to be really annoyed at H

[domeafavour]

he is away for the weekend, boys piss up.He left at 5am yesterday, just realised I didn't know what time he got back today,so text him, his flight gets in at 7pm!!I thought at least it would be midday or early afternoon
That's the entire weekend he won't see DS.

Now this is on top of a 10 day work trip, on top of a 3night work trip.

Also DS been poorly all week, I now feel like death warmed up, and DS is really playing up cos he is sick of being inside. I have no-one else to help

Our marriage was hanging on by a thread, I think it just snapped

see it's just one thing after another.
Now his mum in Australia is poorly and he might have to go see her. And DS's birthday is next week.
Sorry if that sounds bitchy, I am worried about his mum too,but it's just one thing after another!!

domeafavor is going to be OK; after every child that we have I have felt that the balance of our marrage had tipped for a bit on one side than the other, until it balances itself again. Feel at times that we are still swining to find the balance, but apparantly is normal when having small kids.

Just hang on there and try to get to know smb near you to talk to. Sometimes having smb to say that "everything will be ok", its all that it takes.

Well, he can't help his mum being ill but you need to tell him how you feel and how you will feel if he misses his DS birthday in these circumstances because he has to go over there.

I don't know the background but would that trip really be necessary? That's the question you need to ask.

I mean, if his mum is living alone, with no other family and is seriously, life-threateningly ill, then he needs to go.

If there's other family, and it's not that serious then maybe not.

And, whatever his comments about being 'out providing for you', if it's not working for you as a family, then it's not working.

You need to sit him down and talk to him properly.

If all else fails, how old is your DS? Could you pull him from school and all go to Australia for a few days if needed? At least you'd be together and your husband would be away from work.

Thank you.
He's just had another bad day at work, he's still there,so just had a chat with him about what we can do to find new job/alleviate stress. He is going to talk to his sympathetic boss. Problem is his 2 other bosses are a bit useless and just seem to give him more to do. My ds is 3 next week, but I start my new job on Tuesday!
His mum is on her own, no family. It's just been the two of them really. We will know more when she sees the specialist on Thursday. She might have to gave an op, not life threatening but she was upset , which makes him feel worse.

Well he is insisting that he is going thurs to Tuesday. He is going to speak to his mum this morning, but I think he has convinced himself.
I'm sorry but I just think given the state he is in at the moment flying 48 hours just to come back straight into work is crazy. I understand he wants to be with his mum. I don't need his support to start my new job, ds doesn't understand what day his birthday is on anyway, it's not really about that, but I just don't think it's right for him. Not making a big deal about it with him, just whingeing on here!

Well he's booking it. I tried to point out that he might be of better use to his mum in a week or so or if she needs an op, but he is insisting. £1200!

he must be really worried about his mum but that's daft to spend so much and only go for a few days