.

cyb · 31/10/2010 22:26

I would meet her

Original poster

Cushionface · 31/10/2010 22:29

Thanks for quick replies. I had considered that but thought that asking her to leave her friends to find me at the end of a massive concert with 1000's of people milling around might not be a good idea either.

OP posts:

WhyHavePets · 31/10/2010 22:30

I would meet her tbh.

WhyHavePets · 31/10/2010 22:31

Can't her friends walk with her to meet you too? I would expect my dd's friends to do that - they have all been told my golden rule, no-one gets left alone ever for any reason ever, never

WhatsThatDuckDoingThere · 31/10/2010 22:31

If you arrange to meet her a couple of streets away (she has a phone, I assume?) the crowd shouldn't be too much of a problem. If her friends live within a reasonable distance from your place, perhaps you could give a couple of them a lift home too, that way you won't be separating them too soon when they're still excited.

WhatsThatDuckDoingThere · 31/10/2010 22:33

Also, I find that giving them lifts in groups is one of the best ways of finding out more of what they've been up to. They gossip loudly in the back of the car, it's like I'm not even there Just this evening I have gleaned a LOT of info about dd's latest love interest by acting as the silent chauffeur.

ratspeaker · 31/10/2010 22:33

Yes

been there
done it

have you talked to the parents of the others going?
Could you arrange to meet/pick them up?
are any of the other parents thinking about meeting up with the kids?

If they are sticking together as a group then there;s the old safety in numbers thing

Minx179 · 31/10/2010 22:33

My ds was 15 when I let him go to London for his first concern on his own. 16 for his first festival.

I was worried sick the whole time he was there (1st time on tube 'alone' etc as well), 3 years later and I still worry when he goes off to concerts/festivals.

If your ds and her friends are sensible then they should be ok. Though you may not know the older teens you'll probably find they are ok as well. Similar situation with my ds the older teens looked after/directed those younger.

Get her to phone/text you so you know they are there, leaving, at station etc, she'll will moan but it helps to keep your mind at rest.

You must have trusted she would be ok to have agreed to her going in the first place. Do you still trust those instincts? If so it's probably natural worrying.

sonotboden · 31/10/2010 22:35

if she and her friends are sensible and have phones, i would let her. does she know which bus to get/where from etc?

if she does, just ask her to text you as she leaves the venue and when she gets on the bus/tube so you know when to meet her. make sure she and mates agree where to meet if they get seperated- Starbucks or somewhere-

hard isnt it though?

oh, other top tip- get the mobile numbers of the friends she is going with- just in case she runs out of battery (from taking 500 identical pics of her and her friends with their hair over their face)

Original poster

Cushionface · 31/10/2010 22:40

I really appreciate help - I had suggested to other parents that we would arrange for them all to go and come back in car, but they didn't want to. I had thought all along that we would be there to bring her home but then got anxious about finding her. I think asking her friends to make sure she's with us before they go is very sensible...why didn't I think of that?

OP posts:

GetOrfMoiLand · 31/10/2010 22:47

DD is going to her fisrt concert in 2 weeks - Paramore at the NEC.

I live an hour away and am driving four shrieking teenage girls to Birmingham, and am waiting in the car for them for the duration of the concert.

What am I goinmg to do for 3 or so hours at the NEC car park? How drunk was I to offer to do this when she asked me 6 months ago?

Bloody kids.

cat64 · 31/10/2010 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Heracles · 01/11/2010 00:37

What gig is/was it?

Concordia · 01/11/2010 00:40

i remember my parents letting me to go a gig at wembley stadium when i was 15 (it is now 21 years ago )
my dad got me to walk to some street and met me there. i think i was with one friend.
it would be even easier to do this these days with mobile phones.
i'm sure they'll be fine but i would meet them.

MichaelaS · 01/11/2010 01:24

The O2 is a driving nightmare, you wont get anywhere near it with a car at kicking out time.

but you could get her to catch the tube 1 stop away to canary wharf where you,ll be able to park, or somewhere else convenient on the jubilee line.

good luck!

emptyshell · 01/11/2010 08:03

I used to go to concerts aged about 13+. Would get dropped off by one of the parents there, would get picked up at an agreed point at kicking out time. Was never a problem and I got to feed my utter Marti Pellow infatuation on a regular basis! They just always pointed out a landmark when they dropped me off that they'd pick me back up at.

Also got trusted to go to Monsters of Rock about 15 years old - on one of those coach travel deals.

I really appreciated being trusted with the independence to be allowed to go. Would have prob been allowed to go on public transport if the concerts weren't in the arse end of nowhere (Whitley Bay Ice Rink how we miss thee), but I was a very savvy teenager who'd been getting buses around unaccompanied for years by that point!

Scaredandalone · 01/11/2010 08:39

What about them getting a minibus between them? that way all the girls get straight on from the door your dd can txt when she is on the bus?

TheEvilDead2 · 01/11/2010 08:47

Think scaredandalones idea is a good one.

Guacamole · 01/11/2010 08:55

When I was around 14-15 (in boarding school in Singapore) I went to see Metallica (it was the first time a heavy metal band were allowed to perform in the country). I forged the letter from my parents to say I could go (lots of us did) and had an amazing time (although I was deaf for about a week).

She will have an amazing time, but for your own piece of mind arrange transportation for her or pick her up yourself, the o2 can be a bugger to get out of!

fsmail · 01/11/2010 08:56

I started going to concerts from 14 but my parents always picked me up or I went with my older sister so let her go.

Original poster

Cushionface · 01/11/2010 12:18

Sorry. Have been away from the computer. I had organised minibus for them, but the rest of the group (friends of daughter's friend) didn't want to. Think will let her travel up with them,and we will now take taxi to o2 (both hate driving) have meal and bring her home with us. It's expensive but hopefully will bring peace of mind.Just like GetOrfMoiLand, I wish I'd not said yes in first place but we all try too hard to keep kids happy. I would like to think I've learnt a lesson, tho I'm sure another similar situation will soon arise. It seems with teenagers, there's always a new set of obstacles to be negotiated.

OP posts:

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