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Original poster

to just throw all the dummies away

37 replies

driedapricots · 21/10/2010 19:45

dd 2.9 - completely addicted to her dummy. worse recently since birth of ds 3 months ago, but this habit has to be broken now. she's a wingey little madam anyway so should i just chuck them out - do the 0ld dummy fairy thing...and find the strength to deal with the fall out...which will be mammoth. or will this psycologically harm her forever more?! it's all or nothing bcos if i have them in the house i know i'll give in and give her the blasted thing - bit like trying to give up ciggies!
has anyone taken this approach (with a VERY strong willed toddler)??

OP posts:
MrsMellowdrummer · 21/10/2010 19:52

We got rid of them when my (also very strong willed) son was two, in a cold turkey kind of way. Posted them in a soggy envelope to the dummy fairy, and had a little parcel of books ready as a present in return. Whenever he felt the need for a dummy, we snuggled up together and read one of the books instead. I thought it would be hellish, but it actually only took two or three days, and you would never have known they had even existed. Prior to that he had the worst dummy habit ever - usually had two or three on the go - sometimes all in together... [shudder]

DeadBodyofKaraStarbuckThrace · 21/10/2010 19:59

'usually had two or three on the go - sometimes all in together'

My DS is like this, he HAS to have one in his mouth and one in his hand! I'm thinking about going cold turkey at Christmas - he'll turn 3 2 days after Christmas day, so my plan is to put his dummy's on the Christmas tree on Christmas night, and there will a special present from the dummy fairy the next day, plus his birthday the day after. Am thinking they'll be loads of distractions so it won't be so difficult for him.

Good luck driedapricots! Smile

Original poster
driedapricots · 21/10/2010 20:06

i've thought about xmas but then talked it through with dd and now she's terrified of santa and doesn't want any presents. i said to her the other day, 'just put your dummy somewhere for the day and have it at night. how about here/there'...'no' she said. 'where would you like to put it all day then' i said. 'In my Mouth' she said :)

OP posts:
AmazingBouncingPoltergeist · 21/10/2010 20:11

Do it.
My DS was 3 when we got rid of his. Gathered up all the ones we could find and hid them away on top of the bookcases.
The first night was awful, trying to get him to settle down and sleep was a nightmare, hearing him sobbing that he wanted his dummy. Sad
The next morning he woke up with a grin on his face and confidently informd us he would cry and shout at bedtime again but he didnt, that was the last we ever heard him ask for a dummy. Even when DD arrived a couple of months later and she had a dummy, we had no trouble at all.

TattyDevine · 21/10/2010 20:12

Awww I like dummys. None of mine would ever have them.

But the vitrol you get once they are past 7 months, they may as well be fags Grin

Its crazy

catherinemummy · 21/10/2010 20:48

DD1 had a dummy - just at bedtime. We were debating doing dummy fairy on her 3rd birthday. Went to a farm a couple of months before and she gave all her dummies bar one to the baby animals. Then 2 weeks later informed us she didn't want her remaining dummy as it wasn't "tasty" - had developed a hole so collapsed each time she sucked.

Wish we had tried the hole earlier...

DD2 uses her thumb but I don't think we can try sticking a hole in that or giving it to baby animals Wink

IggitheImpaler · 21/10/2010 20:49

Do ANY children ever just give them up themselves, like self-weaning? (Crosses fingers)

IggitheImpaler · 21/10/2010 20:49

Do ANY children ever just give them up themselves, like self-weaning? (Crosses fingers)

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 21/10/2010 21:02

With DD1 we talked for a few weeks about the dummy fairy and when she was ready I would phone her and she would come. She then announced that actiually she was a big girl and didn't need a dummy anymore. Dummy fairy came and brought clothes for barbie and she's been fine.

DD2 however.... I'm not looking forward to that battle.

I do however strictly restrict dummies to bed and nap time only for both dd2 and dd3

ChocFudgeCake · 21/10/2010 21:17

Both my two boys gave up their dummies at 6 months Shock
But my 1 year old now is still with two on the go. I should just hide it during the day and give it for naps... And one day make a hole on it Smile

rpickett · 21/10/2010 21:17

I must admit I was a very mean mummy and the night after my DS1's 2nd birthday I gathered them up and binned them, cue a few terrible screaming tantrums at bed time and eventually he accepted it and went to bed without any fuss(although he only had them at night so may not be so easy for some people), yes I was mean and it broke my heart watching him be so unhappy but he sleeps better now too as he doesn't drop the dummy and wake himself up looking for it.

ChocFudgeCake · 21/10/2010 21:18

And sorry, yes, you can just get rid of all the dummies. Your DD will be ok eventually. Best of luck

fivelittlebunnies · 21/10/2010 21:28

We did dummy fairy at easter for our then 2y 9m twins and 4y10m dd. We were keen to get them all off dummies before new baby in May. I had visions of them all sharing dummies! We knew the time had come when dd took a dummy she normally saved for bedtime to school and had a little go in the classroom!! Very embarrassing. Result twins just went straight to sleep first night and never asked for the dummy again which we were gobsmacked with as they were both huge addicts (two dummies in mouth at once kind of addicts). Dd took 3 nights to get over it but then was fine. Don't give them up to soon out of guilt though they are there to help you. People can be such snobs if they didn't use them.

TheSmallClanger · 21/10/2010 21:28

A friend of mine was a nanny and did this. She just chucked the child's manky dummy in the bin and didn't replace it.
It was forgotten about within two days.

Theincrediblesulk1 · 21/10/2010 21:42

Chuck them, dont do a song and dance about it! just bin them lol

GingerCursedEeeee · 21/10/2010 21:49

"she gave all her dummies bar one to the baby animals" - think of the poor mummy animals who would then have had to wean their DCs off the bloody things! :)

Theincrediblesulk1 · 21/10/2010 21:57

loooool

IMoveTheStars · 21/10/2010 22:01

We're doing the dummy fairy on DS's 3rd birthday, as far as he's concerned 3yo's can't have dummies, so they have to go.

I'm going to have to actually post them though, so I don't crack :)

onceamai · 21/10/2010 22:06

Took DS's away at Xmas when he was 4. Father Xmas senta letter advising it a good idea. There was a wonderful book around then about a family where the mother and dummy disapproving granny (I think) buried all the dummies in the garden and a noo noo tree grew. I think it was called the noo noo. Sounds daft now but it was very apposite at the time and I remember it well.

DS didn't go to sleep again before 10pm - ever Blush. Still 15 now and seems to have done no lasting damage.

Didn't let dd have one but she cried for three and a half years instead Shock

Looking back I think we stressed too much. They give them up soon enough, ie, when the other kids laugh.

ElusiveMoose · 21/10/2010 22:22

Hi apricots, no advice to give, but watching this thread with interest. I also have a VERY strong-willed and generally high maintenance toddler (now 3.1). I was hoping to give up his dummy before now, but it didn't seem fair to do so around the time the new baby was born (now 8 weeks old). I've told him that January is when he's going to stop having it. Trouble is, he's become more dependent on it since the baby's been born (he only supposedly has it for sleep times and when he's really upset about something, but we're experiencing a bit of 'dummy creep' at the moment). I'm totally dreading it, but as far as I can see, cold turkey is the only way to go (for us, anyway). I'm reassured by the fact that we've just done potty training the same way - he'd always flatly refused to 'try' the loo or potty, so in the end I just stuck him in pants one day and threw away all the nappies. First week was hellish, but it's totally sorted now Smile. I'm hoping dummy removal might go the same way (hopefully in less than a week Grin). My main worry is not sleep times, but 'upset' times - he has a tendency to get totally hysterical from time to time, and he can't seem to calm himself down except with his dummy. If he doesn't have it for some reason, he just screams until he's sick.

BeccaandEvie · 21/10/2010 22:27

We got rid of E's dummies shortly after Christmas last year (she was 2.8). She left one at nanny's house and we 'lost' the others - in the bin.

2 nights of tears at bedtime but she got over it pretty quickly. Never looked back.

aristocat · 21/10/2010 22:30

we went cold turkey with DD ages ago. it was the only way - the dummy she liked was from M/Care and they discontinued them. she used to bite the dummies and so made holes in them and they didnt last very long.

there was tears and tantrums for a few days but it will soon be forgotten Smile

Good Luck

onestepforward · 21/10/2010 22:45

I tried to put holes in dummies and cut them down and the 'guide' said once they can't suck them they won't like them... hmmmm... 5 days later and barely 5mm of stub remaining and DD was still somehow sucking on them! Reckon cold turkey is the way forward.

DD is 2.3 and am convinced she will drop her daytime nap without the dummy so not doing anything until I can face losing my precious 1-2 hours lunchtime relaxation!

IMoveTheStars · 21/10/2010 22:55

I reckon the time to drop dummies is when they've dropped their lunchtime nap, so you only have the one battle a day..

It actually gets easier once they don't have a nap (in a weird way)

ZENZIZENZIZENZIC · 21/10/2010 23:49

Dummy fairy visited in this house.

Stroppy DS was just a few days over 3, he had to leave his dummy under the pillow and the fairy exchanged it for a gift. We talked about it extensively beforehand.

We threw away every single one of his dummies and got a dummy chain for younger DD, so he couldn't take hers.

Day or so of asking the fairy to leave them back, but now he says he's a big boy and the fairy can give them to other baby boys and girls.... Smile

I'm sure they'd be delighted with his manky dummies!