to expect my 12yo DS to look after his phone?

[Poppity]

It's an honest question.....am I expecting too much of him? Is it normal for boys this age to be hopeless at putting thngs back in the place they live?

I think I probably am BU, in which case, what should his punishment be for losing it, if any? (if that is in fact the case and I can't find it later in one of the places he swears he has looked)

It is only an old and basic phone, he has had it for 2 years, cost £40 originally. He has asked for a fancy new one for Christmas, and I've already bought it (need to stretch the Christmas purchases out!). I don't know whether we should still give it to him. I have to nag him a lot about where his things are, sadly he takes after me and I have only really managed after 40 years to know where my car keys are occasionally.....I hate being like it, I have wasted so much time looking for things, I want to try to help him organise himself better than me!

Sorry, that's so muddled, posting in a hurry as about to go to school.

Let him have the phone but on the strict understanding that it is 100% his responsibility and that, if it goes missing, it won't be replaced by you.... he'll have to pay for it out of pocket money or go without. Help him to be more organised & tidier by all means but have 'no phone' as the ultimate sanction

I'm glad you think that's ok,that's pretty much what we already say. Trouble is he doesn't get much pocket money, we just can't afford it at the moment. He only gets £10 a month, I am not even sure what others his age get, although he assures me they get this a week

Also, I want him to have a phone, he has to go on the school bus and I like to know he can contact me easily, as I am always running the younger two to clubs etc. I find this kind of detail very confusing. I often end up in a situation where I have to go back on what I've said as it just can't work.

I guess he could have the threat of my knackered old phone if he lost his?

There are still payphones around that use coins or cards and, if push comes to shove, he can make a reverse charge call if he gets in trouble. If everyone else on the bus has a phone he could use their's and offer to pay them back later. Generations of kids made it to school and back on buses quite safely in the past without having a mobile phone on them... he'd survive quite happily without one.

If he gets £10/month it would take him 4 months to replace his phone should it get lost. That's an incentive to take responsibility & be more organised...

You're right, I'm over complicating things!

My lad broke his new mobile on a school trip, so he paid for the new one.