Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be a bit miffed with DD's teacher?

9 replies

SecretSlattern · 22/10/2010 13:40

DD1 was due to go on an outing to the cinema this week and the teachers put out a letter asking for parent helpers. DD1 asks DH to go to the cinema with them, is very excited and persistent, so DH agrees that yes, he will put his name down to attend.

DD1 came out of school on Wednesday afternoon holding a letter. She was very upset when she came out of school, was sobbing (DD1 isn't a big crier, she is more gobby than anything!). The letter basically said thanks for the offer of help but you're not required on this trip.

The problem I have with this is that DH had to arrange time off from work to be able to attend the outing. I think the school has BU in only notifying us that he wouldn't be required to attend the trip the evening before. I am also annoyed that DD1 was allowed to come out of school in the state she was in, with the letter. I think it could have been handled better.

DD1 was refusing to go to school on Thursday but as DH was off from work, he took her in to school which she was happy with.

I've explained to DD1 that although it doesn't seem fair and it is very disappointing for her, but unfortunately in life we don't always get what we want.

I think the teacher should have let us know earlier that DH's help wouldn't be needed so as he could have cancelled his time off and I also think it was inappropriate to pass a note through DD1, especially when she has told the teacher how excited she is that daddy was going with them. We were informed of the outing about a month ago so plenty of time to make other arrangements or for the teacher to let us know I think? I know they're busy people, but she had time to type up and sign this letter when a quick mention in the playground would have IMO been better.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 22/10/2010 13:44

They do not have time to locate and speak to every child's parent in the playground in this kind of scenario.

I guess they didn't finalise the parent helpers until that day.

muddleduck · 22/10/2010 13:50

It sounds like your school deals with this in the same way as most schools do.

They ask for volunteers and then confirm later on. TBH I think they assume mos tof the volunteers are SAHMs who don't need any notice Hmm

TBH I think YwereBU to assume that he would definitely be needed. But they could have explained the process better.
In similar situations DH has told the school that he wants to help but need to know immediately so he has enough time to book time off work. They usually accomodate this.

SecretSlattern · 22/10/2010 14:00

Thanks for your comments. I agree that teachers do not always have enough time to talk to all parents so yes, perhaps I am BU to think she should have approached us rather than passing a note through DD1.

And I accept that it is probably U to expect that he would definately be going, but in my defence (there is always a defence on AIBU Grin) it is always the same parents who offer to go on these things and it is always the same parents who do go. DH attended every school trip last year, it is his contribution to DD's school life, whereas mine is washing, drying and ironing uniform, listening to her read everyday, doing homework, spellings, school run etc etc Grin.

OP posts:
PaisleyPumpkin · 22/10/2010 14:08

I think they do presume that those volunteering are available (without having to take time off work).
Maybe the thing to do, if it happens again, is to say early on to the teacher that he's happy to be a helper but can they let you know so that he can rearrange things with work.

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 22/10/2010 14:11

is your DH already CRB checked? because if not they would take those who are - no helpers at all on school trips now who are not CRB'd

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 22/10/2010 14:12

crossposts - isee Dh has been on lots of trips already,well in that case surely its not such a big deal, they just had more helpers than they neeeded this time round

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice · 22/10/2010 14:13

I see, is what i meant by isee

JamieLeeCurtis · 22/10/2010 14:23

I've explained to DD1 that although it doesn't seem fair and it is very disappointing for her, but unfortunately in life we don't always get what we want.

I think this is the way I would answer your OP

JamieLeeCurtis · 22/10/2010 14:33

.. sorry that sounded a bit blunt - though I did mean it

I wonder if the teacher would take your DH anyway (IME, they need all the help they can get on trips) if you explain he has taken the time off work?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page