DH's brother died two years ago & was cremated , we were told by his wife that his urn was going to be put in one of those wall memorial slots . My other Bil took his nephew(15yrs) out for a treat the other day & dn has told him that his dads ashes were never collected from the crematorium & that they keep writing letters to his mum asking her to collect them . Now all of DH's brothers & sisters are getting their backs up & are upset at this but although i understand that they feel this way ,i think that they should stay out of it .
BIL was not a very nice man 
& i am sure his wife has her own reasons for not collecting his ashes .