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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU in wanting to write a ranty letter back in reply to this?

16 replies

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/10/2010 15:26

Cut a long atory short, just before half term, I dropped DS1 and 2 off at school and was on the bus home with DS3 and DD. DS3 was sat in front of pushchair - he had filled his nappy and obviously wanted out.

In protest, he was making that low level droning whinget that they do when they can't be arsed to cry and create properly (which couldn't really be heard over the general bus/road/engine noise) and I was talking to him trying to distract him from his nappy. He was obviously pissed off with my crap bear impressions and to show his distaste let out 2 high pitched screeches. Now with that, I glanced around the bus - none of the other passengers batted an eyelid - but suddenly, the bus driver glared at me in her rearview mirror and said:

'Love - If you can't keep him quiet you will have to get off the bus!'

Everyone was then looking at me, I was embarrassed and went bright red.

Shocked, I responded 'I'm sorry?' and she didn't reply.

The next stop was home so I got off at my usual stop.

Once off the bus, I was absolutely fuming and seeing as my ticket costs me £4.30 every day I decided to call the bus company and complain.

The woman I spoke to was very nice, apologetic and said she knew the driver concerned and was not suprised by what I had told her. She also said that no matter how much noise a child is making, you can't be asked to leave the bus, children are children. I also said to her that if my children were ever to make a scene on a bus and upset other passengers I would get off the bus myself, without being asked, rather than sit there with people tutting at me. But as he made only 2 loud noises, I thought I was okay for one more stop.

A few days later I recieved a letter from the Operations Director saying they would look into it and thanks for letting them know and today I have recieved a follow up. It reads:

I refer to your recent phonecall concerning the driver of service...blahblahblah... and thank you for bringing this to our attention.

We expect all drivers to conduct themselves in a professional manner at all times. The driver concerned has now been interviewed and is adamant that she did not suggest that you would have to leave the bus, merely asked if the child could be stopped from screaming. She apologises to you if you felt humiliated or embarrassed as this was not her intention. the incident has been discussed with her at length and in detail and she has been suitably advised for the future. The driver's future performance will be monitored.

I apologise for any embarrassment which may have been caused and trust that you will not have a similar experience in future.

Yours sincerely....

Now correct me if I am wrong, but 'adamant' means 'definately did not' in this situation, no? She is saying she definately did not say I would have to get off.

Secondly, the did not 'suggest' at all, she told me I would have to get off.

I am rather pissed off as I feel she has turned this around on me, making me look like a liar - why the monkeys would I just complain saying she had said I would have to get off if she didn't? With 4 small kids I have plenty of better things to do, but as I said, this time I decided I wouldn't just take it up the tailpipe.

I think I wish to respond. Would you?

Thanks for reading.

Rant over.

OP posts:
LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/10/2010 15:27

Oh yes, and DS was not 'screaming' FFs. Hmm

OP posts:
Dracschick · 27/10/2010 15:29

I think shes been pulled in,hauled over the coals and has just basically lied.

She knows shes lied,you know shes lied and probably her boss knows shes lied .....if shes arsey like that with you she will be arsey with other people too.

Let it go.

The driver could have been having a really awful day- just move on.

bigchris · 27/10/2010 15:29

I'd leave it tbh
she's been warned, she's learnt her lesson, what do you want? To get her sacked? She made a mistake and it's been dealt with

SuePurblybilt · 27/10/2010 15:30

She's lied and they've given her a bollocking. I don't think they would believe that you made the incident up entirely.

I would let it go now.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/10/2010 15:32

No, I don't want her sacked.

OP posts:
HelenRosie · 27/10/2010 15:32

Personally I'd leave it as they have apologised. The letter doesn't read to me as though she has made you look like a liar and they have said that they will monitor her in future.

I supposed you need to weigh up what you want out of this. You've had an apology. If you'd like the driver to be disciplined then send a response.

overmydeadbody · 27/10/2010 15:33

I'd leave it.

She has lied, but the bus company have dealt with it. They don't think you're the liar.

There isn't any more that the bus company can do is there?

Just rant on here for a while!

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/10/2010 15:35

Indeed they have apologised and on re-reading, I think they are sort of saying 'yes, she lied' as they are going to monitor her, but a bloody travel card wouldn't have gone amiss would it?! :o

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 27/10/2010 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saffy85 · 27/10/2010 15:36

I'd leave it. If you did take this further what are you hoping is the outcome? To get this woman fired? Does she really deserve that? For being a little bit grumpy? I don't think she does myself. She obviously got a bollocking isn't that enough?

saffy85 · 27/10/2010 15:38

Sounds like my local bus company OP- charge the earth for only a short distance but I bet even if a driver beheaded you they wouldn't give a free ride Grin

Tootlesmummy · 27/10/2010 15:38

LOTF, I can understand why you would be fed up and angry but to honest I think I would leave it.
I think the bus company have taken on board your complaint and have written to you and apologised for her behaviour but I don't know what more they can really do.

They have said they will monitor her as well. If she continues to behave like this she won't have a job for too much longer anyway.

cat64 · 27/10/2010 15:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadyOfTheFlowers · 27/10/2010 15:43

MadamDeathStare has just summed it up exactly - that's what I felt - she has thrown it all back on me. I wanted to point that out to them. She has made me sound dramatic when I have not been. It's not 1910. Kids make noises on buses. Mine made 2 and I am threatened with the boot, into the rain, with 2 tots. Hmm

As the majority say leave it, I will leave it.

OP posts:
ZombieChickensHaveNoMercy · 27/10/2010 15:53

I would leave it, but if I ever got on her bus again she would get The Stare. I might also haughtily say 'Come along, DC. And remember that absolute silence is required by this bus service. What's that? You don't understand? Because you're babies?' etc etc. But then I can really hold a grudge.

LittleRedPumpkin · 27/10/2010 20:45

Sounds to me as if they are trying to say they know she lied and they've bollocked her!

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