Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Oh dear....Tesco seem to think I am really odd.......

16 replies

iLikeDots · 27/10/2010 10:28

I did post this in chat a few days ago, but nobody posted on it ! I need people to confirm this doesn't only apply to me , as I am starting to worry...............

I think its safe to assume that the majority of people have a shop points/clubcard and they also use the 'catch up' feature on the net or through the on the TV provided by the Sky etc.

When you get the 'rewards/coupons' from, say ,Tesco or when you go on a website like iPlayer and it gives you a 'For You' list based on what you last time, do you ever think ...

"Hell, this looks really bad on paper, what would people think of me if they only looked at these coupons and judge me

or!'

"How the hell has Iplayer come to that conclusion to recommend this crap just because I watched EastEnders. More to the point how does iplayer even link this to EastEnders in the first place, its just not logical!'

According to Tesco Clubcard I am : an alkie as once I had a coupon towards wine, the prob being it was bogof for two entire 6 bottle cases of the stuff not just 1 bottle.How much wine do they think I need! Alcohol
discounts are a common feature in the my ClubCard points so maybe I need to cut down.

Tesco also 'believes' I am a eldery old lady with false teeth and in need of packs of TenaLady 'pants'. The 'money off'part of my 'award' for loyal service, seems to think I need a ridulous amount of Sterident,TenaLadys and Diaerria tablets. I do blame my nan for this as she stayed here for a few weeks when ill and I was buying all this 'stuff' for her in such vast amounts that I could of opened my own care home.

Tesco is also under the impression I am a man or a tranvestite as the other month they sent me coupons for shaving foam and 'Just For Men' beard 'hair colour' WTF? I don't know anyone with a beard let alone a man that 'colours' their facial hair!

See what I mean? If this was the only info someone had to 'define' and so judge me as a person, I would have no friends tand people would go to great lengths to avoid me like the plauge!

AS for the catch-up TV channel services that I use,the website recommendations seem to think I would want to watch : something about discovering sex again and improving my 'moves' despite being in my 60's, a progamme about everything I need to know about steam trains at the turn of century, it has become clear that they think i have some kind of complusive/unheathy obession with Boris Johnston, as without fail it reccomends every prog he is in!

Considering i only iplayer stuff like soaps,and docummentries I have no clue why they think i would enjoy such things. How you can go from EastEnders and come up with the Boris showing off his bike in the cycle scheme I will never understand

If you were judged on your clubcard and iplayer history, what would people think of you???

OP posts:
storminabuttercup · 27/10/2010 10:35

I think you are possibly worrying about this a little too much. ;-)

sallysunflower · 27/10/2010 10:35

a Jeremy Kyle-watching-alkie

btw serves you right for watching Eastenders

3thumbedwitch · 27/10/2010 10:39

Finally got the gist of what you were on about and am slightly pmsl now, sorry.

My tesco clubcard vouchers pretty much reflected my normal buying habits, although they kept trying to flog me alternative brands when I had good reasons for buying the ones I did. So - YABa littleU, I think. [hsmile]

Chil1234 · 27/10/2010 10:40

I think if they looked at my i-player history they would guess the thing is hogged by a 10 year-old And I know what clubcard think of me ie. "Boring old fart". Because I don't buy much branded/packaged food I always get '£x off when you spend £x on fruit and veg', something off loo-rolls or spray cleaners and then they're a bit stumped what to offer.

senua · 27/10/2010 10:44

Who gives a stuff about what Tesco thinks of them. They are only a shop, with pretensions and a big computer.

"discounts are a common feature in my ClubCard points"

This is good. It is telling them that they are overpriced and you will only buy at lesser prices. Keep up the good work!Grin

potplant · 27/10/2010 10:45

They send you discounts for things you have already bought. And you are suprised by this?

MassiveKnob · 27/10/2010 10:53

pmsl

ShowOfBloodyStumps · 27/10/2010 11:03

You have put a LOT of thought into this.

I don't shop in Tesco. I get Sainsbo's vouchers through the post though and they are spot on. Always things I need/use. And they change. Used to get ones for baby things when dd was little and it evolves as our shopping does.

If you buy tena lady, they will assume you're incontinent. You should write to them. Explain exactly where they're going wrong. In detail. Post the letter on here first though.

GetOrfMoiLand · 27/10/2010 11:06

I refuse to have loyalty cards on the basis that Tesco will then know my habits, and will tell GCHQ about my buying 2 bottles of rose wine and two weeks later a pregnancy test, and all my foibles will be on a massive spreadsheets which will be given to the aliens come invasion.

Miggsie · 27/10/2010 11:10

Don't worry, Ocado just gave me a free bottle of white wine for being a loyal customer. Trouble is, if they had checked their records they would see I never order wine from them as I am a teetotaller. DH drinks wine but only red. Anyway I got the wine which was a £7 bottle so I'm going to give it as a Christmas present to a friend.

So I think, despite all this monitoring of our habits they actually are crap and whoever writes the "if you like this, you'll like this" algorithms are mad, bored, tired or never checked up on.

BabsH · 27/10/2010 12:06

I got a free box of chocolate from tesco last weekend, didn't last long - yum!!!!

The often send me vouchers for branded stuff when I mostly buy own brand which is so much cheaper that the money off the branded alternative still makes it more expensive, so a bit of a waste really.

iLikeDots · 27/10/2010 14:10

Thanks everyone! In hindsight my post does look like a the mother of all rants! oopps, I wil calm down.

I understand that clubpoints/vouchers are for items you have bought or buy a lot of. I also understand that Iplayer links progs with tag words/same type of tv show. Those I really do get.

However I am very perplexed in the "For Men" beard dye as I have never bought anything remotley like it. As for the Boris 'thing', I am totally stunned and will never know the answer of how exactly Boris and his bikes connects to a popular soap.

I can only conclude that they have mistaked me for someone else. Either that as someone in my family DOES have the hots for Boris, and creep downstairs in the dead of night and uses the TV OnDemand to feed their addicttion on 'all things boris!'

Ahh well, life is a mysterious thing [hgrin]

OP posts:
potplant · 27/10/2010 14:13

Boris Johnson was in Eastenders once Smile

iLikeDots · 27/10/2010 14:23

oopohhhhh cheers potplant [hgrin]. I never knew that ! It appears you have sloved 'the boris' vs eastenders situation for me.

Which still leaves us with the "Just for Men' that is really puzzling me the most.

Perhaps I sleepwalk to tescos at night and have a deep rooted need to grow a beard ! hee hee

OP posts:
MumNWLondon · 27/10/2010 14:26

they think i use a lot of nappies. which is true as DS2 is 6 months old and DS1 still wearing night time pull ups.

BoffinMum · 27/10/2010 15:34

My vouchers are for things like carrots and onions.

How boring am I.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread