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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to keep kids off school the day we move house

30 replies

yesitsme · 28/10/2010 13:13

I want to keep the kids at home on the day we move house rather than send them to school, they are aged 10 & 12 and I feel they need to say goodbye to the old house and feel apart of the moving in process, especially as it will be nearly going dark when they get home from school to the new house, it doesn't give them much time to settle before they will be going to bed in a strange house! Any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:

Ineedsomesleep · 28/10/2010 13:14

Can see what you mean but personally I would send them just to get them out of the way. We moved house and send DS to his GP's for the day, but he was much younger than yours. He was fine.

GoreRenewed · 28/10/2010 13:17

You must be mad!

They'd be better off out of the way at school. Let them say good bye when they go to school. IM(recent and painful)E leaving the house for the last time is usually stressful and rushed and horrible!

LittleMissHissyFangs · 28/10/2010 13:19

they're old enough to help too! We moved at that age, but i can't remember if we were off or not...

Mind you, we always went on our summer hols the last week of may, beginning of june... Things were different then! See if you can get the day off for them.

If they are changing schools too, they might want to spend the day there, but if not, it's worth asking the school for the time off.

Mumi · 28/10/2010 13:21

If you want to do this then I think you already know that you should have organised the moving day at a weekend. Anyway, they may actually find going to bed in a new house quite exciting :)

BecauseImWorthIt · 28/10/2010 13:23

I think this is more about you and your feelings for the house than them!

I would send them to school - they will just get in the way otherwise.

RockBat · 28/10/2010 13:25

I would ask them. Make it clear that they'd have to pull their weight and help and it's not a skive.

LIZS · 28/10/2010 13:32

Think you're projecting your sentimentality onto them. They'll be happier at school.

Ineedsomesleep · 28/10/2010 13:35

Personally, I've adopted the policy that if they can stand up then they go to school. They won't be able to take a day off work on a whim and should get the message that school is important.

usernamechanged345 · 28/10/2010 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mumi · 28/10/2010 13:44

How odd - I know loads of people who have done it in chain (more than those moving in the week in fact). Maybe it's a regional thing.

taintedpaint · 28/10/2010 13:46

We moved as kids at that age. I was kept off school to help more than anything, but it was good for me because I felt involved.

I would probably keep them off school if they are generally good kids and not likely to cause problems on the day (and also not missing anything crucial at school). Maybe it's just me, but I know that having some control over my stuff when it was being packed and moved helped me settle into the new house. Mind you, this is coming from someone who was the pushed aside child in the family, so I valued the few things I did have more than the average child I think.

Original poster

yesitsme · 28/10/2010 13:49

I'm beginning to wonder if it is me being overly sentimental! I thought the opposite would be true that people would think it cruel and unfair carting them off to school and missing out on the moving experience! I remember moving at aged 11 and feeling like I missed out, but I can certainly understand not wanting them getting in the way! Now I'm really confused!

OP posts:

emptyshell · 28/10/2010 13:58

I'd send them to school to be honest - the last thing you're going to want to do when you're playing hunt the kettle is to hear "muuuuuuummmmm she's picking on me" "muuuuuummmmmm I want to play with X thing now where is it muuuuuuuuummmmmm" You're going to be stressed to the eyeballs (moving myself soon so I can empathise there), the last thing you're going to be wanting to add to it is kid-wrangling as well.

Hell one time we were moving and I went to hide in school all day to get away from it as an adult!

Mumi - think it tends to be the traditional way of doing things that everyone in the chain completes on a Friday (and if you're last in the chain you get to sit around for ages waiting for the money and keys to all shuffle down the line) - thank god we're not in a chain!

BonzoDooDah · 28/10/2010 14:17

I'd keep them off and let them feel like part of things - they are old enough to not get in the way. If it were me (the child) I'd feel better doing the move with you than like you say - coming home to a done-deal and trying to settle into the new house that's going to be in disarray. It's a family move - do it as a family.

Give them some jobs to do - even if it is hold the camera and photograph the old house and the new house for a news report or something.

GoreRenewed · 28/10/2010 14:23

We expected to be able to move on a saturday but our removers wouldn't. We had to choose a different day.

mummytime · 28/10/2010 14:27

Moving midweek is usually easier and cheaper. I'd send them to school and try to have their new home looking vaguely like a home when they get home. Last time we moved a neighbour took our kis for a few extra hours to get things straight.

The house will look a bit spooky when you first go in with no furniture etc. Much better for you to start to make it look like a home and then get them in.

Blu · 28/10/2010 14:30

If you have a removal firm and van, then the fewer people around the better - they steam through the house v fast and children dashing out of a room into removal men moving a huge item of furniture through the hall will be very stressful and unwelcome.
IME (have moved out of 4 houses), removal day involves:
Keeping out of the way of the removal men except when
Making cups of tea for removal men
Cleaning behind them as they clear rooms - if you want to clean for new owners
Waiting around in limbo, often locked out of old house and not able to get keys for new, while the money goes down the wires and sols all out on extended lunch
Keeping out of the way of removal men as they speed through with boxes and furniture
Except to tell them swiftly and accurately where you want them to put anything not labelled with room destination
Quickly getting beds sorted.

I would send the kids to school.

And then all celebrate new house together with a takeaway once removal men have left.

Blu · 28/10/2010 14:34

I've always bought and sold on a weekday - none other offered because of the need for the solicitors to be there to complete on the contracts and money exchange.
Last time we moved DS went home from school with a friend and came home when the removal men had left. It was fine.

peasantgoneroundthebend4 · 28/10/2010 14:42

I would say school because being honest your likely to end up stressed and ratty with last minute things and then trying unpack other end build beds etc and best will in the world kids get in the way

BelligerentGhoul · 28/10/2010 14:43

YABU

They will be much better off at school. And if they can go to a friend/neighbour/relative for a while after school too, even better. That way, you can get their rooms done first and then they can just put posters up etc when they get home.

GiddyPickle · 28/10/2010 14:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GiddyPickle · 28/10/2010 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dockate · 28/10/2010 15:07

Send them to school! And after-school club too if you can so you can get as much done as possible without them. It will be manic enough anyway!

Sarsaparilllla · 28/10/2010 15:25

I think you're being more sentimental than they are!!!

Send them to school so they're out of the way, I think they'll just be under your feet if they're off school and it's not a good enough reason to keep them off.

Dartsonwednesdays · 28/10/2010 16:52

Keeping them off school to move house!?!? No chance, send them to school. Actually it's not a reason to keep them off school, the local authority won't look kindly on it.

And I'm not the sentimental sort. We moved house 3 years ago, after dp and I had spent the previous 17 years in one house. Never looked back, and wasn't weepy at all, even though we'd had some good times at the old house.

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