to wonder where people who are too scared to answer the door to trick or treaters have got the idea that they are going to be mugged on their own doorstep?

[GoreRenewed]

I live in a quite gentle little town. It's not perfect and entirely crime-free, but it's not exactly Murder Central either. But I have spoken to several people this weekend who tell me that they won't open their door to trick or treaters because it's too risky. Asking for trouble. But none of them have been assaulted or robbed, and neither did they know people who had been.

DS2 and I walked up our road to see whether there were any potential trick or treatees. We have just moved in and we don't know the drill round here. No pumpkins and lots of 'bugger off TorTer' signs. And shadowy figures hovering in darkened rooms peering out at us presumably to see if we were dangerous It was like the eve of some terrible battle, not some silly festival for kids.

I have no problem with people not wanting to give to trick or treaters, it's entirely up to them and I can see it could be a pita. ANd yes, if you are elderly and frail and living alone, it could seem alarming.

But where did this automatic suspicion of strangers come from? When the evidence of most people's own experience is that strangers aren't scary and dangerous. Particularly when they are 3 ft tall and dressed as a pumpkin .

Also wanted to add we go Carol singing but NEVER accept money we just do it for fun and to brighten peoples days. Many of the neighbours, who are elderly ask us what day we are planning to come so they know to answer the door to us. It makes us feel good to put a smile on peoples faces.

Have had a lovely afternoon here! We decorated our house, carved a pumpkin, kids got dressed up. We went out as soon as it started getting dark and just knocked at houses that had lights on and curtains not shut. Some people had really gone to town and had cute Halloweeny scenes outside.

A bloke with no kids opposite had made a vomitting skull out of a pumpkin and had stuff in for the kids.

It is fun FFS!

No, that is not fun at all.

I left a bowl out and a candle. The first group of kids to visit took the lot and then tried to set fire to my little sign with the candle.

So I don't find it cute at all. I find it maladroit. Maybe in a nicer area it would be OK.

" i have an anxiety disorder i'm being medicated for atm" Me too. It'sd shit isn't it?

The point I was trying to make before the storm of angst broke over my head was that the vast majority of people (NB not all of them) have no personal experience of problems related to Halloween but they still beleive it's dangerous because we are all constantly told that is the case. Which I think is a Bad Thing.

Well we haven't had a single caller! Living two miles in each direction from any form of civilisation has it's benefits.
Ill never forget the first year we had any, I was at work. DP gave them everything! And I mean everything! All the sweets, crisps, yoghurts even individual boxes of cereal! I was NOT a happy bunny when I got home!

'The point I was trying to make before the storm of angst broke over my head was that the vast majority of people (NB not all of them) have no personal experience of problems related to Halloween but they still beleive it's dangerous because we are all constantly told that is the case. Which I think is a Bad Thing.'
Why do we have to have had bad experiences to think trick or treating is bad? There are lots of things I've never done that I wouldn't do because morally I don't agree with them.

I dislike ToT. It is open to abuse by unpleasant types.

I remember having a newborn and almost weeping because the evening was constant constant battering of the door or the bell making the dog bark and waking a baby I'd just got to sleep.

I've had a firework thrown at me and experienced egging.

So how much personal experience do you need?

I hate the night

A point that has been made before is the fact that you dont have to think it is dangerous to not partake. What evidence do you have to say they they arent celebrating because it is dangerous? have you asked them?

My dad took my kids to 3 neighbours who I knew would be expecting them- I'm quite happy to leave the ones who don't want to get into the whole Halloween thing in peace, and I would hate to think that my children would cause anyone any stress (although they cause me plenty!)

But I did put a pumpkin out and have had a few ToT's. Have to say, the calibre of ToTs has really gone down- terribly lame jokes, crap costumes... I had a 6 yo tonight recite a short poem asking that I give her a bottle of buckfast!!! Can't say I've felt too frightened, though. I've never really known anyone go in for the "trick" thing- and surely you're MORE at risk of having tricks played on you if you don't open the door?

I don't really understand the need for so much debate. It's just good manners, isn't it? I've just taken dd (5) trick-or-treating for the first time, somewhat against my will, on the proviso that we ONLY go to houses with a pumpkin outside the door, we say thank you very nicely, and the 'trick' is to tell a joke.

Trick-or-treating should be a mutually consented activity.

Thing is, for a lot of people, T&T is harmless fun - whether you like to decorate your house and admire all the costumes, or whether you have kids who thoroughly enjoy doing the rounds - most T&Ters round here respect the 'pumpkins&decorations ONLY' rule.
It's a shame that some people behave badly and use it as an excuse to do so - but the same bad behaviour occurs with the excuse of carol singing, too. It's not at all unreasonable for people living in rough areas or who have awful neighbours to find the whole thing distressing, but the whines of disapproval even of those who only visit houses that are clearly expecting and wanting a visit is a bit tedious.

Had 6 T or T'ers, some with parents.
2 boys with their single dad are brats + def future asbo kids - their dad is nice but ineffectual.

My mum stayed cos she wanted to 'see the (very cute) costumes', (ie: make a huge fuss of the kids) - just after telling me that it doesnt matter that i may not get PG as she 'can't stand kids'! :(

A couple of you have merrily said that you're more at risk of tricks if you don't open your door which makes me furious. We aren't in ffs so the idea that my house would get egged because I don't answer the door of a house I'm not in is absurd. And my car has been egged when I was out in it on Halloween because I didn't give any money to a gang of kids hanging round the streets.

What I don't understand is that we encourage our children not to accept sweets/lollies off strangers, yet once a year people actively encourage them doing so...but knocking on the door of said stranger.

I don't get Halloween...I really don't. It has nothing to do with sweets/lollies etc, that is just another Americanism that we are slowly adopting.

Thankfully, TorTing for Halloween seems scarce here, in the 4 years we have lived here, I have never had anyone knock. Just the way I like it. I refuse to give sweets to other people's children just because they dress up & knock on my door!

I think it's sad that teens and younger resort to using eggs or tricks like that .Spoils it for the rest but then mine gave never gone put alone by highschool age figured there to old to wander in gangs alone as can be intimadating but they would come out with dd and ds with me

Now they take the little ones out for me but don't dress. Up and they all know if someone says no or not come to the door to walk away

Trick or treating is at best begging, at worst blackmail. Why are we giving our kids that either of these are good fun things.......

The whole thing is an import from accros the pond which naturally the retail trade as seized upon as the October money making event.

Should add till recentley we lived on fair size estate but you followed the pumpkin rules

we moved dd is only child in village to go trick or treating and have to say pumpkins out and plenty of treats given

The few other dc in village go up to the next small town (disclaimer there is less than 12 dc here

Well I'm anti Halloween because it feels very American. We used to build Guys and hang around street corners or knock on doors for 'penny for the Guy'. Not sure whether people would be scared of me and my friends pushing a pram with a Guy in, but it was fun and we made heaps of money . Bring back the Guy I say, the ds's will be making a Guy for Friday.

because there is a difference between excited youngsters trick or treating and gangs of thugs demanding cash. The former I'm quite happy with, the latter that seem to think our road is a cash cow [hangry]

Sparkle I agree why once my dc hit senior school they was not allowed and at 13 and 15 at 5,10 and 6 foot they would look intimdating not everyone knows there very soft and gentle young men.Now they just go out to take dd and ds3 7 and 5 but don't dress up

GoreRenewed, you are assuming that people do not open because they are scared . Some people do not open because they just do not want to participate n something they have absolutely no interest in.

I think it would be interesting to survey who does not open and why. I am not sure the fear to be attacked would be top of the list TBH.

We do not celebrate Halloween/go trick or treating. Most year I do remember it is Haloween though and get sweets to give to children who knock on my door but the times I completely forgot about it I do not bother opening the door just to say "sorry I have forgotten to buy sweets" as I indeed have better things to do.

Last night was one I remembered to get enough sweets to feed a small army though .