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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not buy my DH underwear?

48 replies

makeminemango · 23/10/2010 20:11

This morning my DH suggested that i buy him some new underwear. This was during a purge of his drawer when he was throwing out (hurrah) the old and holey. I kind of laughed before giving a firm negative. I'm not his mother . When he then said i should ask around, I knew exactly the place to ask for a quick poll. So, AIBU to not buy his briefs/underwear/briefs whatever you want to call them?

OP posts:

RevoltingPeasant · 23/10/2010 21:15

My DP buys very sober-coloured underwear, only from Next. I sneak into his undies drawer and replace them with bright pink and green pants with themed patterns (smily suns, road signs).

[hgrin]

marriednotdead · 23/10/2010 21:22

I am clearly sickoftheholidays mk II

Cannot remember DH buying himself more than a t-shirt in the 8 years we've been together.

He wouldn't have a clue where to shop for his given up cos he's married size and as he insists that only CK boxers are comfortable, have had to point out that he is wearing the largest size they do.

I don't see buying his clothes as a maternal thing, it's just practical for us. I know what suits him better than he does, and if anyone wants to know about anything he's wearing, he responds with 'hang on, I'll just ask my wife'

LittleCheesyPineappleOne · 23/10/2010 21:28

I don't buy any clothes for DH - he's a grown man and quite capable of buying for himself. It's a bit infantilising isn't it? He doesn't buy clothes for me. He's a bit of an M&S man, but hey... I love him.

The exception is xmas or birthday presents, when he might ask for one or two things, as I think he trusts my taste.

marriednotdead · 23/10/2010 21:43

I fell in love with the man, not his lack of taste in clothes.

He likes his 'new improved' look. If he could dress me better than I dress myself then I'd let him.

IMO you pool resources wrt what you're good at. He's a fantastic cook, I am his shopper/dresser.

HalfTermHero · 23/10/2010 22:38

I enjoy buying underwear for dh. I like picking out pants for him. I might be a perv

phipps · 23/10/2010 22:40

YABU.

He wants you to chose him some pants, what is the problem?

zisforzebra · 23/10/2010 22:58

I don't think my DH has bought himself pants in the 15 years we've been together. I always buy them. But, on the other side, he frequently buys me underwear and other clothes and he always makes great choices. He's better at dressing me than I am.

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 23/10/2010 23:11

sickofthe holidays and marriednotdead, our DHs must have been separated at birth

DH has NO IDEA about clothes at all and would happily wear ancient rags, rather than put in the time/effort to go shopping

I know all his measurements and he knows none of mine! I don't see it as a problem. I like to look after him.

mumeeee · 23/10/2010 23:19

YABU. What is the problem with guying your DH underwear? Sometimes I by h underwear and sometimes he does.It just depends on whose going near the shps or who has time. Also he sometimes buys stuff for me.

alarkaspree · 23/10/2010 23:25

I was thinking of asking this very question actually. Dh is always complaining that he has no socks. And I know that he would like me to buy him some. There's no reason why I couldn't, I am a SAHM and it would only be 5 minutes out of my way on the way to get the kids from school but I just don't want to feel responsible for buying my dh's socks.

Ragwort · 23/10/2010 23:33

No I don't buy my DH's clothes - he would like me to as he's very lazy about shopping but on the few occasions I have bought him anything it is always wrong - last time I got him some socks and they weren't 'the right sort'.

He is a grown man and can buy his own clothes, I am not at all bothered about 'fashion' or what he looks like and I would be horrified if he bought me any underwear - he did try and get us matching jumpers last week - fortunately I was able to convince him to change his mid.

worldgonemad72 · 24/10/2010 10:22

I get him new socks and pants when shopping, i dont see the issue? unless he is specifically asking you to go shopping to get them?

BaggyCoconut · 24/10/2010 10:30

I would pick up new underwear for DP if I was going shopping anyway. If however I am not and he wants some new ones he can go and get them for himself. It depends if you are going out shopping anyway really.

TrillianSlasher · 24/10/2010 11:03

If I was going to a shop that sold , and DP needed some , and he asked nicely, why on earth wouldn't I pick some up for him?

motherinferior · 24/10/2010 11:07

I once bought DP a shirt in a Boden sale. It was a nice shirt (collarless, linen, a bright pink that works with his colouring). Oh, and I got him a top at Uniqlo once. Because I was there, and I saw something that would suit him and it was cheap.

Apart from that, why in hell's name would I buy another adult's clothes? It's hard enough remembering to buy the Inferiorettes' socks and pants.

In fact I wouldn't even notice that he 'needed' new pants.

Bunbaker · 24/10/2010 12:53

"I don't buy any clothes for DH - he's a grown man and quite capable of buying for himself. It's a bit infantilising isn't it?"

I don't agree. My husband loathes shopping. I would go so far to say that he is almost phobic about entering a shop. He works from home and never ventures into town apart from going to the optician or the building society. I work near a large shopping mall so it is much easier for me to buy socks and underwear, so why would I expect him to do it?

ButtonAzure · 24/10/2010 13:01

Tell him to buy it himself on the internet

Fel1x · 24/10/2010 13:06

Depends why he asked you to buy them tbh!
If you are off shopping today and he is working then of course you shoudl get him some while you are near the shops.
If on the other hand it woudl require a special trip for either of you then he can go when he has time.

If DH was off to the shops and I said 'oh could you get me some socks please? i've had aa purge' I'd be v if he said 'i'm not your parent, buy your own socks'

Lauriefairycake · 24/10/2010 13:09

I buy all of dh's clothes - this is because when we go out together I want him to look human.

He has no interest in clothes and doesn't notice any new stuff - he puts them on and that's it.

I have no interest in increasing the wood pile and I don't notice the size of it when I go to collect wood - I presume it goes up and down occasionally.

Different strokes and all that.

janajos · 24/10/2010 16:31

I think if DH is prepared to buy my tampons, I should be happy to buy his pants!

janajos · 24/10/2010 16:31

I think if DH is prepared to buy my tampons, I should be happy to buy his pants!

Kiwiinkits · 25/10/2010 05:42

I recently read about a finding made by a marketing company that they should target the advertising of men's underwear squarely at women, because 9 times out of 10 the women do they buying. They found that the only time that married men buy their own underwear is when they're about to embark on an affair. So if your man suddenly starts buying new underwear, start asking questions! (Not sure if this is true or not)

Original poster

makeminemango · 25/10/2010 13:09

Thanks for all the interesting feedback. Thanks to PenelopeTitsDropped for your creative solution to both holey underpants and what to do with my toddler as the days get colder. I agree that it not an issue if I am off to do some shopping myself, though with full time work and 2 young kids time is a tad squeezed. There is sometimes the assumption that shopping is my job, which rubs me up the wrong way (he's from a conservative background). From all of these posts, i think our solution could be to go along together and choose our favourites for future reference .

OP posts:

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