to think three's a crowd?

[Frazzledmumwithsmudgedmascara]

Does anyone else find that if there is 3 in a group of friends for example on a night out or taking the kids to soft play, that they always are the one that is left out?

I am getting to the stage where I am only going to see friends on a one-to-one basis or in a big group, as it's happened to me twice recently. The most recent was yesterday; I met up with a friend who lives in another town, that I don't see very often. She brought along a friend whom I hadn't met before, but they see each other every day and so of course have a lot in common and know a lot about each other. I ended up totally left out all day, with them walking along together chatting away about plans for next week, and people they both know, whilst I tagged along behind them. In shops they both knew what the other was looking for and were constantly looking for things for each other and just ignored me. We even went into one big shop and my friend said "we'll go off for a bit and come and find you in a bit then" and off they went. It wasn't that bad and they did chat to me at some points but it just seemed that 3 was a crowd.

In the summer holidays I met 2 friends at a soft play place; these were friends I met online and have met before, but they see far more of each other than they do me, as I live further away, and I had to travel quite a distance to see them. And they were the same; chatting away to each other, ignoring me and my children. They even all sat round one table together to eat lunch whilst my kids and I sat at another. They were constantly holding each others' little ones, getting drinks for each other and chatting away, but would keep putting their backs to me and basically leaving me out of the conversation.

Has anyone else found themselves in those situations? And what do you do? DP said I should have just gone home both times as soon as it started happening, but I personally don't think any of them did it maliciously or out of dislike for me, it just sort of happened as they each see the other person more than they see me. I am just coming to the conclusion that 3 is a crowd and it doesn't work out. I'm quite a chatty, confident person but it has seemed on these occasions no matter how hard I try to chat and be part of it, I'm just not really part of it.

It really depends on the group of three. If all three know each other really well, it works, but any other mix ends up as you describe.

It annoys the heck out of me if I've arranged to meet someone and they arrive with another friend, so I feel like a spare part, so I can see where you're coming from.

TBH, it just sounds like your friends aren't very nice. Awful behaviour in both cases.
I have been in groups of three many times and not had this happen...well not since the age of 14 anyway.

it sounds like your friends have been really rude, how can they not realise that is a rude way to behave? if they want to talk only to each other then go as a two, but if three people are there u include everyone - basic manners. i dont think that is the norm of going out in threes, but sounds like because u have been out with a close 2 both times and you know them less, they have just left you out, but i go with 3s and its not like that. i think it really does depend on the group.
i especially think its rude that your friend brought a friend that you did not even know then went on to ignore you, why on earth could she not just meet that friend on another day if gonna be like that

I would never act like that, nor would I tolerate friends who did, so I don't have an opinion really

:( I've been in a situation like this. It just made me realise they aren't good friends. It is hard and makes you feel like a young teen at a new school.

That sounds horrible. I wouldn't meet up with them again. What a socially dysfunctional pair. Be done with them, move on - unless of course, your children play really well with theirs - do they then you could just make sure its a group of 4 or as you say, one on one.

Yeah the kids all get on pretty well anonymosity. I just can't understand their sheer rudeness TBH; if I felt one person was talking to me more than they were the other, I'd make a massive effort to include the third person and ensure they weren't left out, even if I'd never met them before.

I like the all of these "friends" individually but will make a point of never meeting up with them as part of a group of 3 again.

Just had a text from my friend from Saturday saying what a great time she had. Glad someone had a good time then

I think your friends have been incredibly thoughtless and rude, so would be avoiding days out with them in future. Not sure if it is typical behaviour for groups of 3s though