I will try and be brief but need to give you some background info.
fil is and always has been a violent, abusive man.
Dh grew up in an environment of fear and always having to think about his siblings and mother before risking voicing any opinion which might annoy his dad. This could in turn make his dad shout/hit the rest of the family in temper.
Anyway, I have always tolerated my fil for my dh sake who refused to cut ties because of his mother who always used the line "think what will happen to me" if we said we didn't want to see fil.
Anyway having been lead to believe that fil had calmed down in recent years this noe appears not to be the case.
Things have come to a head when fil has tried to involve my dd in a dispute he has had with his other son. Quite frankly he has said things about my dd's uncle which I would not even think about my own child, let alone say to anyone else, least of all a child. He has also said nasty things about her cousins(same son's children).
When dh asked fil to stop and not involve dd in any of this, he went beserk accusing my dd of lying. Mil sent a text to say that dd was lying and that fil had not said those things to her. Later on she replied that of course she knew fil had said those things and dd was telling the truth but fil had kept her up until the early hours and made her send the text.
Fil then proceeded to sent mallicious emails to our home computer about his son and girlfriend. When he received no response from us he then twice wrote to say that my dh was not his favourite child and that all my dcs did when visit him in hospital was sit at the side of his bed. Well fuck me what did he expect a song and dance routine!!!!
He then wrote about not liking the gifts which my children had given him from their holidays(bought from their own money).
He has no friends, none of his in laws speak to him.
I have since wrote to mil and told her that we will not be seeing him ever agian. She is welcome but under no circumstances will my children be in his company again neither will I or my dh.
I told her not to try and talk my dh round as she always has done.
Deep down dh is scarred by his violent, controlling horrible father and that is why I have written and not him.
I know that I anbu. but needed to write it down.
There have been many other instances I could mention but him involving my dcs is the final straw.
Thanks for reading.