to expect DD1 to get up and use the potty at night?

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I just don't know what to do anymore!

DD1 is 3 years 5 months. She has been potty trained for about a year, and has been dry at night since last November.

However, in August, she began wetting the bed again. I thought it was a one off, but it soon escalated to every night. I probablydeserveaflaming-- resorted to putting her back in pull ups at bedtime as it was so hard to get her bedding washed and dried every day (She doesn't even wake up when wet, it doesn't bother her, so her duvet ends up soaked too).

Now, not only does she wee in the pull up at night but poos in it too! Because she 'wants to' and doesn't want to get put of bed and go on the potty as she's 'scared of the dark'.

AIBU expecting her to get to the potty when I know she can do it as she did it for months? Should I be ignoring it, or going mad about it or what? Nothing seems to work and I'm out of ideas.

oops did the strike outs wrong sorry!

Does she have a night light in her bedroom? Can you leave the door open and the hall light on, and tell her to call you when she needs the toilet?

can't you leave the toilet light on for her?

She has a nightlight on in her room and I leave the landing light on too. She will go at the the start of the night,when she's first put to bed, it seems to be when she wakes in the middle of the night that she won't get up and go-even though the light is on. I've tried telling her to shout me and I'll help her but she never does.

Night light? It might just be worth a trip to the GP to see if there's an underlying uti. Is there anything she's feeling insecure about, ie, new nursery, childminder, etc. Nothing wrong with the nappies but do you lift her when you go to bed - I had to do that until dd was about four and a half.

Sheesh, torch my bottom, I would have put her back in nappies too.
Try a reward system, chocolate square (or whatever) in the morning if she doesn't wet herself or poo in the pullup. She does need a night light, though.

It's very unusual to poo in the middle of the night. Has she been ill recently? A tummy bug?

or is she stressed out about something?

onceamai I've had her to the docs and she hasn't got any infections.

She just started school nursery in September, do you think that could be causing it? She's settled in really well and enjoys going.

I have also tried the rewards ragged she doesn't seem fussed about it, whereas I on the other hand would do anything for a chocolate button .

Thanks for all the suggestions so far though. Do you all think I should keep her in the pull ups until she is dry again in her own time?

I should have mentioned in the OP that she has a nightlight.

I always woke mine for a wee at 10.30 /11pm when they were that age. They sleep so deeply they don't realise they are doing it IME.

Also, I only gave them water to drink after about 6pm - much less irritating to their bladder.

I wouldn't expect a 3 year old to be alert enough to remember to get up/call me.

However, you say she has been doing that in the past - has anything happened/changed in her life that might be causing her anxiety?

Oh - and have you checked for thread worms? Very common cause of bed wetting.

Keep her in the pull ups but do lift her when you go to bed because it might help. I don't know what's causing it tbh but starting nursery is a big big change and we forget how tiny they are at 3. She might have grown up a lot in one way but need to regress in another. Is it possible that she might be drinking a lot more than she did before nursery or not going when she is there and it has put her routine out a bit? I'm not an expert but am sure it will sort itself out.

localmum Threadworms? Never thought of that- can you see them in the poo? I've not noticed anything unusual.

I'm not sure if she was maybe anxious about starting nursery- but she's been there for half a term now and really enjoys it, if it was that wouldn't her anxiety have gone by now? I can't think of anything else causing her to worry (apart from the dark).

I have tried waking her when I go to bed about 11, it seems to be after that that she wees. I don't think she is pooing while asleep, I think she wakes up and chooses to do it in pull up instead of potty/toilet.

She usually has milk at suppertime, would water be better?

Thank onceamai I hope it does sort itself out soon.

We're having exactly the same issue with 3.5 yo dd2. We've set up a reward chart, if she gets up with a dry nappy she gets a sticker and if she uses the potty in the night she gets a sticker. (although she caught onto the trick of hiding wet nappies and getting fresh ones out of the packet in the morning!)

It's taken a couple of weeks of re-assurance (getting cross made her anxious and was counter productive) and praise but there seems to be light at the end of the tunnel. The last 5 days or so she's been dry so fingers crossed we've had a breakthrough.

dd2 was the same, ie not weeing/pooing in her sleep but was waking up and choosing to do it in her nappy.

profYapple your DD sounds the same as mine- I might give the reward chart another go. Do you give her a sticker every time she gets up to use the potty in the night? Or just when she wakes up dry?

Sorry had to at her getting out the fresh nappy to try and fool you.

Because you've checked up on stuff like uti's, etc., and now will with the threadworms (although you could just give her one of the little orange tablets just in case) it's probably a case of least said soonest mended. She probably needs to know, deep down somewhere, that you will love her just as much whatever she does. And you sound like a lovely mummy.

onceamai you brought a tear to my eye! Thank you for your good advice. Will definitely ask DH to pick up some tablets as she could easily have picked worms up at nursery.

3.5 is young to be dry at night anyway. I think it's fine to go back into pullups for a while and then give it another go a bit later. I went through several cycles of this and it worked fine.

It does seem unusual to poo at night though - or is she doing it in the morning? I think I'd be rewarding the 'no poos' but ignoring the wetting.

My DD is a similar age (3:2m) and has just started to be "scared of the dark" - she won't go upstairs to use the loo in the day without someone and screams at us to come in to her at night and won't leave the bed.

It could be and age thing and a genuine fear. My DD is still in pull-ups at night as she wees in her sleep so I've not had to address this - but maybe a magic torch to "scare things away" plus the hall light on etc? It is very spooky and quiet getting up in the night on your own - maybe that's why she doesn't. Maybe work on that side of things with her to see what will scare her fears away?

scareprudence I'm pretty sure she is awake when doing the poo, just that she decides to do it in the pull up rather than get up. I think she must do it in the morning.

Bonzo she is very scared of the dark, and she's scared of woodlice (there are tons of them in our house becauce it's such an old house) I think it's a combination of the two that stops her- I leave her nightlight on all night but it doesn't seem to be enough. They have a dimmer light too which I leave on low til I go to bed. When I tried leaving it on all night they (DDs share a room) both woke up at 4am thinking it was morning!

Yes, she gets a sticker for a dry nappy and an extra sticker if she's used the potty.

She also had a few incidents of 'dribbling' a bit of wee in the day time because she was putting off using the toilet so she gets a sticker for dry pants at the end of the day too.

It may be helping that dd1 has a sticker chart for eating veg etc, they've been in competition and dd2 is now beating dd1 so she's very keen to get the stickers!

Ah sibling rivalry can be used for good then . Not sure I dare pit my 2 against each other! Will give the chart a go.