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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

you aren't broke....

35 replies

booooooooooyhoo · 30/10/2010 21:20

if you have just bought a new car and had it resprayed.

you aren't broke if you have just come back from a holiday in amsterdam with your girlfriend.

you aren't broke if you spend 3 nights every week in the pub and roll home in the early hours.

i am sore sick and tired of hearing certain people whinge about being broke while i am sitting in a freezing cold house because the oil has run out and i have no money to get any.

OP posts:
Original poster
booooooooooyhoo · 30/10/2010 21:21

I'm not even asking if IABU. i don't care if i am.

OP posts:
toddlerama · 30/10/2010 21:22

YANBU. Sorry you're cold Sad

cobbledtogether · 30/10/2010 21:23

They are possibly broke because they've done those things.

YANBU though - there's a difference between broke becasue you've pissed it up the wall and broke where you can't afford essentials.

GrimmaTheNome · 30/10/2010 21:24

He sounds broke to me.

Leastwise, something about him needs fixing.

YANBU

WhoAteAgentZigzagsBrain · 30/10/2010 21:25

The things you're talking about are luxury stuff, but perhaps they're just saying it because it's what you say to other people?

The alternative is to admit you've got stacks of cash and no you're not going to share it.

But then they are going to say they're broke cos they would be after spending all their money aren't they?

Original poster
booooooooooyhoo · 30/10/2010 21:25

leastwise, it's 3 different people. each has complained to me this week about being broke. i had to bite down very hard on my tongue.

OP posts:
RockBat · 30/10/2010 21:35

We're broke. I have bills I worry how I'm going to pay. But we've just come back from a very big holiday to New York. We have two cars sitting outside the door. My parents paid for all that. If we had to pay for ourselves we would have no car and no holidays and we wouldn't be living where we are living. You wouldn't think we were broke if you knew us.

YANBU in a way but you don't always know what's going on in people's lives.

Original poster
booooooooooyhoo · 30/10/2010 21:37

well, two of those people i know very well (one is my ex) so i know they aren't actually broke. the other man, i doubt his parents are funding his pub visits but then i don't know for sure so they could be.

OP posts:
Dansmommy · 30/10/2010 22:20

YANBU.
My MIL does this. And if you say you'd like something but can't afford it, she says, "Yes I couldn't afford it either, really, but it was worth it". Makes me want to scream at her...she really doesn't understand that when I say I can't afford something, it means it's that or food.

lollipopshoes · 30/10/2010 22:27

YANBU.

I get fed up of my middle class friends telling me how broke they are (we can't afford our fourth holiday this year!) when we've been struggling to feed the kids!

A1980 · 31/10/2010 00:08

To put it into perspective 2 billion people on the planet have no access to a toilet.

If you have access to sanitation, live in a house, have adequate medical care and education and have enough to eat then on a global scale you are among the wealthiest percentage of people on Earth.

thelunar66 · 31/10/2010 00:13

When we were 'broke' we hid from the coal man who's cheque had bounced.

We walked a mile over the fields to use a phone box as our phone had been cut off.

We had beans on toast 2 xmas dinners running.

I thought about taking the dog to the dogs home and dumping her there.

I thought about growing cannabis to sell.

I felt cold the whole winter long.

I couldn't afford the bus to take DD to hospital when she was very ill.

OP... YANBU

maighdlin · 31/10/2010 00:37

YAsoooooooooNBU. my sister and her dh are one of those people who moan about how broke they are, "oh tell me about it" when i say we have no money. yet they have booked a two week holiday for their anniversary and are planning to get decking in their garden when they finish off paying for my sisters mondeo. She does not realise that her dh earns twice as much as mine. We drive a kia picanto, they drive a mondeo and a saab. their worried about buying the nieces and nephews xmas presents. im shiteing myself about paying for dd's childcare. Get a fucking grip. You are broke when you cannot buy food or oil or electric. There has been many a time when i have had to buy nappies for DD using boots points or get payday loans to enable us to eat in a house with lights on. hate these types of people [hangry]

gaelicsheep · 31/10/2010 00:40

I know I was a bit rude to you on the other thread Blush but I will say YADNBU!

MaimAndKilloki · 31/10/2010 00:54

One of my friend used to say, when told that I couldn't afford t come out for a drink, "yeah, I'm skint too, only having a couple"

Nop.. I'm actually skint, which menas a "couple" is more money than I actually have [hhmm]

I think some people have a funny idea about money and what it means to have none of it. it seems some think none actually means some, and vice versa.

Original poster
booooooooooyhoo · 31/10/2010 11:27

haha gaelic, i don't bear grudges from thread to thread. it happened on another thread, leave it there Grin

i agree, some people seem to think skint means, you haven't as much money to buy drink as you'd like but in fact it means every account is overdrawn and all credit cards are maxed out and there is no oil and only sausage rolls for dinner.

BUT

i am feeling very humbled by A1980's reminder of just how lucky i am to have those sausgae rolls and an electric oven (which is keeping the kitchen very warm Smile) to heat them in. so actually i am feeling a lot less pissed off today. we have been invited to my aunt's for lunch and m,y mum's for dinner so the sausage rolls are safe for another day.

OP posts:
Serendippy · 31/10/2010 11:31

YANBU to be down about your heating, however 'broke' often turns into a debate. If you can afford to eat 3 meals a day, you are not broke. If you can afford one shower a day, you are not broke. If you own a car and put petrol into it, even if it is 20yrs old and you are driving it only once a month, you are not broke. It's all relative. Hope you manage to sort the heating sometime soon.

borderslass · 31/10/2010 11:34

MIL was always going on about she couldn't afford christmas presents as there's so many GDC [7] but she is always buying for her daughter and her child doesn't bother us but why go on about it [we no longer speak due to other serious issues]

Chil1234 · 31/10/2010 12:42

And anyone accessing MN via a home computer/laptop with broadband that's costing £££ per month.... is probably not 'broke' either.

EmpressOfTheUniverseReality · 31/10/2010 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperLapin · 31/10/2010 12:50

I disagree Chil I need my computer and broadband for work (am a homeworker) and yet I'm so broke I can't afford to buy any fuel for the central heating this year. Broadband these days hardly costs anything compared to the price of oil, gas, electricity etc.

DarciesmumandTTC2 · 31/10/2010 12:51

My sister is like this, always moaning shes broke yet goes out for meals, out drinking etc

My DH used to do this when we first got together moaned he was broke yet could afford to go out with his mates and moaned that i'd never go out with them - I explained I was broke which meant I had NO money to go out with.

He understands now and is very careful with money and def doesn't go out when we are having a bad month.

MiasmARGGG · 31/10/2010 12:51

Add message | Report | Message poster A1980 Sun 31-Oct-10 00:08:53
To put it into perspective 2 billion people on the planet have no access to a toilet.

If you have access to sanitation, live in a house, have adequate medical care and education and have enough to eat then on a global scale you are among the wealthiest percentage of people on Earth.

^^ what she said. Exactly!

fruitloafrocks · 31/10/2010 13:57

can I add these please boo....

if you have the full sky TV package,

have just bought a new dishwasher,

and also just bought the kids a massive trampoline for the garden as a 'treat'

......obviously my sister is very broke, poor thing.

mamadiva · 31/10/2010 14:22

A friend of mine is so skint that she could only pay for her DS to go to nursery 2 whole days a week so she gets a break (he's 4BTW) AND she could only afford to get her sons the £120 scooters that they want for xmas instead of the £200 they liked the colour of!

Does my head in that a single person who does'nt work (not whinging about that BTW) can afford to do all of this yet DP works (for a shit wage but it's a wage) and we can afford basics and nothing else.