to wonder if H is trying to tell me something?

[allabitclosetohome]

We have a neighbour lets call her N. She and H don't seem particularly close. Up till know we have probably socialised with them twice (she has a DP) and we say hello in passing, I see more of her because we have dc the same age and sometimes stop to chat.

A couple of times now H has talked about her along these lines.

Me taking a while to fill out complicated DLA forms for one of our dc, "I bet N would have done that, sent it off and it would be getting paid by now".

Me loaded down with shopping refusing to run for a bus because there was another one coming along in a few more minutes "N would have done".

Me talking about what kind of job I could do in the future when DC older "well N, probably has it sorted but then she is a lot more ambitious than you, a lot more get up and go".

What would you be thinking about this?

I would be telling him that he is welcome to go and live with god like N if thats how he feels and dont let the door hit you on the way out.

Ok, so you would get a bit upset about it? Just wondered if I was overreacting as he doesn't seem to think he is saying anything wrong.

Maybe i would be overreacting [hhmm]

How well does he know her, or rather how well do you think he knows her. CAuse those comments are quite knowing iyswim. Have you ever commented that she's better/more organised than you?

It sounds like he has a bit of a crush on her. TBH I think if there were actually anything going on he'd not mention her at all

I'd think he has a crush - no more than that. Nothing wrong with that as long as it stays as an idle crush - but he should have the manners and respect to keep his crush to himself. He's being a twat.

Maybe you should invent your own crush. Talk a lot about some bloke and how great he is - if your H calls you on it, explain why you're doing it.

Sounds very very wrong to me! I would be worried, he clearly rates her highly, and you and your feelings don't matter

I'd be off.......no way would I take that humiliation, no way!!

mentionitis. (A Bridget Jones term). Sounds weird.

Can you challenge him along the lines of:

"N would have done"
"Would she? How do you know?"

Either he knows her better than you think, or he's chosen her at random as a way of having a pop at you. Neither very acceptable.

Sounds like he's winding you up to me.

No, I have only ever said that we get on ok, no comments about her being organised or anything, don't know her very well at all.

She was actually a bit funny with me for a couple of weeks, nothing excessive, just not stopping to chat as she normally would and I mentioned that to him and he suggested that SHE was irritated with me for maybe talking to much to HER DP, who I barely know and have NEVER talked to beyond "hi", "kids ok?", "bye" etc.

"or he's chosen her at random as a way of having a pop at you"

I think it IS that Tribpot. Nice eh?

Just wanted confirmation that I was not overreacting before I rip his head off next time he does it .

Investigate further ......

Mmmmmm, it sounds to me like he tried it on with her and she was subsequently embarrassed to see you. I hope I'm wrong.

I agree with tribpot's suggestion.

But that thing about her dp is a bit weird.

I second the "mentionitis".

Next time you find your DP falling short on performing some essential task, suggest N's DP would have put in a far superior performance [hgrin].

"She was actually a bit funny with me for a couple of weeks, nothing excessive, just not stopping to chat as she normally would and I mentioned that to him and he suggested that SHE was irritated with me for maybe talking to much to HER DP, who I barely know and have NEVER talked to beyond "hi", "kids ok?", "bye" etc"

Hmm. He thinks that she is being funny because you talk to much to her DP who you never speak to - I think not. He knows EXACTLY what the problem is and I think you are not overreacting in any shape way or form, more likely to be underreacting, IMO. But then I am a possibly-slightly-paranoid cynic, who would find these derogatory comparisons to a woman I barely know extremely suspicious.

I too think he has maybe tried his luck, hence her being funny with you for a few weeks. He seem to know her very well for a couple you have only socialised with twice.

Whatever his reason for saying these things, it's obviously upsetting you, and for that reason alone, he should think there is something wrong with what he is saying and stop it.