be gentil of a dog nature.

[Scaredandalone]

I am sick to death of my family coming over and demanding my dog go out in the garden. My family are only scared of dogs because I was mauled by one as a child but I recently got over that fear and we now own a dog.

When I was scared of dogs I never expected people to put their dog outside. If I really could not handle it I didn't go to their house.

However my family demand I put my dog outside when he is normally behind a safety gate when guests arrive. But I think what bothers me most is I am doing them a favor doing free childcare and they dictate the terms of the favor by saying I will have to put the dog out. But waiting till a hour before they start work so they cant find anyone else so I have to ablige. I am very pissed off AIBU please tell me so I can either suck it up or put my foot down.

BTW he is a labrador and they screamed when he was a 8 week puppy which encouraged him to jump up.

I would tell them the neighbours have complained because it makes him bark so you cant do it anymore for long periods of time.

YANBU - your house, your rules

yanbu.

you are doing them a favour.

my ds1 is terrified of dogs, so we do not go to houses where there are dogs unless the owner offers to put them in another room. i would never expecct or ask this!

He does not bark they know that I dont expect them to sit with him he is kept behind a safetty gate when I have vistors so they have to choose to approach him.

Then don't put him outside. Just tell them you're not going to put him out but that he will be behind the stair gate. Simple.

Thanks right well I shall have a chat when childminding time comes up and I will say I will put him out this once but I wont do it again if they don't like it they are free to make alternative arrangements.

I think it is cruel and he gets bored out there and then destructive when he comes back in.

Agree with Mutt, your house your rules.
You've already been much more accomodating than a lot of dog owners would be by locking him behind a safety gate.
And I say this as someone who is not a fan of dogs in general so I'm not biased.

I know what you mean. But my lab is still a bit bouncy so I dont mind putting him behind the gate.

YANBU - and I say this IRRESPECTIVE of the fact that I am a huge lover of dogs. I'm just as much a huge lover of the "your house, your rules" school of thinking, especially when you are doing that person a favour.

Besides, to alienate a dog from visitors is to deny him essential social contact and opportunities to learn appropriate behaviour and will cause him to continue to be bouncy and want to get involved with the reluctant visitors out of pure curiosity. In extreme cases it could cause jealousy and insecurity, which IS where these visitors might have reason to be concerned.

A well socialised, well trained, well cared for and well supervised dog is no threat to society.

In this house the situation simply wouldn't arise. Anyone who had the view which your relatives take simply wouldn't be permitted into my house.

YANBU - the more supervised socialisation a dog gets with children , the more safe and nonplussed he is by them - but must be remembered that he is an animal that works off split second instincts and even the sweetest tempered dog can bite - given the right set of circumstances , as it sounds like you know to your cost. I have never left my or anyones children alone with a dog - and have always had one or more - and I always make sure they realise he is not a teddy or a toy - makes me absolutely cringe when people say - 'oh he is brilliant with the kids - they can do anything to him and he never bothers.

I always put my current dog out when young children come - but thats because he is an older rescue dog who I would guess has been abused by children as he seems very nervous of them and cowers when they approach him to stroke him etc - and it is very difficult to rely on young children to abide by the 'rule' to ignore him as they are fascinated - but as you have had no such problems with your dog and sounds like have had him from a pup then no YANBU.

You already put him behind a gate which is a more than reasonable extra precaution for a dog that after all has no unknown history or shows any signs of aggression. Many dog owners would not even do that with such a dog.

Just one other thing - I notice you say 'you have no choice' but to be a short notice child minder because they cant get anyone else. You do have a choice and you might like to look up thread about being 'put on' by family in this way as there was some excellent advise by posters which I have now put into practise and although I still help out is much more on my terms. Think thread title was Dont work so family thinks Im Gofor.

Your dog is part of your family. Why should he be banned from his own home? As others have said, keeping him outside, or behind a safety gate, will just make him more excitable, so it's best if he gets socialised. Of course, you should never leave even the most trustworthy dog alone with a small child, but as long as you are happy that he is no threat while you are with them, then I see no problem. As far as the family that take your generosity with childminding too much for granted, well if they don't like it, I'd tell them to find someone else.

Suda - what an excellent post!

I agree yanbu if the dog's behind a gate. And I also think it would be good for the children concerned to be around your dog to get over any fear - it's a shame to grow up terrified of dogs considering they are all over the place all the time.

I put my (bouncy goldie) out of the way when the dc's friends are around as he gets over excited. I do kennel him if mil comes to stay, but she is really phobic, and 82 so there's no point me thinking that might change. She's very apologetic about it, which helps a bit.

It's very ott to complain that you have to see a dog, or know that there's one in the house, even if there's no way it can touch you.

Thank You SKY. Though I say it myself I do know my stuff about dog behaviour and training etc.

If I could only say the same about men now that would be something ... [hhmm]

We won't let people with dogs bring them to the house while dd is little but I wouldn't dream of telling someone what to do in their home! YANBU

YANBU. I have two dogs and if people want to visit my home then they have to deal with that.

They are only bouncy initially when they are excited that we have guests, then they settle and behave nicely. Your dog is only young, I suspect he will do something similar. Keeping him behind the baby gate and away from guests is only (in my opinion) going to make him worse in the long run because he won't be used to interaction with people in HIS home, and he won't learn how to behave properly around them.

I don't take my dogs round to other people's houses without being invited to because obviously that is not polite, but it is your home, it is your decision for the dog to stay in.

I am so disappointed to find this isn't a thread in Middle English.

Me too Bunty :)

:) EvilAnts