To not want to take ds (4) along to his first parents' evening

[deaconblue]

We are expected to bring our children along to the parent's eve. I fully understand the point of taking a teenager along to hear about their progress but a slightly barmy 4 yr old boy? I may "forget" him

Maybe it's so they can sort of talk to them too, like showing them they are telling mummy X/Y/Z etc. OUrs was at 8.30 so DS was tucked up in bed :)

We have the option of bringing them. It worked for mine once they reached Y2 as it was helpful for them to see me taking an interest and they were cornered by me and the teacher with no scope for fudging the truth!

As an ex teacher (secondary),I used to hate it when parents brought their kids along. I like to be brutally honest about their strengths/weaknesses and you can't really do that if the wee chap/chapess is sitting there in front of you.

My DS1 had his first parents' evening last night. I didn't bring him and thus the teacher and I were able to discuss something irritating that he does without having to coat it with lots of positives for his benefit. Considering that you only get 5/10 minutes, I think it is easier to be able to cut to the chase.

I prefer to go on my own (with husband) and mine are Y2 and Y5.

I never liked taking mine so when DD2's new teacher in P5 insisted on children being there I told him no.She's 15 now and I still don't take her to parents evenings the clue is in the title 'parents evenings' DS is at a special school and has annual reviews which he has to attend but only for 10 minutes you can't be honest wth your child present.

I also agree that if you genuinely have things to discuss, it's easier if they are not there and you can directly talk about their personality/behaviour/problems without having to sugar-coat it. If they are doing absolutely fine, I don't see it hurts to have them kicking round the classroom. I've done both and it works fine either way (and our reports are always so bland, I never learn anything anyway).

When I've needed to bring the DC along the teacher put on a story tape with headphones in the classroom so he didn't hear what was being said.

We are encouraged not to bring them, and I never do unless I have to.

I wonder what the teacher's got in mind then?
If I wasn't anticipating any particular problems I'd probably just take him if that's the way they do it.
Although I'm glad it's not the way they do it at DD's.

Maybe they want the children to be able to show the parents what they have been doing.

I had parent's evening yesterday (without DS) and he would have loved to have been able to show me around his class & all the things I looked at in his books.

WE have parents 'afternoon' which is a nightmare for people weho work and people with lots of children!! Crap all round.

"I could not be as frank with child present."

I could. I think it does the child good to hear there is a problem and hear his parent(s) sorting it out with the teacher. Why hide problems from the child? They have them, they need to know about them and they need to deal with them. There is also the fact that the child can disagree with what is being said without all the "he said/she said" nonsense.

There is always the option to go and speak to the teacher privately if you want to hide stuff from your child.

but not a 4yr old, they dont need to hear when there are problems or issues. You cant be sure how well they would handle it

We have the opposite - no children can be present. Which does present a bit of a childcare issue, so in that way you're lucky!

We are encouraged to bring our dc's to parents evening.

It works alright for us as it means dh can come too and the ds's are both doing well so I think it was good for them to hear their teachers being so positive about them.

I agree however, that if there are problems to be discussed, I would find it easier to do so without my child present.

The children are supposed to come with us for parents evening, just to look through work. It's actually nice to be able to go through my dd's books with her and she'll point out stuff on the walls etc. But, for the actual ten minute consultation with the teacher the children stay back in the classroom while the parents are taken into another area.

I think it is nice for DC to be able to show you their work etc. but they should have a seperate open evening for that and parents evening should be for parents.