To not want to distribute my wedding pics to family members?

[Broomsweeptheroom]

Dp and I got married when I was 38 weeks pregnant. We are both in our mid thirties. We have been together for 14 years and neither of us had given any thought to marriage, we were happy as we were.

Whne we found out I was pg, we decided to get married really for the formality of it rather than love iyswim. We decided to have a registry office ceremony with 2 witnesses, a couple whom we have been friends with for many years.

We told our parents, mine were cool about it but dp's were not happy and we ended up inviting immediate family only on both sides so as not to upset dp's mum.

Fast forward 6 months and mil keeps badgering me to email pics of the day to her family who live up north and overseas.

On the day, I requested no filming but fil went ahead and filmed the entire thing. I looked hideous. I was unable to wear any make up in the last trimester as I was sensitive to anything synthetic and came out in a rash. I was fat as hell and I blubbed throughout the entire ceremony because I felt so shit. I was wearing a £39 tent from mothercare ffs.

I want no one to see these pictures. Aibu? I told mil that we would have another celebration next year which they can film to their hearts content but I have insisted that these pics dont get distributed. She has got the hump now and says I am being rude and selfish.

hehe classic MN, I misread the OP too and didn't see they actually ended up going, sorry OP

Leave him the twat...I mean tell her to fuck off...or something...

FairhairedandFrustrated I read the op correctly the first time thank

Just to reiterate, I would be upset if I had to insist on being at Dss wedding. I would hope that I am a big enough part of his life that I would be welcome.

thank you

Yes, sorry - I was just thinking aloud really.....I know the in-laws were there but I was just imagining my little boy, the one I gave birth to, nurtured, consoled, shared triumphs and set-backs with....well, just not really wanting me there on that one day.....

....and then not being allowed to share that one day, any part of it, with my brothers and any other family.

Just seemed a bit sad.

I get the OP's reluctance, I really do. She felt like hell and feels she looked like hell, but to me - you'd be the very special girl that my lovely DS had chosen and if he thinks you're good enough to marry, then why shouldn't his mum, who loves him and all that....

Oh, never mind....

Just how I feel Doodlez, succinctly put

I can't believe you didn't think of this tbh. No matter how casual the day, did you really think that no one would want to see photos? My graduation photos were crap to the point of my own mother trying to get me to hire the get up again to pose for a new one. Everyone still wanted to see them. I think you're being a bit precious, they're only photos, who cares if they see them.

YANBU - if it were a big, white wedding with a blushing bride and formal photos - you would be expected to share the photos, but it was not. If you offered to have a big family celebration during which photos can be taken, which you've done - then that should end the question. Clearly MIL is fixating on "the day" when really she should be thinking of the circumstances and the outcome. Good luck fixing this one. I'm sure you can find a compromise.

perhaps to explain to mil that you and her had different views on the day and its role (not for photos in your case)
but if she wants a photo perhaps you coudl get some professional ones done of you DH and your new DC when you are feeling not so pregnant?! and give it to her for xmas or something?

Your photos, your choice. Easy, no?

NEXT!

I know exactly what you mean! I had a lovely dress, then returned it (for various reasons) then got a horrible trouser blouse combination. My make up was shit, my hair was shit. I felt horrible, all my photos I look massivly fat and my hair too big. But everyone wants your photos. ANd on a pretty important day in your life if you feel horrible about yourself..you just don't want to share them.

Explain it once to her like that and if she evers says anythign again about you being selfish, gently but firmly say, "no, I already told you please don't bring it up". DOn't engage with her, then the converstion ends there. Although you could mention HOW RUDE it was to film after you were asked not to!