to not care about my husband's day?

[YunoWhatYouDidLastSummer]

Dh works away. He phones every evening to talk to the kids.

Every evening I have to listen to the fine details of what this contract variation means to that contractor and why Building Regulation law means that this client is cross with the other contractor and blah blah blah.

After an exhausting day battling a willful toddler on every minute detail of his day, and entertaining a lively 4yo who is simultaniously knackered from school, and bored with no one to play with I just DON'T WANT to have to relive boring meetings about contracts that mean nothing to me and have to pass comment on what someone I don't know said to someone else I don't know.

If he has had a shitty day I will sympathise but I am going to scream if he doesn't STOP with the deathly details.

I don't give him a blow by blow account of what happened at toddler group.

How can I tell him nicely? OR do I have to continue with "hmm... really? Mmm... yeh... I see..." which I do whilst feeding the children, tidying up, running a bath, etc etc etc

maybe tell him blow by blow your day?

I feel your pain. I would have died of boredom if I were you.

I sympathise - very few people have totally fascinating lives to the point where you'd want to hear every detail. Dunno how you tactfully get out of it though. Tell him you only have three minutes so could he condense please?

He loves you so much. That is just adorable. Don't put him off, it's all because he cares about you. My Dh does this and I could cry with boredom (computer geek) but it is all because I am important to him.

I fear it's more that you are a Listening Ear.

He's lonely isn't he? Is your's a speaker phone? Can you tape yourself doing "Hmm, yes, really etc" and just leave it by the phone?

Yes put him on speaker phone so you can carry on with the cooking tidying etc
and pass the phone to your toddler too so they can chat

Love said's idea.
I automatically ask dh if he's had a good day, but then switch off. He does the same to me- I can see a glazed expression come over his face.
I have no real idea of what dh actually DOES all day - involves software of some sort.

If this was a man talking about how he didn't want to listen to the boring details of his wife's day, His blood would be all over this thread.

My partner is doing a Degree in Ancient History/Art History, when I come home from work she will talk to me about what she has learnt and to be frank I would rather shoot myself in the face than hear about it, BUT she is my partner, I love her, I support her.
So I act interested, ask questions, nod, smile and act like I care.

The same way she does when I talk about Miniatures or Comics or Heavy Metal.

I think YABVU in feeling that his day is "Boring" and coming on here and bitching about it.

Have you ever thought of the fact that he wants to share his day with you because he wants you to be involved with something which is a big part of his life?
Maybe he hates his job and speaks to you about it too let off some steam because he has no one else he feels he can talk to?

No your only concern is how BORING it is and how YOU want to scream.

Infact not only do I think YABVU I also think your a total bitch.

It does sound boring, but I wish I could get more out of mine than 'Yeah, it was work' yet when his mother phones he will tell her all about the training courses he has lined up to go on and how he is doing with his bonus/target etc.

I'm not sure if Nerdy is for real but...you've admitted that your girlfriend is boring and the OP does do all the polite noises stuff so, er, your're wrong.

YANBU My DP is doing a maths degree and he occaisionally launches it explaining every little detail about his day and it bores the pants off me but still I have to listen. You probably bore him sometimes as well.

My Dh does this. If I were to beleive everything he says he's a WORK GOD, who spends his whole life 'pulling people's nuts out of the fire'

I am tolerably amused and listen in good grace. It is dull, but he seems to need to unload.

I, on the other hand, wipe all memory of my day the second I walk out the door.

Maybe have two shorter calls in the evening; one for the kids and one for just the two of you when you're not rushing around.

I remember Vanessa Feltz saying she'd ask her husband how his day was and then immediately turn on the vacuum cleaner/liquidiser or something so that she couldn't hear his response.

She's divorced now, isn't she?

I don't see why you can't just tell him. I will say to dh 'what have you got on today? Just the highlights please'.

My dh is a software programmer and knows better than to bore me with this sort of stuff! Early on I would very politely look blank and say "sorry, you've lost me now". These days it's just that endlessly useful spaced phrase "aaaaand skip to the end ...."

He doesn't mind. I also don't tell him the tedious details of dd1's spellings, or how I Sorted Out the Toys etc etc

I think you need to tell him tbh.

Neither of us bore each other with details of meetings, people we don´t know, what we ate...

We are both interested in what the children have done, though.

My OH does the opposite - hes in the Navy and phones me a couple of times every evening - but has NOTHING to say, so resorts to telling me "he's knackered" .

I love him though and think he just wants contact with me.

DH does it too; he genuinely believes that anything he does is interesting, coupled with an astonishing adoration of his own voice! I now cut him short with "don't waste phone charges on this, tell me when you get home" by which time he won't have forgotten and will continue but I will also be sitting more comfortably, able to carry on with things without one hand stuck to phone etc.

My DH makes out that he's the hero of every crisis at work and there's apparently a crisis every day. Everyone else is either useless or not as good as him and he's also the funniest guy in the office! I know more about some of his colleagues (who I've never met) than my own friends...I just nod and smile as he recounts the exciting world of a Business Analyst!

However, if I talk about my day for more than one minute he begins to switch off!

I like the Roses and Thorns idea.

My DH does this too and I can leave the room, make a cup of tea/unload the washing machine/whatever and he'll just pick up where he left off.

In fact sometimes he will restart later in the evening 'so then I said to ....'. Just randomly, when we are watching some TV or something.

I do try to be supportive but sometimes it just gets too much. I have been known to go to bed early as this is the only way to avoid it .