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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

bollocking for 6yo dd

26 replies

MrsLucasNorth · 28/10/2010 19:44

Left dd in bathroom doing toilet & teeth before bed while I popped downstairs for 5 minutes. We only have hardboard down in there at the mo as we're waiting to have flooring put down.
When I went back up I found she'd helped herself to my Bio-Oil and absolutely covered her hands and feet in it and left huge oily splodges and footmarks across the bloody floor. I think the quantity involved was not intentional but she's old enough and intelligent enough to know not to be doing that sort of thing in the first place imo.
So had a rant and initially said we'd be rethinking the 3 Halloween parties she's been invited to over the weekend, however since it's such short notice & our friends are now expecting her, and since i've already forked out for a costume and ticket for the 2nd party (Rainbows disco) have now said she can go to parties but no tv until Monday.
Seems reasonable to me but tbh I don't have to punish her v. often so would be interested to get the MN verdict!
She has gone to bed a v. unhappy bunny.

OP posts:
TheChamomileLawn · 28/10/2010 19:46

I think you're being a bit harsh actually.

Tortington · 28/10/2010 19:48

meh kids innit, a telling off would have done if its not her usual behaviour

pjmama · 28/10/2010 19:48

Was she being deliberately naughty, touching something that she's previously been told she's not allowed to touch? Or do you think she just wanted to try something that she sees you using, didn't think and was a bit cack handed and split it? I'd have been bloody annoyed too, but I guess the severity of the punishment should probably reflect the intent - only you can guage that.

booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2010 19:48

huuuge over reaction. unbelievable huge.

"for goodness sake dd, look at this mess. help me clear this up. you know you shouldn't be at my stuff. don't do it again." end of.

NotAnotherBrick · 28/10/2010 19:49

Total overreaction IMO. NO need to punish - just ask her not to do it again.

booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2010 19:50

btw, children can't tell the difference between bio-oil and cheapo moisturiser. you should keep it out of her reach if it is very important to you. kids are naturally curious and love to experiment. as a parent you have to pre-empt this kind of thing.

alexisfaith · 28/10/2010 19:50

Absolutely agree with boooooooooooyhoo, OP your reaction was thoroughly Hmm

saffy85 · 28/10/2010 19:51

Sounds like curiousity got the better of her. YABU and harsh. Couldn't you have just asked her to help you clean up the mess and lectured her on the importance of not touching other peoples' things without permission?

pjmama · 28/10/2010 19:51

spilt and gauge - my spelling is attroshuss tonite...

FlyingInTheCLouds · 28/10/2010 19:52

agree with the rest. My DSS 'washed' all and I mean all of the shoes in the house when he was 7. I had to go to the pub in flipflops in december, and though I told him off, we ended up having a laugh over all the silly things I had done as a kid (and importantly never did again).

Doesn't sound deliberate just experimental.

I managed to shave my arms at about 8 because I had watched my dad do his face, they copy us.

Six is stil very little

MrsLucasNorth · 28/10/2010 19:55

I did wonder if I was being a bit harsh tbh, although we've got so much on over the next 3 days the telly ban would hardly register. She has been a bit mouthy this week as well. To be fair, I don't think she intended to make quite the amount of mess she did and I don't usually have major issues with her (although this kind of thing has cropped up once or twice before).
May just make it tomorrow then, she has a friend coming round in the morning then 2 parties in the afternoon & evening so won't make much difference.
I think anticipating Dh's reaction made me go a bit ott - he is constantly criticizing and nitpicking lately - hopefully it'll dry out before he gets home later!

OP posts:
booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2010 19:56

Grin at having to go to the pub flying

booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2010 19:56

you have bigger issues than your dd spilling oil.

MrsLucasNorth · 28/10/2010 19:57

Boooooy?

OP posts:
booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2010 19:59

you punished your DD because you were worried about your DH's reaction to what she'd done. how about telling your DH it is oil, it will dry, the floor is being covered. it's no biggie. but now your DD has gone to bed feeling massively punished.

thefirstmrsDeVeerie · 28/10/2010 20:01

I can understand your inital anger. My DS does this sort of thing A LOT [SN] and it brings me to tears sometimes. The thought of trying to clean it all up arrrggghh.

BUT it sounds as if she just got hold of some oil and had no idea what would happen. A little bio oil goes a very long way and she wouldnt know this.

Than goodness you didnt ban her from the parties. What the hell would you do if she kicked the dog or bunked off school - beheading? Grin

Talk to her. Discuss what she has done and admit you were angry and over reacted. Ask her what she thinks her punishment should be. It will be much better for your realationship in the long run.

mamatomany · 28/10/2010 20:01

Well if aged 6 you can't expect to be able to leave cosmetics around without them being trashed it sounds like you should punish her more often. I would expect a three year old to do that tbh.
I think words would have been had in this house.

FlyingInTheCLouds · 28/10/2010 20:02

Booo - Grin

MrsLucasNorth · 28/10/2010 20:02

You are right boooy - it's been a bit 'walking on eggshells' round here lately (not in a really nasty way - he's just behaving like he's 81 rather than 41!) But that's another thread entirely.

OP posts:
hairytriangle · 28/10/2010 20:03

This is the kind of thing six yr olds do!

booooooooooyhoo · 28/10/2010 20:05

agree with thefirstmrsdevere, telkl your dd you over reacted and agree a punishment with her. i always knew when my mum had recated in bad temper rather than a just punishment and i resented her for it. you DD will appreciate you doing this and it will help her to see that you are human and make mistakes. and don't let your DH punish her again for it.

biglips · 28/10/2010 20:07

well its normal for a 6 yrs old to do that type of stuff and also get abit mouthy at times...as her school friends are exactly the same. When she was 5.5 yrs old she drew on her canvas wardrobe - nailvarnish, i had a few words with her and she had no story for that night too (it was the same week that she drew on her bedroom wall so i said do it again and no story so thats why no story after the wardrobe canvas incident...unsure why she was acting like a 2 yrs old as she never did stuff like that when she was 2!! Hmm).

Anyway, I wouldve of had a few words and then tell her to clean it up herself or with you if it is a bigger job to clean up and give her a chance.

MrsLucasNorth · 28/10/2010 20:08

Mama - I feel the same way about not having to lock stuff up - she's grown up with unlocked kitchen cupboards and an open fireplace and never goes anywhere near either (obviously we had some safety measures in place when she was tiny but she learnt the word 'no' as far as those things were concerned pretty pronto!)
She's a v. bright little girl and I do find it easy to 'forget' sometimes how young she really is. If anything I normally err on the side of soft touch though Grin.
Think I will pop up and see if she is awake enough for a chat and a cuddle.

OP posts:
aristocat · 28/10/2010 20:09

Hmm my 6yo DD locked herself in a public toilet today ..... needed another 10p to rescue her Grin
i was quite cross at the time but we were laughing about it later

agree you have been a bit harsh - a few words and help to clean up would have been enough

onceamai · 28/10/2010 20:12

Bit harsh but totally understandable. Nothing I haven't done. Go and have a cuddle and explain and be mates again.