A Cath Kidston factory vomitted on me. I deserve compensation.

[ShowOfBloodyStumps]

Just look at the state of me. It's stained. I've tried the carwash, Oven Pride, white wine vinegar. Nothing gets it out. I'm afflicted damn you. And with the bloody stumps, tbh, I'm a laughing stock.

I've grudgingly accepted it. This is how I look now. On the cusp of 30, tired, florally-challenged. What's more, I can admit that it will probably only get worse.

But if there's one thing you MNers can do for me. If there's a single, easy, manageable thing it's this.

Vote Stumps.

The Hallowe'en namechange competitions is as good as over wide open. Have sympathy.

I look this ridiculous so you don't have to.

Roll up roll up.

The Cath Kidston bag is within my reach.

If I had a reach. Which I don't. I have stumps. Stumps.

Except I can't play the violin as I have STUMPS.

I have been out walking this afternoon with my lovely red floral CK tote bag, containing all of DS2's medical equipment. Having a son with medical SEN means that I neeeeeeed a nice bag to put all of his gear in and not draw too much attention to it.

Oh clever you bramble.

I thought having a child in general would entitle me to some kind of CK paraphernalia but it turns out tissues, a plastic soldier and misshapen conkers don't require floral wrapping.

I do though. I really, really, really require it.

Beautiful chickens btw. We're moving house in a few weeks and we're getting a couple of pigs. V good life. DH wants chickens. We used to have a couple named Sam n Ella. They bullied my cat.

I bought a CK case for my iphone last week. I love it so much it has genuinely improved my life. I keep just getting my case out and stroking it with the doting smile I gave to my sons when they were born...sad I realise but god it's gorgeous...x

I don't really know what an iphone is.

Can I keep gingerbread and/or mint poppets in it?

The case that is, not the iphone.

Thank you for chicken loving. I now have seven - I adore them. More chicken ness on photos now, but not the latest three whom I must go an photograph madly with iphone - not in CK case but in one named 'darth maul' as it is black and red and bounces when dropped.

I have a CK card holder for when I set up in consultancy (fingers crossed, nearly through qualification). I am contemplating the pc case.

You prolly could display the mint poppets long enough for them to be consumed, but they would fall off as it is plate shaped but rectangular.

Oh Rasputia is my favourite. Beautiful chickens. Are they good layers? My brother's chickens are the most anaemic looking things in poultry but they lay ridiculous amounts of eggs. We have a rare breeds farm down the road and they have some extraordinary looking chickens. DD loves them, especially the ones with 'trousers'.

Apart from the kerazee poncho on my profile, the only other CK thing I own is a reversible sleeping bag (striped one side, flowers the other). DH bought it for me as a wedding present.

SOH you dont really want loads of Cath Kidston stuff do you?

I voted for you although why you want awful twee Cath Kidston stuff is beyond me

I do Jammy. I truly do.

You don't like CK? And you have such impeccable taste. You're cool though. I'm not. I need the whimsy.

I have a Cath Kidston mug with a chicken on it, you'd love it bramblebooks...

Just checked, it's neck and neck with only one day to go....

oooh rusty om nom nom.

Rasputia is a cochin and deigns to lay 2 or 3 eggs a week when she's in lay. She has a friend called mrs Doyle, who is a lavendar colour and very calm.

Father Jack hackett I must get a photo of. She is a lavender araucana and has so many feathers that she can't see. The beard and ear tufts can't help either.

They are pretty good layers. Bluebell and Wiggy are hybrids and lay most days. Tiggy lays blue eggs 6 days a week, shouting loudly to the neighbourhood each time.

I

Showofbloodystumps - I feel mint poppets may not survive very well in the case but a smallish gingerbread man would fit perfectly.

Oh God do they sell them in bulk? I can home my gingerbread men briefly before devouring them.

Gingerbread.

I've given up gingerbread and sweets and biscuits and cake etc until December. Haven't had anything pleasurable in my mouth since September. Theory being that in December I can eat what the heck I like and it doesn't count.

I like things with chickens on. Our key hooks, clock and chalkboard have chickens on them. DH keeps trying to 'break' them. He'll have a coronary when I've finally smuggled an egg hen into the house.

Bramble, your chickens names are inspired btw. I fear if we got chickens then Noon and Midnight our usually fearless felines would leave home.

I imagine that noon and midnight would learn the same healthy respect that my lils and mads have (or ninny and baddy as my kids called them when little). The sight of two formerly feral cats being chased round the garden by a terrirotial speckled hen is not one I'll forget!

I have just turfed Sheila, Mrs Doyle and wiggy off a perch and into the hen house. Don't these duvet-wearing ladies realise that outside is cold and full of hungry foxes?

(I'm sure that you will have realised that my lovely brown rasputia was named for a 'traditionally built' lady from an eddie murphy film ...)

lord, how much wine have I had?! ignore my spelling.