to not bother ringing this friend?

[blackwell]

We've been friends a long time, since school, but it has always been up to me to do the running and arrange things. Frequently I have tried to arrange things and she hasn't bothered responding ('ran out of credit' - ) I decided to not contact her since I moved house, and see if she contacted me to ask how the move went etc. Today got a text saying 'Can't believe you haven't rung me yet!'.

AIBU to think, 'if you want to speak to me, ring me yourself you spoilt child'? I do like her, but am fed up with expected to be the proactive one all the time.

I had a friend like this. She had a problem with my DH, really upset me, so I decided I wouldn't ring her and I would wait for her to ring me.

Guess how long I waited?? TWO YEARS. She eventually got in contact and was quite apologetic about the whole incident but I don't have much interest in being friends with her any more.

Why don't you send her that text - If you want to speak to me, why don't you ring me yourself? and see what the reply is?

i would reply saying "sorry, very busy at the moment, why didn't you ring me?"

I'd probably just text back "Ditto".

You're being a bit passive-aggressive but not unreasonable. You could try telling her you don't actually like being the one doing all the calling so from now on you're not going to. If it's been like this for ages she probably thinks you like it this way too.

I have a confession to make, I am one of those friends that takes forever to call you back I'm just so forgetful when it come to remembering dates, appointments, length of time since I last spoke to someone. I have apoken to my friends and warned them about this, and I really do try to be better at it! However, if I start slipping, and it annoys people, I'm always greateful when someone (tactfully) reminds me :)

Might be worth pulling her up on it. If she's genuinely forgetful and really doesn't mean to dump all the leg work on you, then she probably doesn't realise that it's annoying or upsetting you. However if she just brushes it off with more excuses, then the friendship might not be worth all the effort you keep having to put in.

I do like "ditto". You've got a few things on your mind, moving house, after all!

It is considerate to give space to someone who is moving house, but it is also kind to then get in touch to let that person know s/he has been missed. Not "Can't believe you haven't rung me yet.

FFS, what a waste of a text, when she could have written instead: "Missing you - looking forward to seeing you, in the new house or away from the chaos - whichever more convenient for you!"