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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not like Dr Christpher Green's book?

44 replies

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 22/10/2010 21:58

Reading toddler taming at the moment. While I'm sure a lot of it os good advice & i'll try it, he is so sneery towards the 'pathetic' parents - the contempt he has for a lot of the parents who use his services is apparent. Also, he recommends smacking.
And that's only so far...

OP posts:
Original poster
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 22/10/2010 22:04

bump

OP posts:
bruffin · 22/10/2010 22:08

yAB very very unreasonable. It's plain good old fashioned common sense advice. It is not sneary but puts a lovely funny perspective on the problems of parenting.

My DCs have problems with febrile convulsions DS still getting them into his teens

His advice

"The odd fever fit rarely harms the child, just it's parents nerves" has kept me sane over the years.

doozle · 22/10/2010 22:09

Gosh, I don't remember him condoning smacking. Where was that in the book?

Hedgeblunder · 22/10/2010 22:10

Why are you Reading it?

JoBettany · 22/10/2010 22:13

I have read his book Toddler Taming and found there was some very good advice, although I am embarrassed to admit I don't remember him recommending smacking.

Do you mean he actually tells parents they should smack their children?

My excuse is, I read the book when DS was only about 6 months old and was so sleep deprived I could easily have missed it!

pigletmania · 22/10/2010 22:24

YABVU I really like Toddler Taming, he is a qualified expert in the field and knows what he is talking about. I love his section on tantrums and the supermarket special. His book is good and humerous at the same time. He does sympathise with parents who are pushed over the edge that they smack, but dont think that he recommends smacking.

Original poster
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 22/10/2010 22:30

He starts off by sympathising
Then he talks about time out in their room, all fine, I agree, but then if they reappear, try a smack. Same for a tantrum in the supermarket - if nothing else works, try a smack.
And he keeps going on about how manipulative toddlers are. I know what he means but the hate running through this book is unnerving me.
Hedge - it was recommended on here. I have an older toddler and a younger toddler.
Oh and potty training - any time after 15 months, but even after 2 years would not concern him!

OP posts:
JoBettany · 22/10/2010 22:35

I think it must have been a different book that I read!
I don't remember this author being hateful just very funny.

Original poster
SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 22/10/2010 22:37

might go and check the publish year
He definitely calls parents pathetic at one point ("these pathetic parents who do X and Y..") and there's another extremely unflattering comment.
I'm sure he's very good at what he does, but I wouldn't want to meet him at a party or trust him with the care of my DCs.

OP posts:
parakeet · 22/10/2010 22:39

Re smacking I got the impression he was deliberately neutral about smacking - saying that different parents felt differently about it, and while he did not recommend it, he did not condemn parents that do smack - with all the usual caveats.

I really don't see the "hate running through the book". The most useful lessons I have taken from Christopher Green have all made me less strict. Like: not wasting time worrying over whether they finish a meal, taking a step back to see the bigger picture, and, most important of all: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

doozle · 22/10/2010 22:39

Am sure mine doesn't say stuff like that. Will check it tomorrow.

bruffin · 22/10/2010 22:40

Definitely nothing hateful in it.

tassisssss · 22/10/2010 22:41

I picked up on the sneery thing too and I couldn't do controlled crying. Just wasn't for me.

Meglet · 22/10/2010 22:43

I have just consulted my copy of TT (2006 edition) and he has a paragraph titled "Why smacking doesn't work". He doesn't like it at all. Confused

bruffin · 22/10/2010 22:46

Some parents are pathetic what's wrong with saying say.

scottishmummy · 22/10/2010 22:48

sneery?nah straight talkin with common sense

NickOfTime · 22/10/2010 22:54

i love christopher green. Grin
i loved toddler taming.
i always recommend it to people who might be getting a bit too angsty or fluffy about the whole parenting business.

i don't recognise the book you are describing at all.

my favourite recommendation was a friend who i lent the book to, who shamefacedly returned it about three month's later with a huge bite/ shred hole in the back cover where her toddler had attempted to destroy it in a rage. Grin i laughed for weeks. she was mortified.

pigletmania · 22/10/2010 23:00

No sorry op never got that sneering or hateful tone from the book, he was just writing it in a lighthearted and jokey way, and mabey you just do not get his dry sense of humour. Toddlers are manipulative, he is right mine certainly was, tears and tantrums if she does not get her own way till eventually you break and give in and they have got what they want.

pigletmania · 22/10/2010 23:02

I actually felt that he was talking to me, and telling me that what i am feeling was normal and dd behaviour was all part and parcel of being a toddler and that it was all fine. I found the book really reassuring.

springlamb · 22/10/2010 23:02

I always loved the thing about tying a rope from the bedroom door to the bannister allowing the door to open just a few inches. To be used when They will not stay in the bedroom at bedtime.
'You are not actually locking them in, they just cannot get out'.
Many an evening DH and I have spent rolling around on the floor in mirth.
And you still have 'Beyond Toddlerdom' to come.

springlamb · 22/10/2010 23:03

DS will be 16 next month and DD turns 9 and I still have them on the shelf.

parakeet · 22/10/2010 23:03

He even makes it possible to do Controlled Crying in a very very fluffy, light way.

MoralDefective · 23/10/2010 00:01

20 years ago i was given 'Toddler Taming' by a friend.......it was brilliant then and is brilliant now....

BertieBotts · 23/10/2010 00:22

I don't really like it either. I prefer How To Talk.

fortyplus · 23/10/2010 00:55

Totally brilliant provided that you accept that some things (eg smacking) have moved on since it was written.

I loved the bit about taking a dummy away - when parents say yjey can't get the dummy away from the 3 year ol;d - and he says what's the kid going to do - take the keys of the family Volvo and drive down to buy a new one?!

Kept me sane on many occasions!

If you're a hands on, down to earth parent you'll love it - if you're errrr... pathetic... you'll hate it! Grin