to take my children to a nice restaurant for lunch

[Nikna]

The idea fills me with dread, but DH booked a lunch at a nice restaurant today for my birthday. DS (3yrs) sat at the table really well playing with his cars, but when being encouraged to eat his meal did shout too loudly "its too hot!". Next thing I knew there was a man storming passed the table telling me "I should learn how to control my child!" as he walked out.

It wasn't as if he was running around the restaurant like a maniac. Of course should not let said, rude, miserable man upset me.... but here I am still stewing on it.

mooos I don't quite understand. You don't want children to behave badly, but you don't want them to be told off. You don't want parents to raise their voices to their children in public, neither do you want children to be taken away from situations and told off quietly?

And you ask "What happened that you turned out like that.?" Maybe the amazing parenting you remember from years ago wasn't that effective after all

Do you know what? It doesn't bother me if other peoples' children are a bit loud in restaurants, no matter how 'posh'. I'd be a bit peeved if they were running about and throwing stuff but loudness (if it's happy loudness not screaming loudness) is not a problem. Because they are someone else's children and I don't have to deal with it!

Mine are older and behave very well. They love going out for meals and are happy to sit quietly and chat because they enjoy the experience. But I don't know whether that would have been the case if they had never been out for meals, or god forbid, only the Brewers Fayre 'child-friendly' food-barn type catering establisments.

DH and I were recently in a fairly posh Chinese restaurant and out meal was disturbed by a braying middle-aged man who dominated not only his own table's conversation but, by his sheer volume, that of several tables round him.

FGS. Middle-aged men shouldn't be allowed out until they've learnt their social skills properly at home.

Quite right shodan!

And at least children don't get pissed

Oh, I think there's a fine line. OP - it sounds like this man was being a complete twat and you should disregard him. For myself, I have no issue with children in all but the most formal of restaurants and I think it's normal for them to make some noise. But there is a line and I think it's a sad truth that too often that line is crossed by parents and children alike. We have friends who would regularly allow their children to literally scream the restaurant down when we were out with them. IMO, that was unacceptable and it made DH and I very hesitant to eat out with them and the children for a long time.

When we were growing up, we ate out as a family regularly but there were certain rules about how much running around we could do and noise we could make - directly proportional to the type of restaurant we were in. My brother and I were often left at home while our parents took our much older siblings out to "nicer" places until we were considered old enough to join them but from a very young age we would all go to more family friendly places together.

Moos

I can't speak for every child, but mine are not badly behaved. If they were, then we wouldn't go out to restaurants etc.

I do not shout at them in public (or anywhere else for that matter)

Not sure about the age bracket you describe though? I began parenting before 30. And I'm def not "New Age" - far from it.

There are some restaurants, and times, wheere I absolutely would not take the children. Eg on a Saturday night, somewhere a la carte. However, we would, very often do take them to the local gastro style pub at a weekend lunchtime.

I do agree that childrens behaviour comes from the parents. I must be fantastic then

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