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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect SIL to stick to arrangements

4 replies

RuggerHugger · 25/10/2010 18:30

AIBU to expect SIL to stick to arrangements made with me.

My SIL(DH's sister)arranged with me yesterday to call over to mine with her DS and baby. DD was delighted as they never ever call & she was thrilled with the idea of getting to play with her cousin.

I originally thought great, SIL wants to make an effort. But then found out that her DH is on night, and I know she can't stay in the house during the day when he is sleeping - Yes, seriously, she isn't allowed( her DH is an ARSE).

Anyway, I only remember today that DS has his developmental check with the public health nurse( we are in Ireland)in the morning. So I rang just to tell her and that she should come up anyway and I'll pop out to the PHN with DS and we can have lunch etc when I get back, should only be gone for 30mins max.

SIL tells me that she needs to talk to her DH as he might have plans for them & will ring me later. Now if I hadn't rang her, I wonder when she was planning on letting me know!!!

What's annoying is that DD is going to be upset that her cousin isn't coming, which going on pass experience is likely.

I'm getting a little sick of making an effort with this woman and getting nothing in return. I do it to ensure my children have a decent relationship with their relations.

DH isn't bothered, he can't stand her DH and as a result has a distant relationship with his sister.

I'm also annoyed that I spent this afternoon baking for tomorrow in an effort to make her feel welcome in my home. Why do I bother!!!

OP posts:
Meow75 · 25/10/2010 18:39

Well, your last 4 words are the point really. Just because this is part of your extended family doesn't mean you have to flog yourself to death to try to maintain a relationship.

If you don't get something decent in return, then leave them to it, and court relationships with people who give a toss equally about you than you do about them.

GeekOfTheWeek · 25/10/2010 18:48

Don't bother then.

RuggerHugger · 25/10/2010 18:52

I guess I bother as I feel its important for my children in particular to have a relationship with their aunt & cousins.

I think because my family make an effort, I would like my DH's family to have the same involvement.

But, you are right, I probably shouldn't bother anymore.

Ah, well, lots more cake for me so.Smile

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 25/10/2010 19:01

If her DH is an ARSE, maybe he's the reason she's unreliable?

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