To really dislike my Nan?

[izzywizzywoowooo]

Cut a long story short. My mum is one of 13, Half ended up in care as she could not look after them properly. My mum suffered some horrible things due to foster carers, My nan has favourites and is so obvious about it.

For instance, My cousin has just had a little girl my nan is forever going on about how gorgeous she is, how good she is and how wonderful she is.

She has not once phoned me to say congratulations when I had DD 11 months ago...

My Mums family have a problem with drink (I Feel) I think it stems from their childhoods as what I have heard does not sound pleasant and rather abusive/neglectufl.

When I mention this to others people call me harsh as she is old (75) But I feel just because she has a few more lines on her face doesn't change the things she has done?

AIBU not to like her or should I forget the fact my mum had a shit childhood and the fact she only bothers with some family because she is getting on?

You are not being AIBU... and you don't need to like her but you need to not hope things will ever be different perhaps.

Sometimes you just have to write them off and just be polite when you have to have dealings with them... unless they are very cruel/rude/abusive in which case cut them off!

YANBU I also had a horrible grandmother and had very little to do with her as a result. You don't have to like anyone in your family just because they're family. On the other hand, being overtly hostile doesn't reflect very well either. Best to give them a wide berth, don't involve them in your life and don't get offended if they ignore you in return.

75 isn't that old. My mum is nearly 75.

There is no law that says you have to like your grandmother just because she's your grandmother.

YANBU, I don't particularly like my Grandma either, she's not a pleasant person and made it quite clear when my parents divorced years ago that she wasn't interested in maintaining a relationship with me.

What I find worse is the expectation from other family that I should be visiting her and want to spend time with her because she is old .

yanbu.

my nan practically brought me up as my mother was not really on this planet after my dad died. I adored her.

however my uncle is very bitter and really dislikes her, can't stop called her naes even now she's dead.

whilst she was a wonderful nan, i don't know how she was as a mum and whether his bitterness is founded. i can only go by how people treat me.

My nan is a nasty sly bully, I cut her out of my life nearly a year ago. I have nothing to do with her at all to the point I won't even acknowledge her in the street.

It's the best thing i've ever done

OP - YANBU

My gran is a mean, wicked manipulator. I've known this my whole life and now I'm 26 and have my own child I'm being strong and cutting her out of my life.

Some people look at me like I'm an alien when I say that I don't get on with my gran. Often it seems like people view all grans as being like the lovely sweet ladies from the Shreddies ad! That is sadly not reality for everyone.

I have very similar feeling about my mum, but I am very dutiful and have even invited her for Christmas.

yanbu, people can be toxic regardless of age or relationship to you.

Yanbu

Nice to see it isn't just me with a wicked nan! My nan on my dads side is lovely and treats all her kids/grandkids the same...

My nan has Fb (well the youngest grandaughter writes what she says) All day I have had to look at...
"Aww my little great grandchild, beautiful, brings a tear to my ect... I never even got Congrats!

So that is why I am now deciding to have nothing to with her! I cannot stand her and if I ever see her round the town I will be sure to run away... FAST.

It just annoys me how people say aww leave her alone she is old, Doesn't change how nasty she is/has been! Even at my uncles funeral it was about her!! As she threw the dirt on his coffin (his was buried with my grandad, was beaten to a pulp :( )

She said something along the lines of...
Happy now, You've got him. To my grandad FFS!

Getting older doesn't make a horrible person into a nicer one, and getting older doesn't give one the right to behave badly towards anyone, family or otherwise.

If this woman was younger, you'd have cut ties with her ages ago. Don't let her age be a factor in your decision.

Another one with an unpleasant grandmother here, and yes, I've cut ties with the nasty old bat