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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want people to let me know whether they're coming to mine for Christmas or not?

18 replies

ZombiePlan · 30/10/2010 09:20

Invitations issued a few weeks ago. As yet, no responses whatsoever apart foro my parents. I appreciate that people can't accept/decline on the spur of the moment, as there are always logistics of where other people are spending Christmas to take into account, but I need to know fairly soon as I have relatives who want to know whether to book plane tickets to come home (they won't come this year if a big Christmas isn't happening). AIBU to want the rest of the family to let me know one way or the other so I can tell the relatives abroad, get meat ordered for the right no of people, etc? They seem to think that Christmas is just something that gets sorted out on 24th December!

OP posts:
lokaku · 30/10/2010 09:22

YABU its only October 30th

Original poster
ZombiePlan · 30/10/2010 09:23

OK - how late do you think plane tickets can be booked?

OP posts:
SuePurblybilt · 30/10/2010 09:24

Entirely reasonable. My DSDad is like this and my mother never knows if any of his children are coming until the day. He won't ask them and they're all just not planners Grin. It drives me mad as it starts a knock-on effect - my plans, Ex's plans etc etc.
If flights are involved you really need to sort it soon don't you?

SuePurblybilt · 30/10/2010 09:26

lokaku - it's six weeks away. Nobody would find booking a summer holiday 6 weeks in advance odd, why is it odd because it's Christmas? People still need to book time off, make logistical plans and book transport.Not to mention getting a decent price.

bumpsoon · 30/10/2010 09:27

How about ringing people ,explaining about the flight thing and say can you let me know one way or the other if you are coming by next friday ? FWIW my mother starts asking me in august ,im a shift worker and i dont even find out if im working christmas day or not for another couple of weeks !

huddspur · 30/10/2010 09:27

YABU its xmas is still a while away and you can book plane tickets at very short notice to most locations.

onimolap · 30/10/2010 09:28

How many people are you chasing up? Do they usually respond promptly (ie how sure are you that it's juggling Christmas dates, not just a dilatory approach?)

If it's not too many calls to make, could you ring them and find out how long it will be before they know what they're doing? You can also explain when you need to know by (and why), and this is likely to work more easily in conversation than in print.

Good luck in getting it sorted out. My DSis always has problems with late-planning in-laws, so I've heard quite a bit about how awkward it can be.

Original poster
ZombiePlan · 30/10/2010 09:30

Huddspur - not if other people have booked the seats first! Seats book up quickly at christmas when you're living in countries with high nos of expats. Have had issues booking to go out there at Christnmstime before

OP posts:
Original poster
ZombiePlan · 30/10/2010 09:33

BYW did chase gently last week. Response "Ooh, we'll have to let you know". Yes, but when?

OP posts:
purplearmadillo · 30/10/2010 09:37

My MIL is the same, she never lets us know until a few days before any event and it drives me nuts. This year, we mentioned it to her and got no response, so I've made a plan that doesn't involve her and will see her after Christmas!! Grin

SuePurblybilt · 30/10/2010 09:38

Round email saying you'll need to know by X date to "make bookings". Don't need to specify what Grin.

FoundWanting · 30/10/2010 09:38

YANBU

I'm going to PIL's tomorrow and feel the need to raise the christmas question. I don't mind if we are 5 or 15 for the day, but I want to know because I have to budget for it and there are only two pay checks to come now.

I know I'll be told (as every year) that SIL hasn't made any plans yet. Why does that even matter? It's not as if we are ever invited to hers for as much as a glass of sherry.Hmm

Bunbaker · 30/10/2010 09:42

"YABU its xmas is still a while away and you can book plane tickets at very short notice to most locations."

Not at Christmas. I regularly book flights for OH, and holiday periods book up weeks and weeks in advance, and the difference of a day or two can make a huge difference to the price.

ENormaSnob · 30/10/2010 09:42

Yanbu

I want to arrange things for over Xmas but can't as I don't have my shifts yet.

Original poster
ZombiePlan · 30/10/2010 09:43

FoundWanting - that is soooo rude. Are your PIL of the "If SIL won't go then we won't either" persuasion? It's horribly rude to wait to see if someone else is attending before responding to an invitation.

OP posts:
FoundWanting · 31/10/2010 08:03

No, it is not that. SIL works shifts and always moans that she is left out of arrangements, but doesn't make a decision until the last minute. MIL tip-toes round her since she split from her husband 7 years ago.

She has a newish partner and three grown-up children (two with partners and babies). So, when she comes here it could be just her, or it could be 7 adults and 2 babies. I'd just like to know in advance....

She has also moved miles away from PIL this year which will mean DH or I will have to go and collect them and take them home because she won't be able to give them a lift even if she does rock up.

FakePlasticTrees · 31/10/2010 09:07

OP - YANBU - you need to stop the gentle approach and get firmer - i'd go with "Hi X, have you made any decisions about Christmas yet? It's just that I've had a conversation with Y and they can get a great price on a flight, but the travel agent can only get them that price until Tuesday, can you let me know by then?"

(And obviously brief Y in case they talk!)

lowrib · 31/10/2010 09:24

YANBU. Xmas flights get booked up very early.

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