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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think the 'F' word is one we should be proud of......

736 replies

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 25/10/2010 15:18

Thanks to MN, especially dittany, Lenin, BoF and Anyfucker, I have been made aware of my casual attitude to misogyny. This short journey in my reclaiming my old values recently lead me to the London Feminist Network Conference on Saturday. And Oh my God it is one of the most inspirational things I've ever done.

Having money and being relatively attractive in my younger days I was mislead into thinking that being a feminist was irrelevant, after all we had a female PM and then 'girl power' where we were fooled into thinking with the right body shape and a little wit the world was our oyster (farm).

My husband's and friends' response to my recent activities have ranged from being mystified to mockery, from resentment to full on stereotypical prejudice. I am alarmed that barely any of my friends think feminism is relevant.

Am I being unreasonable to reclaim the word feminist to mean a person that wants to rid the world of gender prejudiced?

OP posts:
PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 28/10/2010 17:44

It was this morning Evil, I was apologising that I didn't respond last night because my friend turned up and we discussed the weekend and her her job(she sees lots of women escaping DV).

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EvilAntsAndMiasmas · 28/10/2010 17:52

oh for goodness sake - this morning? Lovely thought that you are re-reading the thread though sm :)

scottishmummy · 28/10/2010 17:56

why wouldnt i? have actively participated and found it really interesting.a good frank thread is always a winner.as long as people dont take it too seriously and get all gripey and grudgey

after all just words on a screen.albeit v interesting ones

i love a good verbose thread

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 28/10/2010 18:00

Gripey, Grudgey, mocking, piss taking, bitchy, nasty...all unwelcome.Smile

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scottishmummy · 28/10/2010 18:02

as is finding alleged slights and offence in everything

name calling compulsory on a feminist thread

EvilAntsAndMiasmas · 28/10/2010 18:03

Just need one more and I think we've got ScottishMummy and the Seven Feminist Dwarves.

PosieComeHereMyPreciousParker · 28/10/2010 18:09

You just can't resist it can you?

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dittany · 28/10/2010 18:14

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scottishmummy · 28/10/2010 18:40

dittany,if thats your subjective appraisal fair enough.i dont have to account for myself to you

dont think anyone on mn is horrible.the pov are words on a screen,a specific response in a specific moment.one cannot extrapolate too much else from it.

LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 18:45

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LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 18:46

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scottishmummy · 28/10/2010 18:50

like all of you i post because i want to.something catches my interst thats it

LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 18:50

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dittany · 28/10/2010 18:51

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mathanxiety · 28/10/2010 18:52

The 'words on a screen' defence is pathetic.

Back to Hecate's much earlier question -- I think a root around black feminist scholarship would reveal much to support the position that feminism needs and deserves a place at the table when discrimination is being discussed.

From 'A Black Feminist Statement'
"A black feminist presence has evolved most obviously in connection with the second wave of the American women?s movement beginning in the late 1960s. Black, other Third World, and working women have been involved in the feminist move-ment from its start, but both outside reactionary forces and racism and elitism within the movement itself have served to obscure our participation. In 1973 black feminists, primarily located in New York, felt the necessity of forming a separate black feminist group. This became the National Black Feminist Organization (NBFO).

Black feminist politics also have an obvious connection to movements for black lib-eration, particularly those of the 1960s and 1970s. Many of us were active in those movements (civil rights, black nationalism, the Black Panthers), and all of our lives were greatly affected and changed by their ideology, their goals, and the tactics used to achieve their goals. It was our experience and disillusionment within these liberation movements, as well as experience on the periphery of the white male left, that led to the need to develop a politics that was antiracist, unlike those of white women, and antisexist, unlike those of black and white men.

There is also undeniably a personal genesis for black feminism, that is, the political realization that comes from the seemingly personal experiences of individual black women?s lives. Black feminists and many more black women who do not define them-selves as feminists have all experienced sexual oppression as a constant factor in our day-to-day existence.

Black feminists often talk about their feelings of craziness before becoming con-scious of the concepts of sexual politics, patriarchal rule, and, most importantly, fem-inism, the political analysis and practice that we women use to struggle against our oppression. The fact that racial politics and indeed racism are pervasive factors in our lives did not allow us, and still does not allow most black women, to look more deeply into our own experiences and define those things that make our lives what they are and our oppression specific to us. In the process of consciousness-raising, actually life-sharing, we began to recognize the commonality of our experiences and, from that sharing and growing consciousness, to build a politics that will change our lives and inevitably end our oppression."

Sorry, quite long. But I think it expresses well the idea that you ignore a large part of oppressed women's experiences if you dismiss the mispogyny and focus instead on race or disability or other factors.
Here's a link to the whole article.

LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 18:52

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LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 18:53

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scottishmummy · 28/10/2010 18:56

frankly if you only seek same pov posts why post on mn?if the wish is to discuss a topic without digression or divergence then why dont you use pm or go to a members only forum to discuss feminism

post on open and discursive forum expect a range of opinions.you may likey or likey not

the suggestion seems to be some issues are so sacrosanct that the mere presence of alternative view cannot be tolerated

mathanxiety · 28/10/2010 18:56

Yes I do, LeninGhoul.

LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 18:57

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sallysunflower · 28/10/2010 18:59

I know I'm late but ROFL at EvilAnts's "Just need one more and I think we've got ScottishMummy and the Seven Feminist Dwarves"

comedy genius, and I don't mean to offend anyone by appreciating the humour Grin

LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 19:00

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mathanxiety · 28/10/2010 19:02

It's not a question of not wanting to see any other povs.

'Do calm down' or 'you do get all het up don't you' -- are really dismissive in tone. They are not argument and have no place in an honest debate.

If you can tell someone they're getting 'all het up' just by reading what they have typed, (their 'words on a screen') then you have to accept that others can also sense the tone of something you have typed on the screen.

LeninGhoul · 28/10/2010 19:03

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scottishmummy · 28/10/2010 19:05

but naturally you will ascribe positive and fair virtues on your own post.and deride and trash the opinion and posters you dont like

all the conspiracy theory and why she do dat,is classic self protection.big up and ascribe positivity to self. diminish and deride challenging pov

1st year psychology