To think that if my child gets invited to an "expensive" party, I need to buy an expensive gift?

[ForMashGetSmash]

I'm just not sure...DD has been invited to a party where it's going to cost around 40 or 50 quid a head for each child..should I spend more money on a gift for the child?

Or is that totally unecassary? Feel slightly uncomfortable about the party....ok it's not exactly Moet and caviar but it is more costly than most of the parties our kids in DD's class 2 have usually had...the child is new and her parents may be trying to impress I think.

Most of our kids have a do at the local playcentre or a tea party at home...I hope this one won't begin some mad one-upmanship as we (the parents) have been happy with our cheapish party's....

What's the going amount to spend on a present for a classmates Birthday gift? I usually spend around £10.00...is that ok? Or should I spend more? Or is this question crass and should I have DD craft the kid a nice lentil necklace gven with much love?

£10 is fine. Not your fault the parents are spending such a silly amount

There's no need to spend any more money,simply because they're having a particuarly lavish party.

How do you know what it is costing? What is it?

I would just buy the usual guff children like, and not to worry about the parents. You could bring a hostess gift if you were so inclined though.

Ha I think a tenner is fine, when u have more than one kid and they get loads of invites it soon mounts up. When u see a bargain buy a few at a time ready!!!

I wouldn't spend more regardless of the party.

I spend £5-10 for a school friend, often pickin up bargains along the way.

It is irrelevant how much the party is costing per head. That is up to the parents of the birhday child.

Tenner is fine, if they want to show off spend loads on a party, that's up to them

Go for your usual present budget.

It really is not a good thing (or a good example to set) to adapt your behaviour as a result of other people's. You have to do what you think it right - a £10 present is very generous.

It is their choice to have the expensive party, accept gratefully, make sure you and your DD say thanks at the end.

I'd hate to think that if I treated my DCs to a more expensive party, other parents would react to it by upping their pressie budget! I'd rather they pretended not to notice

I would't worry about spending extra just because they are. It's a very good way to end up bitterly hating badly timed expensive parties!

I think your usual spend is perfectly reasonable. The parents of this new child are rather crass and possibly a bit nouveau if they are spending lots of money without sussing out the territory first. What do the other usual parents think?

Where is the party? What does it involve? Just curious, wouldn't have thought it was possible to spend this much!

I would spend the same amount i always do, between £5 and £10.

Yes Flo...I should begin doing that....thatsnotmyzombie....I know because I enquired at the venue myself a few years back...and ruled it out.

For my dd's 13th, we spent £100 per head for 3 of her friends. I hope to god the family didn't have the same concerns, and by the lovely thoughtful inexpensive presents, they certainly did not match to price per head, but nor would I of wanted them to.

Whocantakeasunrise I think it will cost this family lots more as the whoel class is coming! Plus...if my DD was 1 and only wanted 3 mates I would also dig a little deeper...it's a special Birthday your 13th...and with only 3 you want to make sure they have a ball.

Sorry...if my DD was 13! Not 1.

The expensive party doesn't mean they are crass or showing off, if they can afford it and want to treat their DC and friends, it is up to them.

People shouldn't judge, just as they shouldn't feel they have to change their own behaviour to match.

I'd hate people to notice or react to what my child's party cost, either way - jelly & icecream at home or the £50 do (which is what, OP? I am rather curious )

Tenner is fine.

Where is the party?

Alfabetty....good point! About changing behaviour...I like that. Yes...must stay true to budget myself!

I want to know what the party is!! Indoor skydiving? Quad biking? Hiring a clown for each child? I want to know!!!!

I can't say! It would reveal....one never knows who is on here!

Just spend what you usualy do on a gift.

I agree with the others are would not adjust my spending.

My DDs have a budget for their birthdays of about £250 (presents + treat + party). Some years, they have a big present they want (like a new bike) and so will only get a cheap party. Other years, like this one, they will get the expensive party, but DD1s presents is only costing me £25 (less than that actually because I used vouchers ). It wouldn't occur to me that other people might spend more / less because of what DD wanted me to spend my money on.

Spend what you'd normally spend and leave it at that. Competitive parties are bad enough without competitive present giving

I do lavish parties.
I do it because I want to and I would be very upset if I thought that anyone considered spending more than they usually do on a gift.

Just because my background and circumstances mean I wantto celebrate this way, does not mean that I think my DD is different from her mates.

Spend what you usually spend

I also agree with the usual amount, I usually spend £8/10 on a present.
I have to limit it as little girl went to 3 the other week!!