To leave a 12 year old boy at home whist we go shopping

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Hey,

My dh and I are having a 'discussion' about us and our 16 year old daughter going shopping and leaving our 12 year old son at home. He (ds) says he has a cold and doesn't feel like going out. I know he'll be ok - watching the telly/playing on Xbox and he is trustworthy (as much as a 12 year old boy can be) but I just don't feel comfortable leaving him. My dh is telling me not to be so ridiculous. aibu? xxx

yes you are being ridic, unless your 12 yo is a total nutjob likley to light fires in the living room whilst baking himself a cake of razor blades and leaving the cooker on

He'll be fine. He goes to school on his own right? He'll be safe sitting at home playing x box surely? I wouldn't worry and enjoy your shop.

I think he'd be fine. We left both of our dds alone in the day time from age 12. And now they are 15 and 13, we very occasionally leave them from 6ish to 9ish and go for a drink without them. And I am uber-nervy and controlling!

As long as you think he is sensible leave him. I have to leave my son for 6 hours during school holidays when i am working and he is fine ( my mum rings to check on him )

You know him best. Sounds fine to me.

How long are you going to be out for?

I'm considering letting a nearly 10 year old stay in the house alone for the first time for about three-quarters of an hour this week (as easiest way of doing the logistics of clashing commitments), so I'd expect a 12 year old to be fine (unless the shopping trip us an all-day Calaus booze cruise or similar).

Depends on the kid but assuming he is of average development and intelligence and whatnot, and especially considering he has the Xbox to occupy him, he should be fine. Just agree a few ground rules in regards to answering the door and phone, what to do if the power suddenly goes out or a murderer appears in the fireplace, etc.

I was at home on my own for an hour in the morning and two hours after school from the age of ten and the worst thing that ever happened to me was I came home to the alarm going off...and because we'd talked about it I did exactly as told and went round to get the neighbour to check it out first. And as expected it had just gone off randomly as it sometimes did, no problems in the house.

I've had to leave my 12 year old at home every day during the holidays, he's been fine. I'm a working single mum and there's no childcare available around here for anyone over primary age. Most of my friends do the same, there's not been a problem with it.

I leave my 10yo under similar circumstances. And was happy to leave his sister for the whole day when she was 12. In fact, I've been working for most of halfterm and the 13yo and 10yo have been at home all day on their own: I gave them a tenner and told them to sort themselves out for lunch. They were fine.

Thankyou so much for your replies. It seems I'm being a bit stupid/precious! I felt HAVING to be out for work is ok but not for stuff like shopping.

My mum used to leave me alone in the day when I was sick when I was at primary school. (I don't remember from what age) But that was a long time ago, things were different then!

I would say 12 is fine.

He'll be fine. You've got to leave them at some point... And boys HATE shopping!!

I leave dd, 11, if she doesn't want to come. It's no problem. The rules are don't answer the phone or the front door.

I supose my problem is, my parents were ALWAYS going out and leaving me at the weekends (as well as working full-time) from when I was about 8 or 9. Most of the time it was ok but I do remember feeling desperately lonely and bored a lot as well. I don't want my son to feel like i did (which is stupid cos I'm only talking about a 2 or 3 hour shopping trip!). Thanks for helping me see sense! xx

Good idea MiraArte

YABU. He will be fine.
Have you gone yet ? Later you can enthrall us with lists of shoes/dress's/gifts , that you have purchased.

NO - I'm sat on the sofa in pjs wishing I'd gone with dh and dd!(I would have got dressed first lol) Ds is upstairs watching a film - so it makes no diference to him if I'm here or not!