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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to think that dp can miss work just once?

23 replies

lollipopshoes · 31/10/2010 07:20

My friend is getting married on Friday and I want dp to take himself off call. If he gets called out I will have to not go to/leave the wedding as we only have one car and it's too far away to walk - can't cadge a lift with anyone else because in between wedding and reception I have to come home to pick up the kids who are not invited to the wedding but are invited to the reception (limited space in registry office)

I don't want to miss the wedding or the reception, I don't want the childrenn to miss the reception as they have been looking forward to it.

I've asked him to tell them he's unavailable and he says he doesn't want to let them down. I understand this, I do, but I want to go to my friend's wedding.

so, AIBU?

OP posts:

seeker · 31/10/2010 07:25

Taxi. Sorted.

StewieGriffinsMom · 31/10/2010 07:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigchris · 31/10/2010 07:30

He can stay at home and you and kids go to the reception. Could you stay overnight at the venue? Or you and kids get taxi home so you can drink

Original poster

lollipopshoes · 31/10/2010 07:38

taxis out of the question as we live in the middle of nowhere! taxis would just be ridiculously expensive - if they would even come out here in the first place

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 31/10/2010 07:41

does he get lots of extra money for being on call?
why can't he swap his on call?

how likely is it he will be called out?

FakePlasticTrees · 31/10/2010 07:47

YANBU - DH works in an office, if a good friend was getting married on a Friday, i'd expect DH to take a day holiday so we could go as a couple.

that said, it's not a lot of notice for a day off, willthey have time to get soemone else to cover?

seeker · 31/10/2010 07:48

You take him to work. Then the car is your for the day. Sorted again!

bigchris · 31/10/2010 07:50

All go to wedding
if he's called out you and kids get a lift with someone
sorted again

kreecherlivesupstairs · 31/10/2010 07:51

Depending on his job, could he sleep over somewhere at work just in case?

bigchris · 31/10/2010 07:52

Sounds like a shite night anyway
you can't drink in case you have to drive him to work
he can't drink in case he has to work
a wedding with no toasting with fizz won't be any fun needs drink to have a good time

RustyBear · 31/10/2010 07:55

Could you/he hire a car for the day? Last time DH had to do this he got one for around £20, it wasn't a great car but it got him where he needed to be...

overmydeadbody · 31/10/2010 08:15

What are th chances of him being called out though? If it's slim I'd just risk it and sort out the details if he does get called out.

Original poster

lollipopshoes · 31/10/2010 09:30

chances of him being called out are probably about 50/50 Taking him to work is not an option because he could be called to anywhere in the area, us sleeping over is possibly an option but if he gets called out between the wedding and reception I have no way of getting home to get the children and back to the reception so he'd have to drop me off at home meaning I'd miss the reception.

Taxis not an option, lifts not an option because everyone else will be going from wedding to reception and I need to come home first and get the children.

I don't think there is a compromise, tbh - either he stays on call in which case he may get called out and I potentially miss the wedding/reception or he tells them he's unavailable and they get someone else to cover (which isn't a major problem because it's in office hours so someone from the office could always cover... twould be different if it was a Sunday night or some time out of office hours)

Hiring a car is a good idea but again, not really an option considering where we live.

Have decided (I think) to stop nagging him about it and keep my fingers crossed that he doesn't get called out.

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 31/10/2010 09:49

I think your husband should put you first, rather than his colleagues. This is a special occasion, it's not like you are asking him to take a day off to go shopping or something. He has, presumably, known about this for some time and should have sorted it already. He is not leaving anyone in the lurch as there will be people available to cover.

If he won't then I'd be equally as selfish and would take the car and tell him to make his own arrangements. How he does that is not your problem.

LittleWhiteWereWolf · 31/10/2010 10:01

My husband is a drainage engineer and every 3 weeks is on call (only 3 engineers in the office for this county). I had a very dear friends wedding on a friday a few weeks ago, so DH swapped the date with one of the other engineers. They do it all the time as with there being 3 of them they are on call pretty regularly. Their manager doesn't mind as long as they let the cal centre know who to pass work to. Simple.

Can your DH not do this? I had 15 month old DD with me, too, so I think I'd've been pretty knackered had I been on my own! Plus DH wanted to come as it was a very old friend of mine, she and her then fiance came to our wedding 2 years ago, they came to DDs birthday party etc.

seeker · 31/10/2010 14:31

Where on EARTH do you live that hiring a car isn;t an option?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 31/10/2010 14:35

Hire from that firm that bring the car to you....

Meow75 · 31/10/2010 14:36

Get the hire car delivered to the venue, not your house.

onimolap · 31/10/2010 14:42

Is it that he's

a) tried to swop, but no-one else can cover, or
b) hasn't even tried?

If a), then hire car or serious bribery of friends/neighbours for lifts. If b), words fail me (actually they don't, but typed out they'd look like incitement to violence).

Is there c): he doesn't really want to go, but would deliver the DCs to the reception, this making your day easier?

flamingpants · 31/10/2010 14:46

How old are your children? Where's the registry office? Can you look up a local baby sitter to keep an eye on the kids whilst you are at the wedding (maybe a nearby park, or even at the venue where the reception is) and then just take them along with you to the reception without having to faff about going home?

pintyblud · 31/10/2010 14:57

Who's looking after the kids while you;re at the wedding?

ilovesooty · 31/10/2010 15:08

I think unless he can swap with someone it's too short notice to mess work around. If it's important enough to you you'd sort taxi/hire car out.

Original poster

lollipopshoes · 31/10/2010 15:31

kids at school. was going to take them out of school for the afternoon but as they can't go to the actual wedding they may as well stay at school - hence I have to come back and pick them up.

Have just told the bride to be that potentially I may have a problem and explained that he's on call and can't (won't) rearrange it. She has a problem of her own... how to get her fiance's car from wedding venue to home - so I have offered to drive it.

Now if dp gets called out, it doesn't matter because I'm driving another car anyway and if dp doesn't get called out, it just means that neither of us can have a drink so not the end of the world.

Sorted.

Thanks for suggestions

OP posts:

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