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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to go and see sister now?

8 replies

CrazyPlateLady · 28/10/2010 10:10

My sister is coming back on her ship tomorrow and I am suppose to be going along to see her (other family will be there, its not just me but they are going seperately, we don't have the same mum).

My nan was suppose to be coming with me but her arthritus has flared up and I don't think she will be coming.

I am 25 weeks pregnant, have really bad back ache, a 2.9 year old who will be coming and I have M.E. so can't really stand around.

Last time we went on the boat, you have to park pretty far away, then queue up (for ages, there will be loads of people there) for the coaches. I will have to get DS in and out of the pushchair, fold it up and down, get on the coach, with his bag and travel pot and pushchair (can't remember the driver being stood outside putting pushchairs on last time) by myself, then get off at the other end. I don't think the boat will actually be docked, you have to stand and wait and it takes a long time. DS isn't going to just sit nicely waiting all that time. I can't let him out as I can't carry him, he will run off or try and pull constantly on his reins.

DH can't get the time off work now, its too late and when we were talking last night, it was apparent that I am going to really struggle with this.

I wanted to see my sister come back and I have a feeling she may get shitty if I don't go but when we went to the family day with her on the ship, her behaviour and attitude was pretty appalling considering the effort made by me and cousin (who came down from up North). Cousin said she will never make the effort again. I was going to just forget about that day but when I think about it, I do get annoyed at how she was.

I just don't think I have the energy for it. I'm getting tired just thinking about what i will need to do but I feel bad cancelling at this late notice.

WWYD? Should I just suck it up and go or do I have a valid excuse to not go?

Also taking DS to a party in the afternoon. Arrggggghhhh.

OP posts:
pinkyp · 28/10/2010 10:25

If she had a bad attitude last time then tbh i wouldnt want to go this time,might teach her a lesson

NoelEdmondshair · 28/10/2010 10:29

Don't go and don't feel guilty about it.

MyPrettyFloralBonnet · 28/10/2010 10:34

You've got every reason not to go as long as your nan definately isn't going either. If your sister is going to be unreasonable and unpleasant about it I'd be tempted to fib and say I've got a stomach bug, and need to be able to scoot to the toilet quickly and don't want to ruin her return by giving her it, but then I'm a cow Grin

Hope your back feels better soon.

RipMacWinkle · 28/10/2010 10:34

TBH I think you've already decided. Your whole post is just validating your decision.

Your sentence here says it all...
I just don't think I have the energy for it. I'm getting tired just thinking about what i will need to do but I feel bad cancelling at this late notice.

D'you know what? You're pregnant, you have a toddler. Give yourself a wee break.

YANBU.

AngelsOnHigh · 28/10/2010 10:34

Be truthful, phone and say that you are just not up to it. Arrange to see her as soon as possible afterwards.

I think that it's pretty inconsiderate of everyone else not to realise that you will be on your own and would appreciate a little bit of help.

I wouldn't tempt fate by saying that you have a virus or anything but you would be telling the truth if you said that at 25 weeks pregnant and a toddler in tow you just don't feel capable of making it.

aaaaaAAARGHandbreathe · 28/10/2010 10:36

Is she in the Navy CPL?

Are any of the relatives who are going tomorrow within a short distance you can get to today - I'd drop a lovely gushing Welcome Home card round and some cakes or some food thing you know she will have missed while away and just say in the card sorry can't be there.

However....that is what I would do for a nice sister! If not I would send her a text today saying you're poorly but look forward to seeing her soon

CrazyPlateLady · 28/10/2010 10:54

Yes she is in the Navy. I am seeing my brother today who is going. I was thinking of giving him a bottle of wine to give her as it was her birthday while she was away. I did send a card. Or I was thinking of asking him to come with me rather than going with his mum. Can't see why he would object. They get to drive right up to the ship as they have a pass but I can't do that and have to park miles. Apparently there will be over a thousand people there too!

OP posts:
MrsSnaplegs · 28/10/2010 11:00

Depending where her ship is going in - Portsmouth or Plymouth you could go a meet her later if you really want to go. If it's Portsmouth tell her you'll meet her at Gunwharf quays for a coffee or something. To be honest I'm not sure you would be allowed on board anyway being pregnant, it's a h& s risk with ladders. I have been restricted to shoreside duties since 12 weeks. Has she even checked of you can go? I would suggest you wouldn't be allowed

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