to be cross at this casual sexism?

[whatdoiknowanyway]

First post although I have lurked for some time. Would really appreciate your opinions.
DD is 17 and just returned from a World Challenge training weekend.

I realise those with younger children might not have come across World Challenge yet. Basically, next summer she and 30 odd others from her school will be trekking in Borneo. They have to be mentally and physically fit, work well in teams and raise the money for the trip themselves. World Challenge is an independent company which facilitates these trips for many schools and other youth organisations.

Anyway, she is working hard at her part time job and is looking forward to the experience.

I was just a bit taken aback with comments made by their trainer (a 62 yr old man) over the weekend. Samples:
"Right I'd like the boys to finish unloading the kit and the girls to start cooking supper"
"You'll all have sewing kits but boys, if you are struggling I'm sure the girls will help you"
"OK, I'd like 2 strong lads to help me with this" - when challenged on this he amended it to "lads or ladettes then"

...and on handing out the emergency/rape alarm for the safety of the whole team "one of the girls take the 'girl' alarm".

I'm not naive, I know sexist attitudes persist but AIBU to think that a paid, trained employee of an established company providing (not cheap) services to youth organisations should know better than to come out with stuff like this?

Before being accepted onto World Challenge all the kids had to pass a fitness test and out on the trip will be responsible for carrying their own kit etc. There is nothing asked of them that a healthy 15-17 year old girl should be any less capable of doing than a boy - and vice versa.

I don't imagine this is going to have any impact on my daughter (far too sure of her own place in the world :)) but I just feel it is inappropriate in 2010 for a youth trainer to come out with this sort of casual comment and I don't think it should go unchallenged (by the adults, the kids already took him to task).
I wanted to send an email to the teacher organising the trip, first and last thanking him for facilitating the training weekend but also making this point. My husband thinks it's trivial and I should not bother.
AIBU?

Seems reasonable to me. Rape is more likely to occur to a female, not a male, and men are usually capable of carrying heavier loads than women.

I understand your concern, definitely raise it, but also recognise the roles that each gender plays in life :)

his age is not an excuse especially when he is teaching youn impressionable adults, he shouldnt be allowed to talk like this, if he feels this way he should keep his thoughts to himself nad out of his coaching

LessonsinL: Alarm was one single emergency alarm for use by the whole team - not just girls, not just in case of rape. And are teenage boys really so much safer from attack than girls? The number of young men killed on the UK streets seems to contradict this.

Men are capable of carrying heavier loads - I agree. However, as I said at beginning, the point is in this instance all the loads that needed to be carried were within the capabilities of all the group. Tall strong girls and small, weedy boys included.

There is a difference between recognising the roles that each gender plays in life and limiting your experience unnecessarily. I'm nearly 6ft tall. Should I expect a small, slight man to carry my bags for me just because I'm female? I thought we'd moved on from that.

Thanks again to everyone for their perspective.

I was coming on to say why not see if your daughter would be interested in writing a letter before you do so, but see DialM has got there first.

IME prats like this just keep on coming out with such nonsense without comment or criticism (not counting dissent from the students, as they are not "on a level" with him) because people are always scared to speak out or too willing to make excuses.

There is no excuse for suggesting that the girls cook for or sew for the boys. Or for suggesting that the alarm (for the whole group in case of attack I presume) is a "girl alarm" - it's not a personal rape alarm or everyone would have them FGS.

It's this kind of attitude that leaves boys starting at university staring hopelessly at the toaster/washing machine wondering when someone with a vagina is going to come along and do basic self-maintenance tasks for them.

I think you should make a fuss so that the boys in the group don't get the message that this sort of attitude is ok! That's the really important lesson here.

I don't think you should complain. I think if your daughter was bothered by it then SHE should complain. She is 17 after all - I don't think she needs you to make phone calls on her behalf any more, especially given that it's in the context of world challenge!!

I agree that you should complain. It is not ok for this to go unchallenged in 2010! I was at (watching only!) a 10k race recently and the male, 60+ commentator, every time a women ran in would say something like "well done love, hurry to the finish so you can get home and get the dinner on / ironing done" I was fuming but too gutless to say anything

Trixie123 it's never too late! Let us know what the event was and we'll all complain.

fucksake trixie! I would have been tempted to kick his legs out from under him and snatch the megaphone.

My dad is around this age (60s) and although I have always thought of him as a feminist, he seems to drop in more of the "lovely young gels" type comments in nowadays, presumably because he is "old" and can get away with everyone thinking it's acceptable from him.

These 60year olds were brought up in the 1950s and 1960s - you know, that time when the second wave of feminism was around? Not the 1820s.