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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it odd that both of my dcs have been given 'presents' on ds1 birthday?

16 replies

sheeplikessleep · 21/10/2010 16:24

Received a parcel today and it's DS1 birthday tomorrow. It's addressed to both DSs, so I've opened up the parcel.

There is a present for DS1, fair enough.

There is also another present in it for DS2. I think it's only clothes, but am I alone in thinking this is a little weird? I've hidden this present, as it feels a little 'unfair' on DS1 for his younger brother to also be opening presents tomorrow. I'll give it to him another time.

OP posts:
HeadlessLadyBiscuit · 21/10/2010 16:29

One of the mums at my CM does this with her children so they don't 'feel left out' when it's the other DC's birthday.

I think it's bizarre to not teach your children that we all have a special day

Firawla · 21/10/2010 16:30

well some people do that so im sure it was only meant as a kind gesture. if you feel happier then save his present for another day, no harm done.

Original poster
sheeplikessleep · 21/10/2010 16:30

I agree, it's life isn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
sheeplikessleep · 21/10/2010 16:32

yeah, i'm not annoyed or anything and i do appreciate the gesture. i just find it a bit weird.

OP posts:
HillyMcGrew · 21/10/2010 16:35

My parents always gave me and my siblings one gift on each other's birthdays. It was actually a really great thing to have as a child, and quite sweet that they still do it now. They were never huge gifts, just a token parcel we could unwrap.

PrettyCandles · 21/10/2010 16:39

I've done this with some of my dc on some of their birthdays, depending on the age and understanding of the particular child. My parents do it for all my dc, on all of their birthdays, even though I've explained that it's no longer necessary. Used to drive me nuts, felt that it undermined me etc...but I've learned to chill about it and to let the gps be gps.

Original poster
sheeplikessleep · 21/10/2010 16:44

fair dos

OP posts:
WitchyFlisspaps · 21/10/2010 18:20

DH had the 'birthday fairy' when he was little (and in fact, not so little) - he got a little something on his sister's birthday, and she got a little something on his.

I found it very peculiar. I think that it's important for children to learn that some days are about making someone feel special, rather than thinking everyone gets a present on someone elses birthday.

bentneckwine1 · 21/10/2010 18:43

When I was growing up we just to receive a little gift from my gran and old aunties on the birthdays of all siblings AND cousins!!

Just little things like notebooks, stickers or something similar...we all got the same regardless of age/gender for each birthday in the year!

There was no way I wa starting that...would cost me a fortune!

pranma · 21/10/2010 18:49

Well...when dgs1 was 4 recently and was eagerly opening presents dgs2 [19mnths] was wandering round sadly holding up discarded wrapping paper and saying,'Mine?'in a very sad voice.At the request of his parents I had taken only a gift for the birthday boy but I have told them I will never do that again.I went home and wrapped a small car and gave it to dgs2 whose little face lit up

CrazyPlateLady · 21/10/2010 20:05

I never agree with this.

My nan used to do it for my cousins. Never for anyone else, only them. She said it was a shame that one got presents and the other didn't. Hmm

I pointed out that they both have a birthday in the year so what difference did it make.

wb · 21/10/2010 20:13

Well, I kind of disagree. I think there is a short period of a child's life (say 18 mo to 2.5) when they are old enough to realise their sibling is getting presents but not old enough to understand why they aren't. At this age I think it does no harm to give them a little something to open to prevent tears and upset.

We did this last year with ds2. He was not quite 2 on ds1's birthday and we got an awful lot of peace and goodwill in exchange for a small packet of chocolate buttons. This year he will be nearly 3 and can understand why it isn't his turn (even if he doesn't like it).

HeadFairy · 21/10/2010 20:17

I used to think this was silly, my sister used to get presents on my birthday because her birthday is early January and mine is mid summer so my poor sister had a whole year to wait for her next present receiving opportunity Hmm However, now I have a dd who's birthday is New Year's Eve I might have to give this a rethink... I'll see how she is when she's older..

pointythings · 21/10/2010 20:48

My DDs are 7 and 9 and we still give the other one a little something on the birthday child's birthday. My parents did it with me and my sis, and it made no difference to us - no harm, no foul.

readywithwellies · 21/10/2010 20:49

Mine have an unbirthday present, just something little, this time it is a little torch

CrazyPlateLady · 22/10/2010 09:56

My 2 DC's are going to have birthdays with in a coupld of weeks so it won't make a difference with us anyway. Smile

Doesn't help that this is about 5 weeks after xmas. Great planning on our part, Wink

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