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AIBU?

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Original poster

FB and children..this is why it's wrong.

46 replies

MoralDefective · 30/10/2010 11:58

Have posted on this subject before...
Neice in Australia aged 8,friend requested us about a month ago....none of us (DP,me,DD(22),DS1(20)and DS2(16)have accepted because we don't think it appropriate for 8 year olds.
SIL,has posted previously about how she she can't walk having just been waxed!!!![yuck]
She now has a post from a friend that has shown up on our walls that has gone via neices profile....it reads....
'Horny,fat wife in stockings and high heels,puts on a cape
She bursts into bedroom and shouts at her husband..
''SUPERPUSSY''
He looks up and says
'i'll have the soup'.
My whole point has always been that you can't control what other people put on FB.
Neice is 8
AIBU to think her Mother is vile to expose her to this....i would include her Father but he's not on FB so assume he doesn't know.

OP posts:
Original poster
MoralDefective · 01/11/2010 00:17

Jeez, it just gets worse.
Sils FB today has the most awful 'jokes'.
Misogynistic and dirty.
One is about buying a racehorse called 'My face'
Every one is shouting
'Come on my face'.
I'm getting so bloody wound up by this.[grrrr]

OP posts:
Joolyjoolyjoo · 01/11/2010 00:21

I don't think my dd's will be allowed a FB account until they are at least 14. Sorry if that makes me an old gimmer.

I have had friend requests from a friend's 11 yo dd and refused them. I explained to her mum (my friend) that I can't guarantee that all the posts on my page will be suitable for an 11yo. She was fine with it,

Original poster
MoralDefective · 01/11/2010 00:27

Good on you Jooly
i think i'm an old gimmer tooo
i don't accept friends under 16,
and even that feels too young.
16 year olds are BABIES!!!!!

OP posts:
badfairy · 03/11/2010 14:17

Jooly in principal I'm with you. But how will you know whether they have one or not ?

estya · 03/11/2010 15:42

What is an adult teaching a child about internet safety if they allow then to lie about their age to use a social networking site?

Completely agree with you bekkio - it is impossible to just say no and think they'll stay oblivious to it all. But thats a big step away from being complicit in it (ie 'friending' your 8yr old)

monstermissy · 03/11/2010 15:56

Its not normal to keep in touch with everyone you meet in life, these kids are adding people at 8 and younger (i knew a girl who registered her new born for one and updated it from the baby). can you imagine having every detail of your life and everyone you ever exchanged a few words with (which is it seems what qualifies a fb friend) documentented online forever. Once its out there its gone. I have downloaded friends pictures (with permission) and have them stored on my pc you cant delete it. You can deactivate it but its still there.

Made by the government? lol

pottonista · 03/11/2010 16:53

Um, Facebook policy doesn't permit users under 13? So quite aside from disgusting posts, YADNBU.

You would not be unreasonable either IMVHO to remind your SIL gently of this, and to suggest her DD maybe joins Club Penguin or something else more age-appropriate until she's a bit older?

tegan · 03/11/2010 17:03

My dd1 is 12 and like all her friends are she is on fb. They are at secondary school and even the teachers are on there. Anything they see on there they can hear at school at least i can see everything she is seeing. we have all the same friends on there and also alot of those friends are family.

i do disagree with primary age children being on there and as such will not accept a friends request from many of my friends children.

GiganGORE · 03/11/2010 17:08

i swear and put innapropriate things on my facebook.

i will not accept anyone under age and will report any friend request i get from anyone under age as they are not allowed on facebook until 13.

i am a bitch

FruitSaladIsNotPudding · 03/11/2010 17:12

My 9 year old SIL is on facebook. She has just started using an app which gives her a 'sexy score' for the day. I see it every day on my updates. Yuck.

Her picture is totally inappropriate too, it's a professional picture, with make up. I do not know what the hell her parents are thinking, and I wonder if I am condoning it by having her on my friends list, but it's hard to say no when they ask you to your face!

Joolyjoolyjoo · 03/11/2010 17:12

badfairy- I will know because the only places we have computers in the house are very public, and I really do monitor what they are doing on there!!

Will also add that when they are 14 and finally legal for a fb page, i will be warning them not to put anything on there that they wouldn't want me to see, as I WILL be monitoring it! If they want private chats to their friends, do it at school/ on the phone. If they want to record private thoughts, keep a diary. If it's on FB, it aint private, and mum WILL be watching!

I imagine that will detract somewhat from the fun side of it (I hope!)

tegan · 03/11/2010 17:16

DD also wanted to be on msn but i said a definate no to that as i wouldn't know who she was talking to and couldn't monitor what was going on. I would prefer her on fb to msn

HSMM · 03/11/2010 17:25

My 11 yr old dd has been telling me for the last 2 yrs that all her friends are on facebook and i have been saying no. I overheard a friend tell her to set up an account without telling me, so i added her to my account. She was right, all her friends are on there! I am keeping a close eye on her, because we are sharing the account, but i'm still not happy

lottiejenkins · 03/11/2010 17:27

I work in a primary school and dont have any of the children on my friends at all. They send requests and i refuse them!!

badfairy · 03/11/2010 19:21

Yes Jooly I hear you...me too in my house but I am also only to aware that Facebook is accessible on other peoples computers , mobile phones and in internet cafes. You don't have to sign up as yourself ...in fact a lot kids use aliases that they share amongst themselves to avoid their parents finding out.

Tidey · 03/11/2010 19:28

Some of the pages that kids sign up for on FB is completely inappropriate. A relative (who is under 13 therefore IMO far too young to even have a FB account) clicked on something without knowing what it was and it sent a message to everyone on her friends list saying 'My name is , I've had sex with another woman, ask me for more info'.

tegan · 03/11/2010 20:11

All the teachers at dd2's primary school have been told they are not even allowed fb accounts which is slightly unfair as a couple of the teachers are childhood friends of mine and i would love to have a chat on fb with them

Joolyjoolyjoo · 03/11/2010 23:22

Hmm- looks like a private detective may be the only way forward..

I would hope that the idea of the wrath of Mum would be enough to frighten discourage dd. Or maybe not! Can see that working for dd1, but dd2 is a different kettle of fish!

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 03/11/2010 23:36

I have two facebook accounts - one for my friends and one I mainly set up to keep an eye on DD1 - she is 13 btw - and to put my family on. And never the twain shall meet.
What does bother me is the amount of friend requests I get from schoolfriends of DD1 who don't even know who I am - they all have hundreds of friends most of whom they don't even know IRL as far as I can tell.
Also, DD2, who is 10, doesn't have Facebook but most of her classmates do and hardly ANY of them have set privacy settings properly so anyone at all can see their walls - I was thinking of mentioning it to the school actually as I think they might need to do some more internet safety talking with them.

mummyofexcitedprincesses · 03/11/2010 23:48

The LA have sent an email to all teachers in this county saying that we shouldn't have pupils, past or present, on our fb friends list. I think this is fair enough but don't agree with schools saying teachers can't have fb accounts. Surely that is down to the individual to decide.

I am in charge of DD's account, passwords ands friends list. She has to follow my rules or lose her fb account. So far, she has been very sensible, so I am confident I did the right thing letting her have an account. It is a controlled way to learn about safe internet usage, if handled correctly.

MrsKarpet · 04/11/2010 15:09

Gaaaah facebook....@@$%*&%^

My 14 yr old son is on it constantly - he used to have a life - and doesn't want to be my 'friend', unsurprisingly. However his privacy settings are rubbish and I can read his wall posts, as can presumably anyone else. On the one hand I should mention this to him so he can set them properly, on the other then I won't be able to nosy and find out what's going on in his life, moral equivalent to reading his diary I suppose. Bad mother.

However, amusingly his girlfriend accepted my friend request... And oh my god what rubbish they all spout. I'm sooooo glad it didn't exist when I was a teenager. Every tiny thought that pops in their head is online instantly.

I hate it for children to be honest, my little ones are never EVER going to have it, or a mobile, or any internet ever! We are going to move to a forest and live in a teepee when hormones start up.

YANBU, I turn down requests from little ones too. It is an unsuitable environment for them.

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