Is calling your DD 'Elouise-Bracegirdle' a teasing way of dealing with her having a brace fitted?

[chiaroscuro]

Or is it a bit cruel?

Maybe a little unecessary. Does she need teasing?

And making a name tag to pin to her bedroom door the entire time of wearing it.

what?

Ideally, you should also make this into a show, whereby DD's real dream is to work as a model, but since she is too ugly due to said brace, has to spend her time working for a magazine in the fashion industry.....

you could even make a TV series based on that.

Actually I've had time to think about this..

Her brace will rub her gums and make them sore.

It will impact on what she can and cant eat.

It will need tightening regularly which will make her mouth ache for days.

Food will get visibly trapped in it and look awful

She might need to insert tiny elastic bands around the back which will ping off at inopportune moments.

And you still think she needs teasing?

In fact..what level of teasing is OK as a parent.

Calling your DC a 'platypus' if she falls on her face? Or teasing her about going through puberty and her confusion at the hormonal changes in her body?

Is teasing really a form of affection?

This is how I was treated as a child. I am struggling with self esteem and wanted to know if it was me being over sebsitive.

I would never dream of doing this to my own DC.

Think about what you would accept from another person. If someone else called your daughter a name because of her brace would you affectionately laugh it off?

Or roll up your sleeves to bash them into next week?

I know what I would want to do

Ah, an AIBU by stealth.....

I think my upbringing was a bit emotionally abusive and I am trying to put together pieces.

I think teasing like this is horrible, actually. It's what people who don't have in-jokes because they don't have that level of closeness, do instead. Imo. In-jokes get initiated in some random way between the child and the parent, and it's totally different to make up an elaborate tease when the child's already going to be in some real pain (braces hurt!). Nasty.

No, not an AIBU by stealth Nanny. I have bottled things up for a very long time and this is a painful process. I should post in MH or Relationships but never quite feel that things were bad enough to justify my being there.

I both want it to be wrong so it explains why I am so screwed up but also thought maybe, I was just overly sensitive and need to get a grip.

Your OP read like you were looking for permission to tease your daughter

OK.

This is what I was going to write, based on your OP.

"Yes, sure, bit of fun, of course, just like all the kids at my school calling me Bucharest-speccy-four-eyes did wonders for my self-esteem"

But, as you've given us more info. No, it's not a "teasing" way. It's a degrading, patronising, taking the piss way of dealing with it.

I don't think you are being over-sensitive if you were treated like that, even if your parents maintain it was a "laugh".

Buger, that was the name I had picked out for DD.
Seriously, she will be getting braces soon and I had no idea they were painful.

I really wasn't trying to trick anyone, just didn't know how to word it.

Somehow putting that it was directed at me was hard.

I look at the stately homes thread, have been on MN for a couple of years, but somehow feel, well it was only me, it doesn't really matter. I won't go into it anymore... I am just not sure what to do with what is in my head.
But thank you.

If your parents routinely said things that hurt you or made you feel humiliated and then said "you are over sensitive" or "you are over reacting" when you told them you were upset, then YES you were suffering emotional abuse from them. Deliberately doing something that a person has told you upsets them is bullying, in fact, for me, the phrase "you are over reacting" is a big alarm bell as nearly always the phrase means "you should not be challenging my behaviour, your feelings don't count and mine do, I am entitled to humiliate and upset you".

Do look up the "out of the fog" website as they talk a lot about being emotionally abused (FOG stands for "fear, obligation, guilt" in this context).

You may well find that this "teasing" was in fact a bullying control mechanism. It is ok to be upset and ask someone to stop their behaviour, if they ignore you and carry on doing the things that upset you, then that is deliberate abuse and disregard for your feelings.

This was not AIBU by stealth.

OP wasn't drip feeding info so everyone would agree with her. OK AIBU may not be the best place to start dealing with childhood issues, but a bit of support and a gentle nudge to a more appropriate board doesn't take much.