to be a wee bit saddened by this?

[booooooooooyhoo]

was at the final session of my introduction to homebased childcare course yesterday and the subject of acceptable behaviour came up and whether we should accept behaviour from one gender but not the other. one participant suggested that obviously you aren't going to let a boy wear dresses but we let girls. a few of us stated that it wouldn't be a problem, it's normal, children dress up. she said "well it's alright once or twice but if they were doing it all the time you would have to say something" another participant agreed with her justifying it by saying, "otherwise they'll end up doing it when they're teenagers" i was glad that it didn't seem to be the general consensus of the group but still saddened to hear that these ladies are likely to be caring for little boys and spouting this stuff.

fruitstick..lol.

My DH won't carry my purse between here and the car incase someone thinks it's his .

Probably though he just doesn't want them to think he is such a cheapskate as it is from poundland .

mitochondira Actually me too.

To be fair spikey, as a bit off a goff the tracksuit etc is usually a good sign that they ain't going to like me much. And they may feel the need to throw abuse - or stones.

and this is why it's importnat to challenge the "pink is for girls, blue is for boys" thing. The "drills are boys toys and kitchens are girls toys". I have no problem with boys being obsessed with trains and girls covered in pink glitter but it has to be their choice, and it rarely is, I suspct.
When I was little I think I had quite gender neutral toys. I think my mum was quite disappointed by this, and so now ELC has a pink aisle and a blue aisle, she is in heaven for her GCs.

Me three.

My DD2 wears boys boxer shorts, boys clothes, has dinosaurs, monsters, cars and hates anything pink, princess or barbie.

I don't care what she wears or plays with, it's up to her.

YANBU. I remember parents being asked about dressing up and whereas people were quite happy to take their DD out dressed as a cowboy they were not happy to take their DS out dressed as a bride. It seems unfair to me that DDs get an entire range of choices but DSs don't.

I think people (mums in particular) are often liberal and relaxed about this with preschool boys, wearing dressing up clothes and playing with dolls, however, I really think that relaxed way of thinking gives way to worrying about boys who persist in playing with very girly things or wearing girls clothes above say the age of six, if only because they risk being massively bullied. I certainly know one mum who is very concerned by her son's large collection of Barbies aged 7, particularly as he plays a lot with my daughter, who is not interested whatsoever. I personally think he's fine, very confident and coping well, but surely only a very naive person would think this is unproblematic.

There's so much more to discuss than whether two-year olds should wear different clothes (like why they are so gender biased in the first place), although as this was a homecare course, perhaps they were only concerned with preschoolers anyway. But it's interesting to consider why something at two is fine, but not at eight or ten.

I don't mean I think playing with Barbies is problematic, more that other seven year old boys will notice it and think it is...

borders, have these people ever met modern emo teenagers?? They're ALL still wearing make-up [hgrin]

My husband was a "bit of a goth" when I met him, long hair, make-up, occasionally wore a skirt. This may be why it doesn't bother me.

Spikey - mine aren't 10 yet (5 and 4). I expect peer pressure will kick in soon enough. They are already telling me "pink is for girls".

It is more accepted for a girl to be a tomboy than a boy to be the male equivalent though, isn't it?

I know a foster carer who carries round two different coloured changing bags - pink for her girl charges and blue for her boy charges. VERY tempted to point out to her that, (a) there is no documented case of a changing bag making someone gay, and (b) the changing bag belongs to HER, not the baby. The baby is not implicated in her colour choice!

It is very depressing, it really is. Of course, onetoomanycornettos is right: most of us find it easy to be liberal with small children, but the real test is how we handle it later. Most of us (including me, and I am gay) worry terribly about protecting our children from others' prejudices, so we collude with all kinds of nonsense. How are we going to start turning the tide so an 8 year old can wear tutus, as well as a 3 year old?