refuse grandma to put nappies on dc at 4?

[pitzi]

grandma (MIL) sometimes has our 3 nearly 4 year old overnight. Only about 4 times. She lives alone and puts him on cushions on the floor (there is nowhere else) and sleeps beside him. He has wet the bed on a couple of occasions, and one time rolled off and peed on her white rugs.

She works from home, so I understand the difficulty there, plus the rugs are heavy and she cant manage the laundry. She is insistent that we put him in nappies when he sleeps over. He hasn't worn them for nearly 2 years, and I doubt it he will keep them on. I don't want to do it as it seems regressive, especially as although he kept dry at night for 3 months, he has been wetting the bed quite a lot at home recently. I am happy to resolve the issue by using a travel cot, (if he would fit in one) but he is heavy and and she has a bad shoulder, so doubt that would work. Am I being unreasonable? She seems to think so.

I would absolutely not return to any sort of nappies if he has been dry for a significant period so in that respect YANBU to refuse to put him in them , however YABU to expect your mum to deal with this.

I think you just need to keep suggesting solutions to Grandma, other than nappies, until she agrees to one. If she doesn't, then he doesn't sleep over, end of. It's a bit odd and unreasonable of her that she's fixated on nappies being the solution.

YABU he is not reliably dry at night so would be extra work and hassel for her. I think that those pyjama pants for older children would be better tbh, or not staying the night until he is reliably dry at night.

I think this is a bit of a tricky situation tbh. Yanbu not wanting him in nappies, although she isn't being unreasonable not wanting wet furnishings.

Does he have to stay over or is it just because she wants him to? Tbh if she doesn't like any of your solutions I just wouldn't send him there overnight!

There is nothing really wrong with nappies at night, my dd 3.7 is dry in the day, but not at night. Even when she has a nappy on she asks or goes to the toilet so it totally does not confuse her. If they are toilet trained, I dont think it will confuse him, ust added protection at night. The pyjama pants are an alternative solution, as dryness at night depend of a hormone being relesed that lessens urine output at night. Some have it early in their preschool years, some later at 7/8 , that is why these pyjama pants go up to age 15 years.

I'd go with the "night-time nappies". My 4.5 year old went back to wearing them when I was heavily pregnant and he had a period of wetting the bed. They're dry most mornings and he's very proud of that.

They don't confuse my son or make him lazy - if he wakes and needs the loo he goes - they're just there when he's sleeping very heavily and doesn't wake. He's a big lad too so they're the older boys' bedtime pants and he doesn't see them as a nappy like his sister wears.

Could they be "something special to wear at Grandma's"?

My dd is 5 and has been dry during the day since she was 2yo. However she still wears "special pants" at night, as attempts to "get her dry" at night ended up with her sleeping soundly in a soaking smelly bed

I did a fair bit of research, and came to the conclusion that wearing special pants (pyjama pants) at night will not hinder her becoming dry at night, and will be a lot more comfortable than a wet bed. She is keen to be dry at night, and is really happy when the pants are dry in the morning. Someone (doctor/ nurse/ HV???-not sure!) told me that there was little point in taking her out of them still she had a run of at least 7 nights dry in a row- we have had 3 over the last 3 days, so the end may be in sight! Apparently it's to do with them producing ADH, a hormone which slows urine production at night. That is why doctors won't do anything medical until they are 7- because it can take until then for them to start producing this hormone naturally.

To me, a wet bed and the subsequent fuss and embarassment is more daunting and upsetting than pyjama pants.

If he´s only wetting when he sleeps there, then I´d be thinking he either doesn´t like it or isn´t having a wee before bed.

I wouldn´t want him sleeping on cushions on the floor when not necessary.

Sorry, but she´d either have the inflatable bed or he wouldn´t sleep over.

YABU you should be looking at ways to minimise your ds's bedwetting when he stays at other peoples homes. You should try and come up with an alternate solution.

my ds is 5 and will be 6 in april he has 4 days out of a week his dry and 3 wet so he is getting there but we will use pull ups especially if staying at someone elses house

i make sure they take him to toilet before bed etc he may well have a dry night but his not fully dry yet so i wouldnt want someone else to have to deal worth the laundry etc

even though my ds wears pull ups most mornings there dry so its not affecting him wearing them his just not 100% dry yet

id second a ready bed or futon cushion with waterproof sheet even my ds has futon cushion for sleep over if its 1 night a compromise should be had pyjama pants look grown up not babyish and ask her to remind him to wee before bed

also you have to remember grandmas dont always know about pyjama pants etc so saying nappies doesnt really mean a nappy but something to stop him wetting its also distressing for child to wake up wet if not fully dried i used to look after friends boy over night he wasnt fully dry and she was fine with me putting pyjama shorts on him as it was hard work getting bedding washed and dried every time he is now 100% dry and i dont have to do that anymore but she had no problem with it

I think YABU as these are your MIL's things and she doesn't want wee on them. I know that my MIL would not mind if any of my DCs wet the bed (I have two who are dry at night) but I wouldn't expect her to happily have dc3 to sleep over without a pair of pyjama pants on when he has had 2 dry nights. She would do whatever I wanted though.

The sleeping on cushions is just barmy.

No diddle op said that he had been bedwetting recently at home. Dont see that there is anything wrong with wearing pyjama pants at night if toilet trained in the day, kids of all ages do until they are physiologically ready to do without them. They just add that extra protection if they were not able to wake up to go.

yabu - nothing wrong for him to wear nappies occassionally,

very nice of her to him over night

Oh, I missed that

TBH, I wouldn´t see the problem with some thing that´s more like pants than a nappy.

He is still quite young.

Where does she usually sleep?

Thats ok diddl obviously have too much time on my hands reading all the posts

4yo dgs wear pullups at night though has been dry in day for well over a year

Like others have said, get him a ready bed and use one of them pampers bed mats inside just in case.