to wonder what the point is?

[MumBarTheDoorZombiesAreComing]

Why do people say you should worry about the child who is good at home and awful at school??

Whats the general thoughts on this and why shouldn't you worry about a child who's perfect at school and awfully behaved at home??

No agenda here just genuinely interested.

I think it's generally believed that a child who is happy and secure at home will be comfortable enough to show their "bad" side, but will always make sure they behave properly outside the house as that is what is expected.

The other way around suggests a problem at home e.g excessive "disciplne", possibly abuse as they are too afraid of their parents/ guardians to misbehave and are more free at school to behave normally.

because normally it means they are socially well adjusted.

taking out bad behaviour on your parents and pushing boundaries is more normal than creating with strangers.

not easy to be on the receiving end of it though

There is very good reason. Children need to vent. Those who don't at home are generally more afraid of parents than those who don't. The fact that a child vents at home shows the security of parental love and is able to behave well outside the home because they have fair boundaries at home.
They are also more likely to misbehave at home, especially in reception because they have been so well controlled at school.

I have often heard this and altho DS is good in school he struggles with the social side of things. In the past they've been quite negative about his behaviour. At home he does whats he told or theres a consequence. I've often worried what people thought about this as I'd heard what I'd posted being said. I'm actually a little more worried now about what the school may have been thinking. . Either that or they didn't believe me when I said his behaviour was out of character [hgrin]

He's never seemed to vent but maybe thats because I can tell when he needs and energy release and we go to the park or for a walk

Mumbar, another reason they become disruptive is boredom with the work set. Is he quite bright?

Bright yes, aceademic no!!! (except Maths which he's very good at)

He struggles with the social side - the school have said his social communication is delayed (it is btw).

He's not 'disruptive' at school - actually this years teacher thought I was joking when I asked wbout his behaviour - just I am thinking now that if what I asked is true then it comfirms my suspisions that its something at school thats affecting him iyswim. I do think its the SC.