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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be scared of going to see my dad tonight

26 replies

lokaku · 26/10/2010 15:49

I stupidly took out a loan at quite high interest that I couldn't afford to pay back and the debt spiralled. It got to a stage that I didn't even know how much I owed and I was getting more and more threatening letters from debt agencys/collectors etc.
Eventually I went to my dad for help and gave him everything that I had and he said that he'd look through it work out how much I owed and pay the relevent people/agency/company. I got text from him this morning saying its all sorted out and paid but to come round tonight and he will go over it all with me.
Suddenly I fee like a 6yo girl again whos got to go see dad for a telling off. I'm petrified although I'm grateful for what he has done and I will repay him all the money as soon as I can. but I feel scared.

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 26/10/2010 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NomDePlume · 26/10/2010 15:56

Stewie said everything I was going to....

ENormaSnob · 26/10/2010 15:59

Agree with SGM.

You need to devise a payment plan to repay the money.

Your dad has done a lovely thing for you.

needafootmassage · 26/10/2010 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Euphemyknifeinyourback · 26/10/2010 16:01

How wonderful to have such a supportive dad. :)
Take this as a learning opportunity: let your dad share his experience with you, and you'll come out of it a stronger, wiser person.
This is a great thing he's doing for you.
Before you go, do some serious budgeting and work out what you could offer to pay him back per week/month. Then if he suggests a figure to you first, at least you will be able to relate that to what you had worked out as reasonable, and take it from there.
Let us know tomorrow how you got on!

byrel · 26/10/2010 16:02

I thinks it good that you are afraid of going to see him because it shows that you have learnt your lesson. Devise a plan of repayment to your dad and if I were you I'd look at getting more hours or a 2nd job if you can so you can pay him back as soon as possible.
I'm afraid that you are just going to have to take your telling off from your dad and to be honest you probably deserve it.

ScaryFucker · 26/10/2010 16:03

I wish I had a dad like that [hsad]

I would take the telling-off on the chin, tbh

laweaselmys · 26/10/2010 16:04

Ask him to help you with a budget that you can do together not just for debt repayment but also your other costs to make sure it is manageable.

The budget guides in moneysupermarket come highly recommend.

Your dad did a lovely thing, I know it's tough to go back to your parents when you think you're past that but I'm sure it will be fine. He just wants to be sure it won't happen again.

roastedcashew · 26/10/2010 16:09

It was very kind of your dad but if you're on a low income it might have been better if you'd gone to a CAB or similar organisation. They have the authority to negotiate favourable terms with creditors like freezing interest or partial settlements.

I helped my friend go to the CAB in a similar situation and she was able to have her debt written off for a fixed fee and paid that off at a few pounds a week.

FoghornLeghorn · 26/10/2010 16:09

My dad has done the same for me before - I stupidly thought I could get away with just not paying my council tax Blush. My dad got us out of a real shit and I eternally grateful.

You must be pro-active with the repayment conversation, don't wait for him to bring it up. Being pro-active will show him that you genuinely do want to pay him back and want to get the ball rolling ASAP.

Good luck - it'll be fine - but you must taken the firm talk on the chin, you deserve it after all

beobelle · 26/10/2010 16:14

I've been where you've been and my dad bailed me out and I will always be grateful to him.
I also got a very stern talk from my dad about the need to control finances. I just took it or the chin and learnt from it as to be honest I was in such a desperate situation he could have smacked my bottom and I'd still of been grateful.

baildonwen · 26/10/2010 16:26

My brother got himself in a mess with debt companys so I know that it can spiral really quickly. He came to me and literally begged me to help him which I did and although I wasn't happy that he'd got himself in the position, I was happy to help him though. Afterwards I gave him a real bollocking but I did go threw how he should budget his finances better. Stay away from these loan companys they are sharks seeking to exploit people when they are vulnerable.

JodiesMummy · 26/10/2010 16:29

I wish I had a Dad like that indeed.

MassiveKnob · 26/10/2010 16:30

your dad sounds absolutely lovely.

Mine, I know would do the same.

ScaryFucker · 26/10/2010 16:37

JM, I have a chip on my shoulder about my father [hwink]

huddspur · 26/10/2010 18:55

I'm afraid you'll just have to take his bollocking advice OP.

Original poster
lokaku · 26/10/2010 20:36

I've just got back and he did give me a very stern talking to at first and we discussed repayment. Its going to take me about 18 months to repay him but I should be fine with what we agreed.

OP posts:
Meow75 · 26/10/2010 21:00

Glad it went well, and to everyone's satisfaction (given the circumstances, I mean)

spleenvent · 26/10/2010 21:02

Your dad sounds lovely.

anniepanniepears · 26/10/2010 21:03

great dad you are very lucky to have a dad like that

LoopyLoupGarou · 26/10/2010 21:03

Your dad sounds like a gem, you are so lucky. :)

zipzap · 26/10/2010 22:40

check out moneysavingexpert.com - all sorts of different guides on ways to save money, budget effectively, get good deals...

and sign up for their weekly newsletter too, will remind you on a weekly basis about good deals and ways to save. Plus just getting it is a good reminder that you are in money saving mode.

It's one of the few websites that you can spend as many hours pootling through as you can mumsnet GrinBlush

3thumbedwitch · 26/10/2010 22:44

My Dad is like that too - my sis got into all sorts of financial trouble and asked me for help (which I couldn't give) so I spoke to Dad first off for her and he agreed to help but only if he saw all her financial papers to see exactly what he/she was up against. She refused because she didn't want the "telling off" and has been in a mess ever since. He did agree to help her out with a loan that she repaid, but it's never really been sorted out properly.

SlightlyUndead · 26/10/2010 23:22

Your dad has been a 'dad' and bailed you out of trouble.

Now he has to be a 'dad' again and talk you through it so you don't make the same mistake again.

Fair play, I think. Hear him out, give him a cuddle and say thank you - he sounds lovely.

huddspur · 27/10/2010 13:34

Your dad sounds nice, mine would have given be a real rollocking.