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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want "gender specific" toy gifts?

31 replies

frgr · 27/10/2010 22:29

If a very nice family hotel Welcome Pack "offers kids age 2 to 10 gift boxes filled with age- and gender-specific toys upon arrival"... am I being nit picking to wonder what exactly "gender-specfic" toys actually entail in their view, and that I would refuse to endorse opening the toys with my kids?

I don't want my son to get a toy water pistol and a girl only a doll - I'd love for them to choose from a nice selection of toys, or something appropriate for all kids like a music toy, anything that's AGE appropriate, but not gender prescribed ones - I'm surprised that a hotel would BOAST about this in 2010?

Is it inappropriate or AIBU? Maybe I should post this in the feminism section?

OP posts:

onceamai · 27/10/2010 22:33

If I had a problem with it, I'd book a different hotel. I'm glad you haven't anything more important to complain about.

hambo · 27/10/2010 22:33

I think it is awful. Having two boys I am often so pleased that they are boys as they get all the good stuff, excitment and adventures, daring stories and interesting science stuff. As far as I can see girls are offerred fluff. Pink fluff. Maybe the odd horse, as long as it is pink. And fluffy.

So depressing.

When I were a lass I had cowboy stuff, and didn't wear pink and had adventure books and made catapults and had gangs who had adventures.

It must be really hard to have girls at the moment.

Sorry - have gone off on a rant!
YANBU

sungirltan · 27/10/2010 22:34

yanbu. i hate gender stereotyping on toys. wite a letter/email and perhaps they will rethink the toys :-)

AuntiePickleBottom · 27/10/2010 22:36

yanbu, i hate Gender sterotyping toys

scareprudence · 27/10/2010 22:37

Non-issue - couldn't give two shits.

Although, on second thoughts, my 8 year old son would be a bit pissed off to receive a welcome pack full of - oh, I don't know - hair clips, princess bubble bath, glittery pencil case...? There you go, I do have an opinion - YABU.

laweaselmys · 27/10/2010 22:39

I agree, ask them why they don't have neutral bags.

FetchezLaVache · 27/10/2010 22:39

YANBU. Agree it might be an idea to write to them to express your reservations- I too hate gender stereotyping for kids.

DuelingFanjo · 27/10/2010 22:42

YANBU.

Original poster

frgr · 27/10/2010 22:44

oh, scarepru, i wasn't recommending going the other way and forcing girls to have water pistols and boys barbies - just surprised that a hotel would boast about this these days rather than go for toys that 99% of kids would enjoy that are age specific (it would also help purchasing and stock control too, surely? )

onceamai - you're implying that my wondering about this is trivial. you obviously don't see it as an issue, and that's fine, but it's a bit off to suggest i don't have anything better to think about Slightly patronising.

OP posts:

sungirltan · 27/10/2010 23:14

loads of places give out gender free toys. ffs pizza hut just give out crayons and colouring sheets. however do they manage it? ;-)

FetchezLaVache · 27/10/2010 23:57

It's something of a pet peeve of mine at the moment. Only the other day I saw a range of toys called something like "Lovely Pink Toys for Little Darling Girlie Wirlies", and it was all pink irons, pink kettles and SHIT like that. Made me fume slightly. Could you name the v nice hotel so that we can all write to them?

onceamai · 28/10/2010 00:17

Why is it such an issue? I love pink things and girly things and perfumed things and pretty things and am jolly pleased to have a daughter. In spite of all that she couldn't care less. That rather blows the gender specificity nurturisation guff out of the window. Not a tomboy - just couldnt' be bothered. The odd thing is, I wasn't allowed pink as a child and coveted it so much that at one point I had a pink kitchen!

Diamondback · 28/10/2010 10:12

YANBU - my DD's not even born yet and I'm already getting grief because I don't want everything in pink! And I bought my Goddaughter a science toy for Xmas, har har.

LeggyBlondeNE · 28/10/2010 10:48

Diamond - hah! I was told I shouldn't impose my prejudices (against pink) on teh baby. Because of course letting everyone else impose their stereotypes is fine!

mousymouse · 28/10/2010 10:50

yanbu
I hate dislike that too. what is wrong with cars and dinasaurs for girls? and dolls and kitchens for boys? I don't get it.

Faaamily · 28/10/2010 10:52

YANBU. We went to a charity event last weekend and they handed out little party bags to all the kids. The boys got really cool joke shop tricks (whoopee cushions and packs of cards etc) and the girls (even my 2 yr old DD) got Barbie and Hannah Montana pink tat.

Shabby.

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 28/10/2010 10:58

Trouble is OP that most of us do conform to 'gender-specific' toys. You could give the hotel and ring and ask what toys are in there and then decide.

In this house I am brilliant with helping the boys choose what they want, whether it be hairbands to school or a pushchair, baby doll and kitchen when they were little but I am quite rubbish with my dd. Perhaps it's because she's my only dd and I think with two older and one younger brother she is surrounded by boys things enough for me to be much more endorsing of pink!!

NoelEdmondshair · 28/10/2010 10:59

You think whoopee cushions and packs of cards are "really cool"?

kitbit · 28/10/2010 11:00

Why not ring them and ask? If one pack of the other sounds more fun, ask for two the same. But be prepared for your dd to want the ball and water pistol but be annoyed that it's in a Ben 10 packet.

Faaamily · 28/10/2010 11:00

Well, the kids actually played with them straight away, and all the girls wanted a turn.

So, cooler than a Hannah Montana bracelet and some Barbie stickers, yes.

treas · 28/10/2010 11:02

My dd had no exposure to dolls for the first year of her life as she had an older brother who was not interested in them even though he could play with them at coffee mornings etc.

On dd's 1st birthday a friend bought her a first baby doll. On opening it dd immediately said 'aah, baby' and cradled it in her arms.

Children will play with what they like not what you like - I speak from experience having had a gun free home to find ds and dd having a shoot out with guns made from lego!

readywithwellies · 28/10/2010 11:13

I would just prefer they reduce the cost and not give the goody bag, then I could purchase what tat toys I wanted the dcs to have rather than a hotel chain choosing them.

bruffin · 28/10/2010 11:30

Not sure what your trying to prove. Never gave a thought to things like that, it's trivial and unnecessary and managed to bring up very well balanced children despite not worrying about pink/blue or gender specific toys. I suspect the more you make of issues of trivialities the more they become a problem.

What about children being taught to be grateful for a present whether it's something they like or not. If they don't like they can give it aways to someone else. It's not really for you to dictate what presents a hotel chooses to give out.

bruffin · 28/10/2010 11:31

"And I bought my Goddaughter a science toy for Xmas, har har."

Did you buy it because your GD likes that sort of thing, or to prove a point which is mean to your GD.

Gory09 · 28/10/2010 11:35

I agree that gender specific toys are a bit stupid but if I nderstand well, ii is a gift from the hotel you are going to so I would not complain on a "don't look a gift horse in the mouth " ground

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